Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 632
Latest Activity: Jun 13, 2022

Discussion Forum

Lost Dad to Lung Cancer

Started by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12, 2019.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

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Comment by Ann on July 6, 2013 at 12:38am

For some of us, the grief has become a part of our being.  It's like we have grown another organ, a cold pit of a thing where all the hurt gathers.  It's right beneath the skin and when a memory brushes up against you take to bleeding inside; you bleed tears.  Then the organ sends a pain up to your heart and you can't breath for a minute, or two, or three, and then the pain starts to go away again for a while again.

Comment by James Mc on July 5, 2013 at 10:41pm

 After battling lung cancer for 3 years, my dad passed away July 3. 2013. I don't where to start to get help. My wife suggested a online group to start the healing process.

Comment by dream moon JO B on June 19, 2013 at 3:49pm

i ment grief at yore own spead

Comment by dream moon JO B on June 19, 2013 at 3:33pm

frief at yore own spead angela evn if it is slow its slow my grief its bean a yr now 

never let any 1 tell u to get over it or forse u to get over it coz it willl mak u feal worse

all i no grief stinks it dose i lost my dad yea it hurtts lik mad still doseits worse wen u get peple saying or u shud be over it by now coz its easy easy for thm coz thy hav nevr lost any 1 yet

aftr my dad died 2012 a lot mor death folrd evn ths yr frm th big c to all sorts 

i got a look at som old fotos iv nevr sean berfore today a lot of peple i new ear on thm a lot of thm hav died frm th big c yea som smoket or drank hevy or ate unhelthyy or ate to helty 

sory if im sayng wong words

jo

Comment by Angela Denny on June 19, 2013 at 1:53pm
Thank you, Anna. After five months, most family members and friends don't want to hear about it any longer. I'm hoping that soon I will feel at least a small amount of healing. Thank you for listening and responding.
Comment by anna l. on June 19, 2013 at 11:06am

Angela, for sure it is normal!  I was in a sort of shock for a few months after my husband died just a year after our son.  At three months after I was beginning to hit a bottom and stayed there for a long while.  Everyone grieves differently and I believe we all have to give ourselves permission to just be, and not try to compare ourselves to others.  No one loved your parents in exactly the same way you did so no one will grieve their passing in the same way.  If you start to have very depressive thoughts then maybe it is time to look outside, in your real life for a person to talk to about it.  Your doctor, local pastor, or hospice will be able to steer you in the right direction there. 

 

Comment by Angela Denny on June 19, 2013 at 9:07am
Thank you for your caring response to my earlier post. I want to know if it is normal to be feeling so depressed and grief stricken after five months. There are days I do not even have the energy or desire to shower and every day finds me crying so hard for hours that I literally have a hard time breathing. I am normally a strong person...but this double loss within days of each other feels like it is more than I can bear! Thank you for taking the time to listen. It helps me feel a little less alone.
Comment by Kim Phillips on June 18, 2013 at 10:31pm

Angela, I am so so sorry.  I lost my best friend and soul mate a year ago and I still cry every day and I still am having trouble moving on.  I think we all grieve at our own pace.  It has been such a short time for you.  Don't be hard on yourself. 

Comment by Jeanne Potter on June 18, 2013 at 6:41pm

Angela I am very sorry for your loss. It is not unusual to cry often after any loss of someone so close. I still cry over losing my husband and it is almost 2 1/2 years. What I think is so comforting in your story is all that you learned from your mother before she passed. She knew she was going and she knew your dad was. You did not know that so how did she  It has to be a wonderful feeling to know for sure that they are together and continuing on their journey together still. Yes you will grieve but try to take solace that they are together and that is not always the case. My mom lived 18 years after my dad died suddenly. I know she prayed everyday she was with him and now she finally is. Try to find some comfort in the secret your mother let you in on. Take care Jeanne

Comment by Angela Denny on June 18, 2013 at 2:44pm
My mother survived breast cancer twice in her 50's, colon cancer at the age of 70 and was diagnosed last June with pancreatic cancer. Since her prognosis wasn't good, she and my father moved to my home so I could care for her. She lived another seven months. Near the end, about two weeks before she passed, she kept telling us that the angels wanted her to get on the plane. She was firm; however, in telling us that she was going to wait for the next plane. When I questioned her on why she would wait for the next flight, she said it was because my father would be on the next plane. The night before she died, she told me her flight would be arriving the next morning. She told me she was ready and had even packed a few things for my dad because he would be on the next flight. True to her words, she did pass away the next morning. Two days after her funeral, my father collapsed, was rushed to the hospital and died shortly afterwards. He was indeed on the next plane...just as mom had predicted. This double (and partially unexpected) loss has been devasting. It has been five months since they passed and yet, I still can hardly function. I spend hours each day crying so hard that I can hardly breathe. Is it normal to still be so deep in grief after five months? I'm at a loss as to how to move on. My heart feels as if it will never feel joy again. I am so very tired of crying.
 

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Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 19
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
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dream moon JO B updated their profile
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Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

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