Comment

Comment by Neil Moir on June 6, 2010 at 8:49pm

Hi all. I am still numb from the shock and speed of losing my wife to cancer on the 11th of may this year..she was just diagnosed on the 1st of may so the set of shocks from cancer to terminal to death in 11 days. Finally having time at home to feel the hole in my life as we were together 24 years is somehow surreal as I can't imagine her not being here. Sorry for the jumbled thoughts but my mind is still reeling.... Talk to you later

Comment by Suzanne Ballard on May 24, 2010 at 3:07pm

Ian, so very very sorry for your loss. I lost my Dave back in March and I feel like I am living in Purgatory. Everybody keeps saying that it will get easier but most of what people say to you are well-meaning but awkward attempts to console you. Those of here on this forum are in or have been in the place where you are now and we really do understand how you feel. Pour your heart out here, shout, scream cuss, cry, whatever you need. We are here for you. The people on this board have helped me thru some of my worst days and I hope that you find the same to be true for you.
Namaste, Ian. Love and Light.

Comment by Jan Duvenage on May 24, 2010 at 12:38pm

Hi, i am completely new to this. I lost my beautifull wife to Pancreatic cancer on the 19th of April this year. We were very close and she had allways lead a full life as an entertainer and were allways the life of the part where ever she performed. She was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in May 2008, and was told she had 6 months at the most left to live. We as a family accepted it and made our peace, in early 2009 (February) she was told they had misdiagnosed her and that the biopsies they took were benign. We were over the moon with this news and for the rest of 2009 we led normal a normal life but she lived with constant pain and this was ascribed to the operation wound the scar tissue healing. On Boxing day 26 December 2009 i had to rush her to the hospital as she was in unbearbale pain and this is weher everything started all over again. In january she was diagnosed with stage 3 Pancreatic cancer and our lives were devestated, we had such high hopes and had plans to emigrate to the UK, all the boxes were packed and the removal was on it's way. Beginning of March she was in hospital again and came out just to go back in again on the 7th of April...during these lats 2 weeks emotions ran high and especially so on the Saturday and Sunday just before she passed away. I cried my heart out on both these days as i saw her slipping away and yet i still clung to hope, wishing her to get better. When we were phoned the monday morning just after 5 to be told she had passed away, it felt like my life had come to an end. I still find it hard to accept she is gone and as i am typing this my eyes are filled with tears and my heart feels like it is clenched in a tight grip.
I don't or won't accept she is gone and even though life carries on there is just so much that reminds me of her. Where to from here?

Comment by Erika M on May 18, 2010 at 10:50pm

Hello. I am new here. I lost my grandfather, whom I was very close to, to small cell lung cancer 2 months ago. He meant the world to me and literally watching day by day as he died was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Sometimes it feels as though it was just yesterday. Sometimes it feels as if it's been years. Other times, it feels as if it never even happened. I had always looked up to him as a child and continued to do so throughout my teen years. He was a talented musician. And Walt Disney World was his favorite place on earth. And it was even better when he got to take us along. Although he didn't always fully express it, he had the biggest heart of us all. I don't think that I'll ever truly get over his death, nor do I believe that anyone ever does. He will always be in my heart along with the many memories. Prior to his death, I suffered from and still am suffering from depression. I have been depressed for about a year and a half and with his death, I feel more out of control than ever before. When he first passed, I hardly grieved because my mum and I went to stay with my gram. My mum had been staying there for months helping take care of him. But I felt like that with all that my gram and mum went through, I had to be strong for them. Two months later and I am basically just now starting to really grieve. The past few weeks have been especially hard as memories flash through my mind. From Disney and sunsets and music, to the funeral. We all knew it was coming, but that didn't make the hit any less hard. What I could really use now though, is for someone to come up to me, give me a big hug, and say 'It's okay to cry.' This is something that's hard for me because I am a very "keep my emotions all to myself" kind of person.

Comment by Kirstine Rushing on May 9, 2010 at 7:14pm

Lilly, I would just give her some time. Its so hard not to shut people out. I did this to my own husband. Its like you just want to hide from the world sometimes. I would just give her some time/space and send her nice cards in the mail so she knows you are there when she is ready.....

Comment by Lilly pizer on May 9, 2010 at 10:37am

My ex-mother in law has lost both sons and just lost her husband approx 1 month ago. I know everyone grieves in their own way, but I kind of feel like she is shutting me out. I don't want to pry my way in, but I want her to know that I am here for her. She has 1 daughter that lives near by and I suppose is giving her a lot of support, I have sent a couple of cards and she has called once when she knew I was at work and left a message saying she just doesnt feel like talking which I totally respect. What should I do next, I have just been waiting for her to contact me...because I dont want to impose...I'm not sure what I should do if anything.... any suggestions?

Comment by Suzanne Ballard on May 8, 2010 at 9:30pm

There is so much sadness and grief expressed here on these forums that it is sometimes makes me sadder. But tonight, as I have for the last several nights, been looking at the photos posted here and it suddenly occurred to me that there is also an incredible amount of love and joy here. It is evident in the pictures that have been posted here. We want others to know our loved ones...what they were like, how they were kind, funny, handsome or beautiful and when I looked at these photos tonight I saw all the love. It was beautiful and it lifted me up.

Comment by Kirstine Rushing on May 7, 2010 at 3:18pm

Becky, I lost my mom to lung cancer as well. She never smoked and out of the blue got a bad back ache. She was 55 so we figured she was just getting older or maybe had fibromyalgia, but it was lung cancer....stage 4. Its normally not caught until its incurable. Its the number 1 killer of both men and women in the U.S. Horrible diesease! I am so sorry for your loss and I will keep you in my prayers. Email me if you want to talk more kirstinerushing@hotmail.com I just lost my mom on Jan 22, so its rough!

Comment by Becky Petrie-Hamilton on May 6, 2010 at 9:44pm

I'm new on here and I'm not sur exactly what to say --there are so many emotions swirling around me right now. One minute I'm mad as hell and then the next I'm crying. My heart hurts so bad at times I think I'm having a heart attack. I lost my soul mate to lung cancer 3 weeks ago. John and I were married 5/2/1969. Our marriage ended in divorce 4 yrs and one baby later. He went his way and I mine. But we kept in touch through the years. He remarried first and then I did. I was married to a wonderful christian man for 27 years,Larry, we put his children (4 girls) and mine (1 boy) together as a family. Larry would even talk to John when He would call. Larry was a great dad to my son. I lost Larry in 2006 to esophgel and stomach cancer. I loved him very much and had a good life. His death was hard but we had 3 years to come to terms with the cancer. With John it was so different - I nerver stopped loving John. I had been IN LOVE with him since I was 18 yrs old. We had a son together and had kept in touch -- He came on a visit in Sept.2009 and It was like we had never been apart. we were in love again and both of us knew it. He decided to move from N.Y. to Missouri to be here with me. He moved here in Oct. and we were extremely happy. Both of us felt like teenagers again.In Jan he got sick and was in the hospital-we thought he had pneumonia. and that's when they found spots on his lungs- they did a biopsey the end of Jan and when we went back for the results drs. told us it was small cell cancer and he had 6 months to a year. He decided not to go through any treatment as it would only give him "maybe" 6 more months. We decided to remarry on our anniversary, May2. on April 12 John passed away. I feel very cheated, we were so looking forward to our "golden years" together. I fell confused, forsaken, angry, extremely sad,lost and depressed all at once. The pain or hurt I feel on the loss of John is so more intense.than it was with Larry. I want to understand the "WHY" even though I know in my head I 'm not to question God's reasons but my heart wants an anwser. I feel sick in my soul and I cry at the drop of a hat, Ijust feel like a robot doing want I have to. sometime the flood of tears just won't stop.

Comment by Suzanne Ballard on May 5, 2010 at 9:21pm

It is your grief and yours alone. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel or how to deal...just do what you have to do for yourself.

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