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Comment by kathy bishop on February 28, 2013 at 8:09pm

Anna, I pray that people whom I am taking my anger out on understands. My husband was only sick for 6 months, but his interfering mother try to make his dying days as crazy as she is. I had to call cops into a nursing home, which made me even angry than I needed to be, then refused to celebrate his life with us at his dinner, now wants me to call her because I have rejected her. Is this normal?  Or am I just crazy. My mom died peacefully, with us around.  All I do is cry, and hate people but yet I still want them around.  Does this make sense to anyone. Life has thrown me two curve balls and I can't catch them. My daughter told me to call the dr. today, I laughed at her and asked her what could he do for me, when he doesn't return my calls.  Let me sleep my grief away, and when I wake up it will be gone. thanks for listening.  I hope I am not losing it.

t

Comment by anna l. on February 28, 2013 at 7:33pm

Kathy B.  I received a message from you today and I cant figure out how to reply back to you.  I can tell you that my experience was after Tom died just a year and a bit after our son I was a horrid person.  I was cranky, obsessive, and swore like a sailor.  My grandchildren were all between the ages of 10 and 20 and I guess I figured they were old enough to handle Nana without a filter.  To those closest to me I was mean at times.  I had had enough, could not take any more, and could not hold anything together any more.  The anger came out in some nasty ways at times.  I did not like myself at all but was powerless to stop it.   But 5 or 6 months after Tom died my 16 year old granddaughter said to me, It sure is nice to have my Nana back.  And I was back.  The filters were coming back in place.  I no longer was letting every thought that came into my head go out my mouth.  I will never be the person I was before my son and husband died but I am an ok person again.  So please give yourself time to process all that has happened.  It is sooo soon since your last loss.  Sending hugs of understanding to you my dear. 

Comment by anna l. on February 28, 2013 at 10:53am

Linda, my son has been gone almost 3  years and I still wake up alot of times and it takes a few seconds before I remember he is gone.  Hurts every single time!  Hugs my friend.  It is hard

 

Comment by Mary M. on February 28, 2013 at 10:30am

Hi Linda, I am sorry for your loss.  Hugs & blessings

Comment by Kim Phillips on February 28, 2013 at 7:23am

Hi Linda,

I wake up every day thinking it is just a bad dream and everything will be back to normal.  I wake up every day thinking that it isn't real.  I understand.  Sending you hugs.

 

Comment by linda hernandez on February 28, 2013 at 6:02am

the last few days i have not been able to function,my son on my mind alot.has anyone woke up and wished that it was all a bad dream and you would just hope to see that smile,in my case my son would just be going to bed as i was waking up he was a night owl up all night trying to beat a video game,but on his was to bed he would say love u mom wake me up at 3:00pm boy thats what i miss i love and miss him so much,  

Comment by Mary M. on February 27, 2013 at 8:15pm

Hi Shaun I am sorry for your losses.   It takes time to go through the different phases of grief and each of us deals with grief in our own unique way.  Hugs and blessings. 

Comment by Shaun Cornell on February 27, 2013 at 4:59pm

This is my first visit to this site. I lost my mother the Squamous Cell Carcinoma in Apr 2011. It was very unexpected, she nvr complained she was ill. We took her to the hospital, she was there a wk, they sent her home, and she passed a few days l8r.

That was a shock to the family. My family has had many losses. Ive lost 4, out of the 5 brothers I had...my parents, and not my son/daughter inlaw last yr.

There r a lot of things that ppl can say to make it easier for u to deal with, and we appreciate it emmensely, but only we can heal, only we can deal w/the pain, anger, and guilt we have.

My mother, and I didn't have a very good relationship. She did more for the boys, than she did for my sister, and I. But, I came to terms w/that. I knew she would only be with me, when she needed something from me. Just as it was w/my sister. We only fit into her life when it was convenient for her.

But, I still loved her, she gave me birth. I wouldn't have had my wonderful son, and the yrs I did w/him, if my mom hadn't gave birth to me. I made it my lifes goal to be btr to my son, than she was to me.

Up until he was taken from me in a tragic automobile accident, I was here for him, and did w/e I could to be the mom, that my mom wasn't for me.

I know I sound bitter, and angry. But, I feel a lil like Christina in Mommie Dearest. My mom was an abusive woman when I was growing up, and when I got older, she was more verbal in her abuse, than physical. But, she was my mother. I was told to respect my elders, and parents, regardless. So I did.

I just went into a shell when I was around her. When she passed, I was saddened, but not like the rest of my family. Our relationship wasn't very happy. So, I didn't feel much when she passed.

I can imagine what ppl think of me. What a rotten thing to say about ur mother, but...the way she raised me, was rotten as well. I do wish things would've been different w/us, but with my brothers' passing, it nvr did get better.

To this day, I don't know how to feel about her, only that, she was my mother, and I loved her unconditionally. Ty mom for making me who I am 2day. If it wasn't for the way u brought me up, and the way u treated me, I nvr would've known what it was like to be loved, and love a child like I did Jared, my loving son.

RIP Mom

Comment by dream moon JO B on February 27, 2013 at 2:52pm

thnk u for the kind words and love and suport mary m it dose help coming on hear and leting off stress on the gropu pages it good we all sea thnhs in difrent ways it dose all the deaths lsat month wear all good people the 1st 1

bryan he woz a goog a frined of my mum and dad and me he did a lot for charity and always helpet peole

jimmy woz anothr good friend from the family he 2 woz always doing good thngs for people

hanna a nbor she had alzimers she woz a hevy chain smoker but she woz a good person

georg a nothr nbor he got killed by 2 hit and run drivers he had cerbal pasly but he woz a good person 2

tony a cuzen who i only saw at funrells and partys and othr family events he did from the big c he woz in remision last yr thn it cam bac 

steve a cuzen in law who wud do any thng to help any1 he wud alwasy put him self out to help people he died from lungc and bone c jimmy and bryan both had lung c 2 

thn 2 day i had to go to anothr funrell to suport my mum antr fried of my dads called john it woz the sam funrell comny we used the yung boy who did my dads woz 1 of the men cary the cofen but the lady who woks for thm did the funrell she spoke to us and told us to make sure we take god care frm our selfs

it the mint evry tim we sea the death notice thr is allways som 1 we no im geting a bit scard to look at it in case thr is more deaths 

but the people on hear hav bean very kind and suportev thn again it is called online grief suport so thank u mary m again for yore kind words and love and suprtot a big hug

Comment by Mary M. on February 26, 2013 at 8:59pm

jb - Its hard to lose so many people so close together and my heart goes out to you.  I am glad you get encouragement and hope from people here that helps you get through the toughest of days.  Hugs & blessings.

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