Hello.  I am a new member.  I lost my husband of 16 years on March 3 2016 to a sudden heart attack.  He was only 49 years old.  My emotions have been up and down since that evening...disbelief, immense sorrow, so much guilt, and at times a bit of anger.  The nights I find are the worst.  I lie on the couch with his blanket where he used to sit and watch tv or play xbox and I just want to die.  He was my best friend.  We did everything together.  I can't bear to watch tv or the video games we played together or my hobbies. There is nothing to distract my mind.  I'm completely lost.  My three boys, who are in their 20's, are helping me so much but I still feel alone.  The thought of spending the rest of my life without my soulmate is too much to take.

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Hi Lisa, i know exactly how u feel, i lost my partner of 11 years very suddenly just over a week ago, still waiting to find out cause of death, but it was something to do with his heart. We did everrything together, like u ps3 games, films, now i hav nothing, my life has stopped, i just want him back, Mo x
I understand, too. My husband died 3.5 years ago, and I feel exactly the same.

Hi Lisa,

I also understand all your feelings, I lost my husband on 5/5/2013 and my pain still continues. it's a long and painful road. This site has really helped me and I hope it does the same for you. God Bless.

I know exactly how that is.  I lost my husband Jan. 20, 2016 to cancer.  We did everything together and now I can count on one hand the times I have even cooked a meal since he left.  I can't cook anything he loved, I can't stand watching the shows he watched.  and yes, night time is the worse, after laying next to someone for almost 30 years, I feel so lost and have no idea what I'm doing.  I try to stay busy, but I think of him every second of every day.  I keep thinking, how long until I can join him.

Hi Robin,

You comment make me think of all the things that most om this site share. I too, cannot bear to watch any TV shows we watched together. I keep praying to God to take me so I can be with him, but he is not answering me, I am questioning my faith. 

My husband was taken from me on 14th February the paramedics said massive heart attack. I still can't believe he's gone. I go to bed and expect him to be there. We worked together but I always came home an hour earlier to do tea but I still expect him to come home. Our dog still sits waiting for him. We were the same we did everything together.the tale is on but I'm not watching it. The emotions like you say are immense you really don't know what's coming next. My younger son was with me on the night and tried his best to help him but the paramedics tried for 45 mins with no success.like you said the thought of spending the rest of your life without your soulmate is so hard to even think about.

It's hard reading posts on here, so many of us hurting and not a darn thing we can do about it.  I'm so sorry for the loss all of you feel.  We all have the same feelings and I'm glad that I'm not alone in what I am going through.  I don't feel so isolated as I do in life knowing that there's so many of you that can help me with your words to others.

Hi Lisa,
I, too, lost my husband to a sudden heart attack 11 months ago at age 49. I can relate to your shock and feelings of disbelief. Nothing is the same. It is very hard to fathom such a loss of the person that was a part of you, did everything with you....sending prayers your way!

~Angela

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