Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

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Discussion Forum

Lost Dad to Lung Cancer

Started by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12, 2019.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

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Comment by Mary M. on February 26, 2013 at 8:57pm

Melisa, thanks for repeating the  message from the other person about how our loved ones can see our hearts and the love we feel for them clearly.  So well put.  It was what I needed to read today.

Comment by Mary M. on February 26, 2013 at 8:54pm

Anna, I am sorry today was such a bad one for you.  I have had a few of those myself lately.  It's been extra hard for me today because a very dear friend is undergoing surgery to hopefully remove the cancer in her lung.   Have been praying all day that things went well .. and can't wait to hear from her daughter and yet I am so scared to hear at the same time.  Hugs & blessings Anna

Comment by dream moon JO B on February 26, 2013 at 3:08pm

me 2 anna l it will be my dads 1st anvesry on sunday all the deats of people who i new last month didnt help it brings it all bac som times it does i did not thnk 6 people who i new cud all die in 1 month iv only herd of it in bad acsendents 

Comment by Melisa C on February 26, 2013 at 6:16am

Anna, I send you a hug and hope you can cope better tomorrow, even if it's a little bit.

Comment by Melisa C on February 26, 2013 at 6:14am

Linda, I agree with Mary, having said 'I love you' is much more important than 'goodbye'. I also like what some one else said, that now they are gone they can see our hearts and the love we feel for them clearly, and that's what matters.

Comment by anna l. on February 26, 2013 at 12:49am

Just having a really bad day today.  It is only a week until the anniversary of my sons death, and soon after that it will be 2 years since I really  had my husband, before he got sick and our world ended.  Today my daughter in law was having problems with her neck and her doctor suggested she wear a neck brace at night.  In a drawer are the neck braces Tom wore or were bought for him to wear when his neck was hurting so bad.  He was in such excruciating pain and the stupid doctors kept saying it was arthritis even though there was cancer in his ribs and middle vertibrae.  A month of that nonsense before he had an mri and it showed what the cat scans were not.  His skull and top vertibrae of his neck had been eaten away by cancer.  I sooo wanted to go ram those results into the face of the doctors that tried to treat his neck pain with massage and tylenol 3s.  Oh dear, I really am in an mood tonight. Better go finish this cry, maybe have a bath and some tea and crackers. 

Comment by Mary M. on February 25, 2013 at 8:20pm

Linda, I am sorry for your loss and I don't believe you were a bad mother.   And personally, I think saying I love you is much better than saying goodbye.  You showed your love by the care you gave your son when he was here, he knew you loved him and knows you miss him.

jb - I am glad you believe in heaven, but that being the case, you must know that the only way there is through Jesus, not by anything we do on this earth.   I know that if you truly believe you will see your loved ones again.  

It does help to focus on others or, as Judy says, just focusing on taking better care of ourselves.   Hugs & Blessings to all.

Comment by judy Schuster on February 25, 2013 at 4:43pm

Hi Kathy...I lost my husband 6 months ago and I too struggle with feelings of guilt...could I have done more...what if we had done this instead of that...but I am beginning to accept that I truly did what I thought was right and what I thought he wanted throughout the process.  It is better some days than others...I agree with Jeanne that we need to find new things to focus on wether it be volunteering or just taking better care of ourselves.

 

Comment by dream moon JO B on February 25, 2013 at 7:30am

i do beleve in heven and god mary m it just wen people say thy r in a beter plase it gets me yes thy mite be in a beter plase but we not in a beter plase the wolrd we live in is just full of horbell death and 2 many people trying to blow up the world it just gets me wen thy say u mite sea thm again1 day if u go to heven tht is if u dont go tothe bad plase ths 1 gets me 2 i no people try to help but its wen thy say the wong thngs like u shud get over it or wen thy say u shud of got over thm the day thy die to me ths hurts wen thy say it it dose  or im not bean fair to ther fealings coz i get upset over loved 1s death i cant help it if the person or people who die if i loved thm in ther lives                     linda h u r not a bad mother its just bad hospiltels who treat us like guini pigs and lab rats u can tell u loved yore son i can understand why david didnt like drs som drs r hard to trust sory if i saied any thng wong or carzed upset sory ok

Comment by linda hernandez on February 25, 2013 at 6:02am

i lost my son to cancer the problem is i never knew he had it he died with in 2 week of having it. David was my special child he lived with me for 39 years due to him being handicapped in the mentally way.he hated Dr never really went ,it started with a cold and 2 weeks later i had to pull his life support,i am lost cause i never said good bye just i love you and feel like i let him down or more less a bad mother.

 

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