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Comment by Cynthia Horacek on January 25, 2012 at 11:23am

Hi, Ron.  I don't know when your loss occurred, but yes, what you are experiencing is so completely normal. And it really doesn't matter "when" you lost your love; I have found the littlest thing would trigger me - in the shower, in the car, walking around the house... the supermarket - anywhere, anytime.  It's just all part of the process.  I know that sounds like a placating remark, but it's true.  I've always thought of grief as a process - but now I think it is an entity all unto itself; and it just does what it wants to do whenever it wants to do it.  This might be a year to have someone else do your taxes.  Don always did ours; he was a CPA. Now I have to hire someone to do them because I don't even know where to begin, even though I'm sure mine alone are so simple I could easily do them myself if I could just get my stuff together; and it's been over a year since he died.  My dad died a few weeks ago; my mom is 86 and has early Alzheimer's, but for her, too, one never knows when she'll be triggered and cry, and then she apologizes for crying! I've lost 5 people I love in the past year - including beginning to lose my mom to this terrible disease, Alzheimer's, because it's like losing her while she's still here.  Anyway, my sympathies.  Just do what you can and don't worry about the rest right now.  It really does ease with time.  I can't say it get's better, and I can't speak for anyone but myself, but one night around the year anniversary of Don's death, I heard him say "I'm gone, and you can't change that, it doesn't do any good to worry about something you can't change."  And I swear, I felt something dark lift off of me.  I still miss him terribly, and I still cannot see myself with anyone else, ever, but knowing he would have said that somehow helped me.  We all have our own "process", in our own time.  Take all the time you need, and know that all of us are here for you.  And yes, it is hard to do anything with a broken heart, so give yourself a break and be easy on yourself.

Comment by Laura Salefski on January 25, 2012 at 11:15am

I was at the Orthpedic surgeon yesterday and was asked what caused my husbands death. I told the Bree it was Melanoma. Her reply, that's just skin cancer!! I was soooo mad. The health care personelle should be educated enough that they won't make stupid utterances. Then she couldn't figure out why I started crying. MELANOMA is not JUST skin cancer.

Comment by Ron on January 25, 2012 at 11:12am

I have heard everyone is different in thier grieving.That may be true but my hurt never stops. I have yet to have an easy day. I started to do taxes yesterday and every time the question comes up is this Rons, Jeans, or joint i start to cry. We always sat at the desk and did them together. Now it is all i can do just to set here. and look at all the paper work i have to do.  It is hard to do anything with a broken heart. 

Comment by Laura Salefski on January 25, 2012 at 11:08am

I think it is very normal to wonder why was your mother taken and not some other person who lived in a nursing home. I was at the hospital last night a saw a man wearing "Jon's" Besrs jacket. I wanted to scream at him. He should ne wear that same coat. It is silly but we do it. I have floowedca guy through the mall because from behind he looks like Jon. Pretty unrealistic, but I want to see him so bad that it happens.

Comment by K.T on January 25, 2012 at 5:05am

Hi guys,

Thought I was coping a bit better last night. But woke up at 5am sat up in bed, screaming my head off (I know, I sound crazy right?) When I woke up I was completely shaking and sweaty, petrified. I can't remember if I was having nightmares, but I was (as usual) remembering awful moments in my Mum's last few months. I try and switch it off before I sleep but can't seem to clear my mind. I think the screaming was my body's way of telling me I can't cope any more :/

Comment by michael sandoval on January 24, 2012 at 6:06pm

I miss you Baby

Comment by michael sandoval on January 24, 2012 at 6:05pm

They told us Denise's cancer was gastroentitis.  boy were they wrong.  It was stage 4 colon cancer.  And it took them over a month of tests to figure it out.  Another doctor told us that her original doctor should be sued for the mistake.  Denise's family was looking into a lawsuit, but i don't think it went anywhere.  Cancer sucks, but God is good.

Comment by mercy on January 24, 2012 at 2:29pm

Thanks very much Sue. You are also a great inspiration to me. Amid all your sadness, you still find a way to comfort us. God Bless.

Mercy.

Comment by mercy on January 24, 2012 at 2:27pm

Thanks so much Anna. The issue was resolved yesterday evening, we had been in prayer about and I thank God that He came through for us.

Mercy.

Comment by joni on January 24, 2012 at 12:45pm

thank you all for your kind words and support...went to a grief support group this am...but somedays nothing seems to help...just hanging on and beleiving God for strength...hugs and blessings to all

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