Comment

Comment by Michael Thompson on May 5, 2016 at 3:29pm

I have a question.  Why does grief and grieving cause nausea ?

Comment by Michael Thompson on May 5, 2016 at 3:02pm

Hi everybody. Throughout the 22 years of my marriage to a great and lovely lady, we had our ups and downs, and sometimes we went to bed angry with each other and we had sleepless nights.  What grief has done for me has made me introverted, im constantly thinking of how I feel ?, and nights times are the worst.  Where before when my wife was around, if I may put it like that ?, my wife and I had marital rapport. 

Comment by Shirley on May 5, 2016 at 12:53pm

Susan  P...Have you thought about going to grief groups?  When my hubby passed in April 2014, I started going to the group meetings at Hospice of the Valley and that helped a lot.... Everyone there have the same grief, hurt and pain you do and they become friends to help each other.....Just wanted to mention this. Blessings for you my friend .

Comment by Susan P on May 2, 2016 at 8:44pm

I'm also new here and like Susan Szoke I lost my husband Steve to pancreatic cancer.  They found the tumor on June 26, 2014 and he passed on June 30, 2015.  At first I was doing OK.  What I'm finding myself doing is living that last year over again.  I get up and think where were we on this day last year, how was Steve doing.  He did so well at first, he was in a Study for a new chemo treatment that worked well for 8-9 months.  Then he began to decline, slowly at first, rapidly in May and  June.  I didn't cry a lot while he was alive, I was concentrated on taking care of him.  Now as I think about what was going on and knowing what lies ahead I find myself wanting to cry all the time.  A year ago I was scared, but now I feel like the reality is hitting me, both what Steve endured and that he is gone for good.  I don't know what I'm going to do in June.  I also find it hard to talk to anyone about this, when anyone asks me how I'm doing I say "good", "fine" if I'm having a bad day I say "OK".  I can be sobbing on the way to work then act as if everything is good, then cry on the way home.  I can't cry in front of people, no one had seen me crying, even when Steve first passed.  Sometimes I wish I could just open up and tell someone every thing I feel, and get a long hug.

Comment by Susan on May 1, 2016 at 11:40am

Michael Thompson, I have to agree with you that we are all spiritual beings and caring about others is part of who we are for most of us. I'm glad you had 22+ years with your Angel...that's a long time to make memories to treasure. You were very fortunate. I had 42+ years with my husband and certainly many of them were very good ones. If we focus on those good memories and not our loss I think it helps to bring a smile and a good feeling to us rather than sad feelings. Naturally that is very dependent on where we are in our journey of grieving. 

So we are 2 people out of a roomful who would not be isolated and lonely, unable to reach out to our fellow man who is grieving also. I believe there would be more people who would reach out to others, also. Many have discovered one secret to living a balanced and happy life is to reach out to others, sharing their time and talents and in giving of themselves they learn and grow and feel a certain satisfaction. For the Christian it's serving and caring for the body of Christ, the church, which is it's people. 

Comment by Michael Thompson on May 1, 2016 at 3:52am

Susan Szoke, if we were all in a room, I would listen to you and care about you as well, because in fact a person doesnt have to believe in God or any higher authority, to care about others, because we are all spiritual beings.  My wife was an Angel in every aspect, and this is not a cliche, she was far too good for me, but she still said yes when I asked her to marry me in 1991, we were married in 1992.  My wife believed in God, and she was a non practicing Catholic, she used to say to me that a person doesnt have to be in church to pray.  My wife was as good as they come, decent, kind, and non judgmental.  We were married 22 years and now im empty, and lost, and I look after our little Yorkie as best I can.  P.S.  I love the quiet......And I miss the rapport my wife and I shared.

Comment by Susan on April 30, 2016 at 7:43pm

Michael Thompson, if all the people from this grief site were in a room, I could still care about you and listen to you tell me your story about your wife and how wonderful your life was before you lost her. I can still care about you and your pain in missing her and desire that that pain lessen for you. I would not have to feel isolated and alone because I'm not either of those things.

Are there private messages on this site? Would you like to tell me about your loved one? I'm assuming you were married but I don't really know. What was something she did that was special to you? That makes you smile even today when you think of her? I'm ready to listen if you're ready to talk.

Sue

Comment by Susan on April 30, 2016 at 7:27pm

Thank you for your encouraging words, Shirley. Michael Thompson, it's good to hear you are open to new ideas. I know that I am very secure and at peace because I'm never really alone due to my relationship with God. I wasn't sure if I could say that on this site. It appears that I can. He is my constant companion and my strength. So, while I miss John, my husband, I do have a different kind of Companion. While John had many faults and shortcomings my other companion does not. But neither can take the place of the other. I'm also grateful to friends, neighbors and family who are helpful each in their different ways. I actually like to be alone and in a quiet house with just me and the Lord. I don't turn on anything to make noise...I like the quiet. I hear the Lord best and do my best thinking in the quiet. 

Should anyone think there is something wrong with themselves because they can't tolerate the quiet, let me say that my husband was verbally and emotionally abusive for the last 8 years of his life so naturally I rejoice now in peace and quiet. He had dementia for most of that period and I chose to honor my marriage vows. I also did a lot of grieving during that period and so have less to do now since his physical death. We each have different circumstances, don't we? Some similarities and some differences and we are each unique individuals.

Comment by Linda Engberg on April 30, 2016 at 11:12am

I lost my Husband to colon cancer 3 years and life is not any better and it never will be until I join him in death. The sooner the better.

Comment by Shirley on April 30, 2016 at 9:54am

Wanted to say hello to Susan Szoke....Can relate to your post and will say I am sorry for the loss of your hubby. Have gone through the same ordeal and can say that my God has brought me through safely. Yesterday was the 2nd year since my hubby  took his final journey and the time has gone by rather fast . He suffered so much and had so many health problems , that I thanked GOD for taking him home. Each day that passes it will be a little bit better for you. Take each day and each step  slowly and keep moving forward. Just don't give up...Will send prayers for you and keep posting here.  It does help......Have a good day........

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 17
• 18
• 19
• 20
• 21
• …
• 209
• Next ›
• Page