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Comment by Michael Thompson on April 30, 2016 at 4:00am

The more I grieve, and try to show the world around me a difference face, "what choice do I have" as just one person suffering,  ?, the more I realise just how deeply alone all those who mourn the death of their husband or wife are.  Even if all the people on this grief site were in a large room together, knowing each of us is in the same situation, we would all feel isolated and alone.

I have no religion or belief in God to support me, in fact I have always had an open mind when it comes to the subject of a higher authority, however I do have a very strong believe in the science of evolution, and that we have in-fact come from the sea, and that our supposed 100 years of life, is but just a split second in time in the scheme of things.

I would be interested in reading what others think. ?

Comment by Susan on April 29, 2016 at 1:44pm

I am new here. I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer on March 5th after almost 4 years since his diagnosis. He fought a good fight and had 2.5 years in remission. I'm doing fairly well but would like to connect to other people who've lost their spouses. There's an emptiness in my life that doesn't go away. I'm getting tired of going places as one person alone and not being able to turn to my spouse to enjoy sharing a knowing "look" or comment at something interesting or beautiful or funny. When I say "alone" I don't mean there aren't other people...I mean I'm without a partner. There are other people around, just no spouse or partner of my own. No special person like my husband to share the moment with.

Are you tired of this missing piece of life yet? If not, what are you tired of? What else do you miss?

Comment by Shirley on April 27, 2016 at 10:19pm

Want to say "Thanks" to  Trina Mamoon for your wonderful comment.  Also wanted to say my Faith has brought me this far and  will continue being there for me always.Was raised in the Eastern Mountains of Kentucky and my Daddy was a Coal Miner....Life is beautiful for each of us....Blessings and prayers for all who are now and have been through the process of  losing a loved one.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on April 27, 2016 at 9:33pm

Hello Shirley,

My heart goes out to you. I can totally relate to how emotional and painful it must to be facing this anniversary. It's nice that you posed this tribute to your beloved husband.

It's gray that you continue to find comfort in your faith. Hang in there and I hold you in my thoughts and prayers today.

In sympathy, Trina

Comment by Shirley on April 26, 2016 at 11:22pm

Good evening everybody, Wanted to come on tonight and post a tribute to the husband I lost to Cancer on the 29th of April 2014.  He first had cancer of the prostrate in 2000, had radiation treatments and seed implants,  then Cancer started in the right lung area and that was the second bout he had, he then had radiation & Chemo, said it was in remission,  moved forward a couple years and the cancer appeared the second time in the right lung.  Only five radiation at that time because he was told it was not helping..  In early March of 2014 the cancer had jumped in to the brain and then was a stage 4, Three weeks later the Cancer had jumped into the spine and when second week of April 2014 he lost all functions of his mind, body and extreminities. It hurt because there was nothing that we could for him . Dementia was gaining also, but he fought all the way till he passed home around 4:20 AM on April 2014. In two days he will be gone 2 years and must say the pain and confusion  with his health and having  Hospice of the Valley helping me at home,  I praised GOD for taking him home and out of all the misery he had suffered . It has been a hectic 2 years for me, but I have slowly moved forward  and Thank my GOD for being beside me all the way. He is missed sure, but I know He is Resting High On That Mountain and no pain, no  medicines, no memory problems, no crying, no starving and is happy in the presence of JESUS CHRIST.  We will see each other in the sweet by and by and there will not be any more good byes after that. Was taught all my life that we all have a circle of life and we will move around that circle until it connects together for ever.  Have moved on and now having a life to live and making progress of being alone....Prayers for each of you here that can relate with my story and will say may GOD bring you Blessings and make each day go slowly and help you make it through the months ahead....We can not question what  Plan God made for us, because HE is our Creator, Savior and Comforter.....Blessing to all of you......Prayers for each of you who have lost a loved one to death and Cancer..............Shirley

Comment by Jennifer on April 26, 2016 at 10:28pm

My husband passed away on April 8, 2016 due to esophageal cancer after years of serious medical issues for the past 10 years. Now, I am at a loss as to how to cope, redesign a new life, etc. For myself and more I.portantly our 4 young daughters.

Comment by Jean on April 15, 2016 at 12:06am

My friends daughter went to the hospital 4 1/2 weeks ago with what they thought was acid reflux. Well now she is in hospice with only days or weeks to live. She is not even 40 years old. I have known the whole family for many years and stayed in contact. They live in a different state than me and have for many years. Should I go visit or not? The family and friends that live nearby should have the most time with her and the family also. This loss is going to affect her mother and I wonder if I should go comfort her while her daughter is saying goodbye to her many friends? This is just a nightmare.

Comment by Michael Thompson on March 27, 2016 at 4:33am

Hi everybody, my wife passed in September 2014 of bowel cancer, we were married for 22 years, I miss the marital support and rapport we shared, just like any other married couple.  I wrote two articles to my local paper shortly after my wife passed, the first was a tribute to her and I wanted to draw attention to what the left behind husband or wife goes through emotionally and mentally, and then some months later I wrote an update.  If anybody would like to read my articles, please write to the following email address and I will forward the articles one at a time, here is my email address, michaelthompson533@btinternet.com

Regards

Michael

Comment by Shirley on March 27, 2016 at 12:50am

Going to say a few word regarding the message by Bill Smith prior to mine for Trina.Going to say I agree with a lot of the words in your post.When we lose our love one to death.we have to understand our life is still very much alive. We all could have a little bit of happiness. and not think hopeless for the rest of the time GOD allows us here on Earth. The world did not end and if two people could meet, maybe at a group  who have lost their spouse, chat for a bit, have a cup of coffee together it could bring them closer and even click. you both would find a  little bit of happiness, and would your wife/hubby you had to let go home would want that for the two of you. Know my hubby would smile if I connected with a nice guy that was going through the same ordeal and we could be a couple and find some  happiness together....God does not want His children to live alone and be miserable...So wait for a time, meet others and see what happens.Might be worth at least trying.  GOD's Blessing to all of us who have lost our spouse ....Move forward slowly and be happy again.

Comment by Shirley on March 27, 2016 at 12:30am

Would like to say a few words on behalf of the post by Trina Mamoon. Can relate to your experience with you Joseph.  My hubby passed April 29 2014, at home, with Hospice of the Valley, my son and myself doing the care giving. He was hefty, friendly type of a person, would start a conversation with complete strangers and end up friend. He had five different areas of Cancer when he passed. Watching the pain, confusion as to why, all the treatments and medicines, the body  dwindling to a mere shadow, was harder on us than him.  Thanked God for taking him home out of all the misery,  Miss him and am waiting till we meet again in the near future. Will not have to say good bye after that.  So I am holding on to my strength and moving forward slowly....  Asking GOD to give you Blessings daily and let you move forward slowly too.  

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