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Comment by Dennis C. on April 13, 2013 at 6:42am

I have a very dear friend who has breast cancer. She has fought valiantly for 4 years, but now it has spread to her brain. :-(

I saw her husband yesterday, and he is overwhelmed with the whole thing. I hugged him, told him that they are in my prayers, and confirmed my love for them both. Not much more you can do.

Comment by Mary M. on April 2, 2013 at 7:43am

Hi Jorgie,  I am sorry for your loss.   You will find lots of support here from people who are all at different stages of their grief journey.   Hugs & Prayers.

Comment by Mary M. on April 1, 2013 at 8:58am

Karen,  I have been told the first year, the first holidays, special occasions without those we love is the hardest.  I am not sure whether that is true or not.  I lost my husband one year and one week ago today and Easter this year was harder than last year.  Maybe because I was in a fog for a few months after he passed away.  But I am not sure the pain of loss gets better, I think we learn to handle it better, or to hide emotions from others better.   The belief that I will see my husband again when my time comes is what helps me.  I think this is the first year I didn't hide Easter eggs for my foster daughter.  Strange really because I did the Easter egg hunt as usual last year, or maybe friends did it for me, as i said I really just went through the motions of living those first months.   But my heart goes out to you along with hugs and prayers.  

Comment by Karen Van Benschoten on April 1, 2013 at 8:40am

My mom passed 6 months ago today. I didn't send her an Easter card this year. My heart still aches. When is that going to ease? Sometimes I can barely stand it.

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 26, 2013 at 5:20pm

i agrea kim abot the stages i did a online brevemt quiz how far am i in my bervemt i got stage 1 denial it saed ther woz 5 stages of grief im still stuck on denial i thn lumesdy dose 1 on brevement but i dont feal lik doing a brevement quiz just yet aftre all the death in jan adn in 2012 coz i no i will gte the same anser

Comment by Kim Phillips on March 21, 2013 at 10:51pm

Karen,

People go through various stages when they lose someone (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance).   These stages are not in any particular order nor do we have to go through all of them.  You asked how long it will be before you start to grieving?  I believe you have started the grieving process.  I believe you are in denia stage right now and that is ok.   I will say this, my mother lost her mother 2 years ago.  The first year was denial. She just put it in her mind that her mother was on a long trip.  After about a year and a half she began to realize that she wasn't coming home and started becoming angry and crying and etc.  I lost the love of my life and best friend 10 months ago.  I go through a lot of emotions on various days.  Some days I am so damn angry.  Some days I try to bargain with G-D to bring her back.  Some days I am depressed and cry most the day.  Some days I am ok.  I will say this,  the pain and the longing hasn't gotten any easier but I am learning how to cope with it better.  You will in your own time begin to go through some more of the grieving process.  You may need to be right where you are at this moment.   If you get to the point where this is beginning to cause you anxiety, it never hurts to go to grief counseling.

Comment by kathy bishop on March 21, 2013 at 9:43pm

Karen, I lost my husband 20 months ago and my mom only a month ago, it's ok to cry, be angry, be exhausted and even the feeling of guilt will hit u at times, those are all normal feelings of grief. Crying is good and healthy. LET THE TEARS GO

Comment by Mary M. on March 21, 2013 at 8:16pm

Hi Karen, I am sorry for your loss.  I agree with Bill and Jb, it sounds like you are not allowing yourself to grieve for whatever reason.  It's OK to cry, to be angry at the circumstance, it is part of the steps of grieving.   It will have been a year this Sunday since I lost my husband and believe me I was angry, upset, and lost for months after.  Even now I have those days when something will start the tears and I just go and have a good cry.  My faith is what has helped me get through this year, along with friends and family. Each of us has to grieve in our own way, at least that is what my grief support group tells me; and there are no time lines for us to work through our loss.  Hugs & prayers

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 21, 2013 at 4:49pm

the dr told me karen it cud take yrs  he told me or i mit e never get over lozing my dad

i hop im not sayng the wong thngs

never let any 1 tell u to get over thngs lik ths coz it makes u feal worse

iv bean told get over its easy nut i no its not today somthng on tv brot it all bac today i felt sad after tht on tv i woke up fealing grt coz i had dream abot my dad going on a airplane som wearthn the wake up get up put the tv on som thng on tv sets me off bean upset

Comment by Bill Smith on March 21, 2013 at 1:36pm

Karen, To me it sounds like you already are, but you keep suppressing it.  My 2 cents is "let it out."  It will have to come out sooner or later, and there are no set timelines.  I'm sorry for your loss. 

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