Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Peggy Redmond on May 27, 2012 at 3:30pm

I think people say this because they don't know what else to say. They are not the one morning the loss of a child. I know what you are saying, I am mourning the loss of my daughter,it will be 2 years this July.

Permalink Reply by Davita Coley on May 30, 2012 at 12:39am

God bless u Peggy ((((((((PEGGY)))))) to you:-)

Permalink Reply by lynne thompson on May 27, 2012 at 3:39pm

I know , Davita, unless they are going through this themselves , they have NOOOOO idea what it is like......tell them it is not the flu , it takes a long time, tell them to pick one of their children and see if they would like never to see them again..........and if that does not work , just tell them to shut up......I am sad and grumpy today myself.....ugh

 

Permalink Reply by Davita Coley on May 30, 2012 at 12:40am

You're right Lynne, they can't possibly know whay I'm going through.  Thank you 4 that(((((((LYNNE)))))))) :-)

Permalink Reply by anna l. on May 27, 2012 at 4:25pm

Davita, words cant express how sorry I am for what has happened.  No one should ever have to outlive their children.  I agree with what others have said, that people say the darndess things just because they want to offer some support but they dont have a clue what to say or do.  They know no words or actions can bring your little girl back.  When people have said similiar things to me I suppose they meant to hang on because it does get less agonizing as time goes on.  It never gets better.  It will always be different without our loved ones.  But 2 years since my son died suddenly, and almost a year since my husband died, I can say it gets calmer.  The panic inside eases.  The nightmares get less often. 

Permalink Reply by Peggy Redmond on May 27, 2012 at 4:29pm

Anna, my heart goes out to you. Hugs

 

Permalink Reply by Davita Coley on May 30, 2012 at 12:44am

PPL have told me that as well and Anna, u just don't know how I wish that I could snap amy fingers and like 10 yrs. would have passed...because it's just not real!!!It's just the DAMN NUMBNESS.....UGGHHHHHH..........(((((((((Anna)))))))))), you be encouraged honey:-)

Permalink Reply by Jessica Berninzon on May 27, 2012 at 7:58pm

Its only been 4 months 19 days and 4 hours since i found out about amber and im gonna have to guess that i have pretty much heard it all , at first i was shocked ,hurt , angry now i just get this smile smirk look down shake my head because no one means to be a complete imbecile they mean well .I have reached the point now where what people may say think or feel about my child or me is absolutely of no care to me im to full of pain grieve and just spent really ...the fact that forever is really just that is setting in now ...i cant stand it that feeling consumes me now

Permalink Reply by Davita Coley on May 30, 2012 at 12:51am

Jessica, it's so funny you say that about FOREVER SETTING IN. Don't you know that's where I'm at right now in my mind? I'm starting to look at the BIG PICTURE, and I say to myself,"NOW DAVITA, YOU ARE HER MOTHER AND THIS IS FOREVER, YOU HAVE TO START PREPARING TO COPE WITH THIS....FOREVER, NOT JUST 6 MONTHS, 5 YEARS, 20 YEARS, ECT., BUT FOREVER". I know exactly what you mean hon. Some people do mean well I know, butI would rather a HUG if they dnt know what to say,((((((((((((((((JESSICA)))))))))))))))), FROM ME TO YOU JES, YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS THAT GOD GIVES YOU STRENGTH:-)

Permalink Reply by Jessica Berninzon on May 30, 2012 at 8:07pm

((( Davita ))) im not talking much here lately because i have a really bad attitude and just to dam fucked in my head excuse my language and people here are already going thru so much im either way to talkative or totally mums i just wanted to say hello to you today ... thinking about you ....Jessica

Permalink Reply by cindy parrott on October 15, 2012 at 10:40am

It has been 2 years since I lost my son. When I first heard the news that he was lost in a surfing accident I couldn't believe it. I went numb. I felt like someone was choking the life out of me. As time has gone one The numbness has lifted some. Most days I get up, put one foot in front of the other and got on with living. In my case I have 2 other adult children. I know they need me. Many times I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up.  I still feel this way sometimes. Our children are not supposed to leave before us but sometimes they do. I've lost more then my son, I lost my faith, my marriage is crumbling because I shut my husband out because of my grief. I know this probably is not helping you much. I don't think I'm strong. I just go on because I don't know what else to do. Time does help some. The ache is not as strong but it is something you learn to live with.  Know that there are others like myself who understand your pain. My heart is with you