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Comment by Jodie Johnson on March 20, 2012 at 7:35pm

I don't know if anyone got this, but I lost my mom to breast cancer on Christmas morning of 2011. It's been very difficult for me. I still want to pick up the phone and call her! I still can't believe she's not here. She was so strong and fought so hard! I loved her strength for the 4 years she battled this, but the last two months of her life were the hardest. I never knew when I was gonna get the inevitable call. It had to be x mas morn. I miss her dearly. Still can't believe she's not here.

Comment by michael sandoval on March 20, 2012 at 6:16pm

It's been almost 2 1/2 years since my Denise went to be with the Lord.  I am still having a difficult time with the loneliness and the sadness.  I have been in therapy since she passed away and it is the only thing that helps me.  I cannot imagine life without therapy.  I cry almost everyday and this site still helps me remember I am not alone in this journey of recovery.  God bless you all.

Love,

MIKE

Comment by joni on March 18, 2012 at 2:57pm

hey guys...feeling the same as all the posts below:( all i can offer is hugs and prayers to all...much love, joni

Comment by G. on March 16, 2012 at 4:01pm

It's a sunny day here and I started doing some stuff but then I just got overwhelmed and feeling so down. I started three times to write to someone to tell them how I am feeling then erased them because I knew or I think I know that the person at the other end will probably not want to hear about it....I just feel like nothing will ever be the same. Like I'm just playing a waiting game and I hate it! I feel that im wasting so much time! But I can't shake this! How do I or any of us here crawl out of the darkness and into the light.

Comment by Ron on March 16, 2012 at 2:54pm

We are all pretty much in this same stinking boat. About all we can hope for is when we leave here God has a better place for us.

Comment by michael sandoval on March 16, 2012 at 2:22pm

I told my therapist that I don't feel better even after a year, I've just learned to deal with it better.  and he asked, "isn't that getting better?"  and i thought for a while and said, "no, it's just learning to deal, i'm still feeling the same."  

Comment by Barbara Sutton on March 16, 2012 at 2:02pm

Michael & Ron....Amen is all I can say.

Comment by Ron on March 16, 2012 at 1:52pm

Mike i live that same shit day in and day out. I was doing somethng while on a ladder yesterday and was crying so much i had to quit and go in the house. If  you want, you can believe that bull shit about what i hear a lot. Qoute It gets better with time unqoute. I don't care what anyone says. It does not get better.All you do is put up a front and lie to people and say you are fine just get them to shut up.

Comment by michael sandoval on March 16, 2012 at 12:46pm

it's only 10:45am and it has been a horrible morning.  Been having a flashback for the last 30 minutes.  reliving and consumed with thoughts of Denise.  Crying alot and feeling angry at times.  Missing her so much.  It will be three years ago tomorrow that Denise first went to the Hospital and was told it may be cancer.  6 months later she left her body and went back to the Spiritual world to be with the Lord.  I miss you so much baby!   It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. t's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. t's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. 

Comment by Shawna Shuler on March 14, 2012 at 7:50am

Hi Barbara,  Thank you for your comment yeah I sit home almost everyday and night once in awhile I see my family and barely answer my phone for that only social life i also have as well is work and its a seasonal job so just now starting to do that again.  I guess I should do the same just stop talkin bout Jerry except for on here if the people on here had known him they would see why even after a year I still am the way I am he was such a great person, daddy, fiance and best friend I know in time I wont talk bout him as much just to the kids and I'll move on but that time is a long ways away from now.  ONly way I know how to grieve is read my posts on facebook from when he was alive about things we did and look at his pictures and talk to him in my head and outloud to his pictures when im alone.  And I will keep in mind what you said about forgiving them and their lives moving on but ours standing still.  You take care and I will be on here more

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