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Comment by michael sandoval on January 14, 2011 at 8:57pm

So after six weeks since my last dr visit, tomorrow I finally get another 45 minutes to talk about how I'm feeling. This is only thing I have that I look forward to. After a year, nothing sounds fun. I have nothing that I look forward to. I get to tell her how sad I have been and how much I have been crying. Somehow it makes me feel better, even tho I break down everytime I get to my car and drive away from the drs office.

Comment by michael sandoval on January 14, 2011 at 9:51am

Hi Shawna , I'm there with ya. Denise comes to be with me at night although I cannot perceive her or feel her. A pyshic friend of hers told me denise told her so. I'm sure your love comes to you too. Take care and talk to you soon

Comment by Judy Kemp on January 14, 2011 at 8:35am

Its been a while since i was last here. My heart and soul hurts so much missing my husband when he died he took my reason for living with him. I keep hearing people tell me things would get better they havent still hurting and wanting him wanting my life back instead all i have is memories of how things use to be. They make me laugh and cry but at night in my bed i wuld give anything to feels his arms around me holding me telling me that it was just a bad dream but its not i wake up crying everyday because hes not there. Friends stop calling and stopping by they think that if they give me time to myself i will snap out of it god i wish i could the doctor is giving me meds for depression now i feel a little better but still have trouble sleeping and i wake up at night thinking i heard him calling for i get up looking for him the cry myself back to sleep god what i wouldnt give to be with him one more time, to feel him next to me i miss him so much my life is torn upside down dont think it will ever be the same again.

Comment by Shawna Shuler on January 14, 2011 at 8:12am

Its been awhile since Ive written, I dont even know what day it is I feel like Im just going on in a daze.  At times I feel like its me but not me doing things and saying things and in the end most of the time I just feel guilty.  It has now been 2 months since I lost the love of my life to lung cancer and every day is harder than the next.  I really dont talk to many people and the ones I do talk to hardly come around since his death which makes it harder.  I am still hardly sleeping and when I do my dreams are all kinds of crazy.  The only thing keeping me going are my 2 kids and even then its hard to look at them cause they remind me so much of him.  I wish I knew what to do but without Jerry I am so lost I cant even think straight...all I keep hearing is it will get better....yeah I'll believe it when it happens

Comment by Beverly Rogers on January 13, 2011 at 9:46pm

It has been 6 months since I lost my husband of 42 years to the effects of radiation for treatment of lung cancer.  Everyone keeps saying things will get better as time goes along.  I cry everyday and the loneliness is almost unbearable.  The thing I have learned about cancer is it is a disease that affects the entire family.  I am a 3 1/2 year survivor of breast cancer and am very thankful for each day.  I never imagined I would be so alone in this world.

Comment by michael sandoval on January 13, 2011 at 8:17pm

Hi. Sorry I haven't written more. After one year I am still very sad and depressed. It is worse now because I want to talk to someone all the time and I have no but my therapist who I see only once a month. I do not feel comfortable talking to friends and family, especially after one year. I cry all the time. Many times a day. Other than my dr. This webpage is all I have.

Comment by sheila kerr on January 13, 2011 at 6:14pm

I will write and talk you

Comment by Jeannie Porter on January 13, 2011 at 6:06pm

no one writes..why did somw one tell me to come here?

Comment by Jeannie Porter on January 10, 2011 at 10:47pm

I lost my life partner 10/15/01 and I am sure I am walking around dead..but then I could at least see her. How about a do over..Like jax!!I  i am afraid of my own thoughts.There are not enough seditives to stop them. if I yell for her to come see somthing one more time.....I keep trying to find somthing that smells like her.But I am a clean freak so I had just done the mass laundry before taking her to the hosp.Expecting to bring her home..We were to do her bucket list in 3 days,she was gone in 8..............I have our..really her puppy to hang onto..i want to die everytime he runs to see if at last "moms" home...I am not at all certain I can get through this"oh it gets better" in about 5yrs...5yrs????

Comment by Deborah Purtee on January 8, 2011 at 11:20pm

I lost the love of my life to pancreatic cancer on October 21, 2010. We did everything together. I still cry at the drop of a hat and coming home to the empty house is just awful. We were married 21 of the 23 years we were together. We could finish each others sentences and thoughts. I refuse to take medication. I know I have to go on. We have 6 kids, 8 grandkids, 2 great grandkids ( 1 of which arrived 12/23/10). Having a job to force myself to get up and go to helps a lot. I am going to try to keep active with the grandkids. Anyone with suggestions on helping us to cope would be greatly appreciated.

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