Comment

Comment by Mary M. on January 1, 2013 at 5:04pm

Nancy, To be honest, I don't know!  For a few weeks before Christmas I was starting to feel like everything would be fine .. but Christmas and New year's just about killed me.  I had family and friends around but somehow that just made it worse .. I didn't have the one person I wanted here with me.  So like you I feel worse than ever.  People have said go for a walk, do something active when you feel really down .. but at -27 C I don't feel like walking outside so I sit, try to read, cry and instead of looking at the blessings I do have I can only see what I have lost.  I know this is not really helping you except to know that you are not alone and I am sure there are lots more of us that have found the holidays very difficult to get through.  All I can tell you is what I keep telling myself, hang in there.

Comment by Nancy7282 on January 1, 2013 at 3:44pm

Hello,

New here and feel just sad beyond descritption. My husband died 8/6/12 from lung cancer, and I think I feel worse than ever. The holidays haven't helped. Is there ever any relief from this? I just seem to feel worse.

Nancy

Comment by dream moon JO B on December 29, 2012 at 3:45pm

i hate the big c it destroys people and i hate c o p d

Comment by Mary M. on December 29, 2012 at 10:55am

Angel, I think this time of year is especially painful because we remember all that we are missing so much more.  Emotions are high, family is around more and when they leave that loneliness seeps in and we get even more emotional.  Hang in there!  Somebody told me at one  point to think about the blessings and what I have rather than what I have lost.  While it doesn't lessen my pain or always stop the tears it does help me realize that I do have people to live for, kids and grandkids that need me to share special events in their lives, like graduations, marriages, births, etc.   My uncle passed away some time ago and when my auntie was visiting this past summer she said there are some days when she still can't stop crying.  She can be out and something will trigger an emotion and tears will flow.  As I told her, it's OK to cry, its our way of healing and acknowledging the loved ones we have lost, but we also need to be here for our families. 

Comment by Angel on December 29, 2012 at 9:52am

Mary...thank you for reaching out...all I do is cry..it is worse than the first year...Ihave some fulfilling volunteer activities coming up but they won't start until March and I am petrified I won't make it that far..my kids and grandkids all go back to school and work on wed..and I am so afraid...my close friend have all passes very young...I have no one..sometimes I just cry because I have no friends.. left to talk to...I feel so alone...I know Bill wouldn't want this but I pray to God..and I talk to Bill and nothing changes...I know God is never late...but I can't stand the pain anymore...there is no end to it...every minute of every day...even when I'm out and with people the tears just flow...I'm to the point of sitting on my couch and just crying all day and staying clear of everyone...I don't know what else to do or try to make a life for myself...

Comment by Mary M. on December 29, 2012 at 9:27am

Angel, I am so sorry, you seem to be feeling so lost and alone.  Know that many of us feel the same way.  I know that each morning I wake up and wonder why I am still here.  What keeps me going is my faith that I am here for some purpose I can't see right now.  So I go through the motions of living.  I put on a mask for my family and friends and somehow get through yet another day.   I think that helping others in someway helps me to help myself.  Knowing that I am not alone, that others are feeling similar pain makes me want to reach out and help them, because if they feel the same isolation that I feel some days I think they need a reminder that we are here, all of us hurting souls.   My long way of saying that you are not alone in your feelings, that if you want to talk, we are here to listen.   Your husband would not want you to be sad forever, and he will always be with you in your heart, in your memories, and in the love the two of you shared.  Hugs & Blessings to you!

Comment by Angel on December 29, 2012 at 9:18am

Good morning everyone....I haven't been around much because I can't take the pain anymore..and have just been trying to survive everyday...my husband passed 2 years ago from lung and bone cancer ....I have tried volunteering..(I retired very young to take care of him) grief groups...to meet men and women...Ihave gone on dating sites and walk away from all of them....so I know it's not for me..I'm looking for my husband...Ican't take the pain and lonliness anymore...I am giving up....I feel it...I pray..and pray....I push and push to go out ..keep busy..but nothing helps...I am seeing a psycholgist...and that's not helping...what do we do when we lose our spouse and 2 years later are losing our mind...???? I'm scared at the way I feel...

Comment by Mary M. on December 29, 2012 at 8:21am

Chloe, even though the years have passed the pain stays with us doesn't it.   I am sorry for your losses and if you'd like to talk I am a good listener.   Hugs to all!

Comment by Dennis C. on December 29, 2012 at 7:22am

It is my opinion that death accomplishes nothing good. It leaves us in so much pain and anguish. I don't believe that death is Gods way of doing things at all. The Bible says this.

1 Corinthians 15:26 (KJV) — The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

Yes, death is an enemy. No wonder we all feel the way we do.

Comment by Chloe on December 28, 2012 at 10:18pm

I found out that my Mom had terminal lung and bone cancer when she did not show up at my husband's funeral. She died just a few days later. It has been almost 4 yrs now and it still seems like yesterday. I would love to talk with anyone that wants to talk about the people we love.

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