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Comment by Chandra G Brewer on March 12, 2013 at 11:52pm

I am not sure how to deal right now my daddy has not been dead four months yet and my birthday has just passed and it killed me to see another year of life without him. My daddy use to call me on my birthday and sing to me and my birthday came and went this year and no daddy.. I wished I knew how much I miss him and how much no matter how much we fought and may have disagreed I would give my life so he could be here today with my mom. My mom lifes with me and my family now because her health is not good and well to be honest if I had left her in Washington , State I would have lost her too. See my mom daddy had been married 42 years at the time of his death and his death was so sudden. They told my daddy on his 67th Birthday that he had lung and liver cancer and 19 days later he passed. I regret every day that I only got a day and half with my daddy because we had to wait to travel due to the military. I pray my daddy knew i was there in the end and that I am truly sorry I had to be the one to say you were dead daddy. I never wanted to have to do that and I pray that I will never have to again but I have a feeling that if mom keeps going the way she is I will in the next few years. I miss you daddy and I am going to go try to sleep because I am in so much pain and I can not seem to stop crying any more and my hurt just wants to stop.. I love you daddy...

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 12, 2013 at 4:32pm

no mary m did not sea it 

if thy do find  cures nd betr tretment it will be gtr for evry 1

me to big hugs @ prayers for evry 1 

Comment by Mary M. on March 12, 2013 at 4:24pm

jb, did you watch the show, the doctors, yesterday.  There were two cancer doctors on there who said they have come up with some big advances recently.   Still a long way to go but at least it sounded like something was happening that would result in more cures and less losses.  I am praying that is so anyway.   Hugs & prayers,

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 12, 2013 at 4:07pm

today all the ads on tv is to do of the big c

no smoking day 13th march wed to stop peple smoking i just wish thy nevr invented the dirty habit it crareze mst big c even peple who dnt smoke still get the big c

rase for life to rase mony for the c arenses trying to get evry 1 to do the rase

peple ask me why i dnt do the rase jst say iv no energy or not fit inuf

all i get told its apooor exsuse o my part

the big c evry tim i hear som 1 in the family has bean didgnozed wit it i jst feal like using evry swear word under the sun 

i jst wish ther woz a cure for it by now

Comment by anna l. on March 12, 2013 at 12:25pm

Im not sure whether to post this here or on stupid things people say.  I belong to another support group as well as this one.  The other day a woman posted that she had just lost her husband to bone cancer.  Horrible painful way to go as most of us here know.  Well this other person responded to her that she knows how it feels because she has, and I quote, "lost her husband to jail".  Now how in the heck is that the same thing?  Her husband probably did something bad to deserve to be put in jail.  Our loved ones did nothing wrong and were given a death sentence that was not kind or humane.  Our husbands can not still breath, watch tv, communicate with others, play basketball, eat, oh the list goes on and on.  Oh yes I could go on and on, but think I better go find a more constructive way to deal with the anger inside me at some peoples ignorance.

Comment by Mary M. on March 12, 2013 at 9:29am

Sue, Thanks for sharing this story with us.  While my faith is for the most part strong, your story touched my heart.  It renews my hope that I will meet my husband and other loved ones when it is my time to be free of the pain in this life.  Hugs & Prayers to you.

Comment by Sue Waxman on March 12, 2013 at 8:35am

Hi Friends,

I read about your loss's and my heart breaks for you. I lost my only parent my darling mom June 26, 2011 to throat cancer. I am completly lost in this world. I know exactly how you are feel and how you struggle to move forward. My only saving grace is my faith in knowing I will be reunited with her in heaven. This life cannot be all there is. I live my life doing this to make her proud of me and I try very hard to be the person God created ME to be. The only way to surive is to have faith and put your life in Gods hands. The day I siad "God I cannot do this alone" my pain was bearable. One night God allowed my mother to come back to vsisit me. She came in the form of a angel but it was her. She lifted up my bed covers and I said "Mom is that you". She said nothing. I said "Mom cuddle me". She climbed into bed cuddled me, kissed me on the cheek and then left. It was 3 am in the morning and I was half awake, unable to sleep. I was deeply crying when I fully awoke and for 3 weeks I felt like the energy of my body was very weak. Like the encounter took so much of my own energy to take place. She came to show me where she was and that she was happy, healthy and OK. I know she is in a much better place than I am. I know what life form we take in heaven. She was beautiful. Cancer is a murderous bastard created by evil. God rescues us from the desease. I feel your pain. I have 3 sisters who are coldhearted and I never hear from them or see them. Take one hour at a time friends.- Sue

Comment by Mary M. on March 10, 2013 at 11:20am

Hi Lyn,  I totally understand how you are feeling.  The anniversary of my husband's passing is coming up in two weeks and my emotions seem to have gone haywire.  Its like the whole world has turned upside down again and everything is falling out.   Hugs and prayers, 

Comment by Lyn Brolan on March 10, 2013 at 5:01am

loosing someone to cancer sucks I lost my sister last may 2012 after a four year battle I watched her going through the chemo and the radiation and I watched her have all sorts of problems with her eating as she couldnt swallow food properly it wouldnt go down and eventually she had to have all her food pureed. I loved my sister she was my eldest sister and when I knew she was struggling my family and I decided to sell our house and she sold her unit as she never married and we built a house together so we could take care of her. It was so sad to see her loose everything she was only 57 which breaks my heart. I think of her constantly I cry lots I know she would be up there telling me not to be a sook but it is so hard and coming up to her anniversary it just sucks. I know I will get through this but sometimes I feel I am doing everything on my own that not everybody understands the emotions. I dont know if it is just the emotions of how I am feeling.

 

Comment by Mary M. on February 28, 2013 at 8:55pm

Kathy, I am sorry for your loss and the insensitivity of your mother-in-law.  That was a lot to handle and sounds like you got through it and held the emotions in check until it was no longer necessary.  I think anger is the first part of grief.  I know for me I was angry at everybody even my husband for dying; and you think you are losing it.   But I found writing in a journal helped me express what I was feeling without undue to hurt to those around me.  Didn't always help, but slowly I was better able to control my emotions and work through my anger.  Hugs & blessings to you.

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