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Comment by Laurie on March 7, 2015 at 7:16pm

I can't tell you how much this forum helped me when my husband passed away. I know how hard it is to hear that things will get better. On Friday it will be two years since Wayne passed from pancreatic cancer. For a full year I just wanted to die. But it has, with the help of friends and family gotten better. You need to move forward and pray for the day when you'll see each other again.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 7, 2015 at 6:41pm

Hello Donna,

So sorry to hear about your loss. Your husband was so young! It's just not fair. Losing a loved is devastating no matter what, but when the loved one is so young, the death seems even more cruel and senseless. I can relate to you. I lost my darling husband to lung cancer 7 months ago, and next Sunday he would have turned 50. I am finding it very difficult to cope. 

You are in my thoughts and prayers. May you gradually come to a point in life where the pain dulls some and the happy memories of your husband bring you happiness. Peace to your grieving heart.

Hugs, Trina

Comment by Shirley on March 7, 2015 at 5:57pm

Donna...Wanted to say hello to you today. Can relate to your post as I lost my hubby 11 months ago.  It seems like ten years today. Cancer is one of  the worst diseases  we have ever had to contend with. It is cruel and nothing can seem to control it.  Have to admit that God has been my Strength and Comfort these past months. Please hold on to you memories and take each day as it is given to you.  Your life will slowly appear one day and  we know everything is going to okay.  Life will be worth living again. Our loved one's Spirit will always be around us, and the good times you had will soon bring a smile to your face. Going to send a prayer to help you through this trying time and keep in touch if you want to.

Comment by Donna M Dowling-Hall on March 7, 2015 at 1:53pm

I lost my 42 year old husband to sinus cancer on Feb 12 2015.  He was diagnosed originally in April 2013.  The tumor was removed and only radiation was used to treat it.  By Feb 2014 it was back.  Biopsy done March 2014 to confirm and on 95% of the tumor could be removed.  By May it was in his right lung and Lymph nodes and possibly his liver.  A PET scan was never done at that time.  His tumors responded to Chemo until the Chemo started to take his hearing.  We switched treatment centers and the tumors started responding and end of November were told they were shrinking.  Scans done again at the end of January and on Feb 3rd we were told there is nothing more they can do and could not give us a "timeframe" by the 12th he was gone.  We have no children, my family lives an hour away.  His parents (he was an only child) live 4 hours away.  I feel so alone. 

Comment by Fran on March 2, 2015 at 2:08pm

Debbie and Shirley, I have found that sometimes family just doesn't understand how lost we feel. They don't know what to do for us or what to say...AND GOD knows we don't want to hear "just get over it!" I don't hear from my sisters unless I contact them...I hear more often from my husband's family! I guess unless you've been thru it......

Comment by Shirley on March 2, 2015 at 10:03am

Debbie...Just now read your post and wanted to say I am going through the same thing. My hubby passed 10 months ago and have not heard anything from any of his family in Washington State. There are nephews, nieces, a sister -in-law and friends but not one of them can call or send an e-mail either.  He had a daughter in Michigan and a daughter in Mesa Arizona. Makes me wonder if they were all expecting something of value from him and it did not happen. I am not going to let it bother me too much and wait and see what happens . Do not think you have done anything wrong. Some people seem to not care when some one in the family dies anymore. Will keep you in my prayers, okay?

Comment by Debbie on March 2, 2015 at 7:07am

I am reading all your posts. I'm am truly sorry for all of your losses. It is 8 months since my husband died, and it still feels like yesterday. I need to ask a question I want to know if it's me or not. Since my family and friends live all about 1 to 2 hours away no one has been to see me and my boys, my brother, my husbands sisters and even my husbands father, my mother is in Florida so I can't be to upset with her it's been a snowy winter. I am so hurt I am all alone. No one gets it, I look on Facebook and see my family and friends are going out having a good time while I sit here and rot. I think they all should come to me. What do I do or what do I say. If I open my mouth it won't be pretty. What do I do. Please help thank you

Comment by Shirley on March 1, 2015 at 9:47pm

Fran...I can relate with you tonight. Today marked the tenth month that my hubby passed.  Has been a slow  process for me and I can say the pain has ceased a small bit.  Reality is telling me to take each day as it comes.  Our loss will be with us always, but we have to accept that.  Saying prayers for all who have lost a loved one and lets all keep in touch here for each other.. Blessing for all.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 1, 2015 at 7:44pm

Dear Fran,

My heart goes out to you. Your grief is still too raw, it's only been 4 months. Just hang in there and take one day at a time and know there are others who understand your pain.

Comment by Fran on March 1, 2015 at 7:22pm

March 6 will be 4 months since Bill died.

This past Friday I attended the funeral of the husband of a coworker and friend. She had come to Bill's funeral so there was no way I could NOT go to her husbands...Fortunately I had the support of other coworkers/friends who knew it would be as difficult for me as it would for her. We just hugged for a while. I told her I really hadn't wanted her to have to join "the club". I offered her any help, or an ear...everyone said how strong she looked/seemed. But, I know first-hand about seeming strong...It's smoke and mirrors....

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