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Also missing my Mom.
I can relate to almost everything I read here.....I lost my Mom on 9/24/2017. We lived together since 2008. I became her primary care giver in 2011 after she broke her hip. She developed Dementia after that surgery. She was my best friend. As hard as the last few years were.........trying to keep her from getting out of the house and wandering........keeping my career going while keeping her safe and "healthy" and finding care to be with her, I can't stand not having her anywhere..........I can't stand it. My 4 siblings are on disconnect with her or I. I feel like I have served my purpose by giving her a good end of life in the comfort of her own home. I kept her social and loved to the end. I feel shattered and lost........
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jenni H on
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I lived with my mother my entire life except during a failed marriage and a 2 year stint. She had a bad back until the stroke. I had to watch her in pain 24/7. She was mother first, best friend second, and soul mate forever. She died today in 2017. I miss her so much it makes me sick. We were attached at the hip. You seen me you seen her and vice versa.
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Meaning, I relate to your pain. I didn't mean to sound cold, my grief has turned me into a daughter who misses her mother. I'll keep you in my prayers. <3
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Permalink Reply by Patricia Chavez on
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I’m sorry for your pain, but I understand how you hurt.. my mom passed on December 2017, she lived with me since 2007..we went to the mall, movies and outings with my husband .. we three were always out together.. she had Congestive heart failure.. I cry for her every day, the pain is unbearable, she was my strength, my best friend, . Last 2 weeks of her life, she told me to please don’t cry for her, to be happy that she would no longer be in pain.. I payed in bed with her for 8 days , would leave her with my sister or niece , and run to bathe or bathroom and was so afraid to leave her and she would pass .. she died in my arms, I made sure she always knew I was there with her as I had promised her .. god it hurts so much, I would give anything to hold her one more time and kiss her lips and hands as I use too .. how do I go on ???
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Permalink Reply by Rhonda Robinson on
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I no your heartache. .today is 3 months my mother passed.. she believe she is with you always..Talk to her also..it helps..and if it is a question you have for her she will answer because you know what her answer will be.some days are harder than others stay busy as much as possible. .hold her close to your heart..wear a piece of her jewelry. .and pray for strength every day..sounds like you have very good memores of her..some people are not so lucky..God Bless you
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Rhonda,
thank you for your kind reply . It gives me some comfort to know my grieving for my mom is normal.. there are days I feel as if I’m suffocating the pain is so unbearable . My husband and I had my mom living with us for the past nine years, my life revolved around her.. The three of us were always out at the movies,eating , at the mall and now that she’s gone I don’t want to go nowhere’s. I don’t want to leave the house , I want to be where I can smell her gowns, , go into her bedroom and her TV room ; where I feel her presence.. where do I began to except she’s not coming back . I had some baby monitors in each room so I could hear when my mother needed me and she called for me ; last night I fell asleep in her lifter chair, I clearly heard her calling my name and I answered her “mom I’m coming “ as I sat up , I realized she was gone and it was a dream ; but dear Lord I clearly heard her voice calling me .. dear lord, HOW, WHERE , WHEN does the pain ease a little !!
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Patricia..I know and understand where your at..I also woke up hearing my moms voice..my eyes opened wide..they say hearing your loved ones voice is there way of saying there with you..I know the feeling of not wanting to go out..sometimes you have to force yourself..even if it's just a walk..keep yourself busy around the house..do these things for yourself..your mom would want you too..if not yourself ..for her.. and talk to her..and pray..everyone is different in grieving and time is different as well..don't guestions how long it takes..just take day by day..God Bless you..just know your mom would not want you to be hard on yourself and would want you to go on with your life..just give yourself time
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Patrica..please don't guestion how long this grieve will last..time heals minute by minute..day by day. Ask God to guide you and give you strength..some days I will feel fine and then out of no where it hits me with my thoughts. And I go back to thinking about the past..it's like I have to train my thoughts to keep peace in my mind from going crazy..like I should of done or said to her..so I just stay busy or walk on the treadmill or swim..clean house. Take one day at a time as it comes..we have to try and remember ..our mother would not want us to grieve like this..and wants us to be happy..so we have to go on as hard as it is.. they are at peace and would want us to be at peace as well.. God Bless
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I to lost my mother 12-1 -17..I feel I have lost my heart as well.. life does go on.. no matter how we feel .. we have to continue to live our life..that is what our mother would want us to do
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Jennifer..I know the feeling of loss..something about losing a mother that makes it harder.. give yourself credit where where it's well deserved..and please know regreats.. everyone has them...no matter what..just know that you did your best in caring for your mother..
I to..took care of my mother..it was not easy..but I did my best..I retired to care for both my parents..my dad still here with me..just pray for strength.. it sounds like you took good care of her..I'm sure she knows how much you did for her and loves you even more for all your help..take care and God Bless you
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