Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Shirley on November 8, 2014 at 2:46pm

I know how you feel.  Until someone goes through the same ordeal they can not truthfully say they know how it feels to lose a loved one..  Held my husband in my arms in the  late evening on April 28 of this year. I prayed with  and for him, I cried  and prayed more and cried more.  Told him everything was going to be alright and  that God was with us all the way. About 12:30 AM he calmed down and I walked into our bedroom to try to get some sleep. ( Had him at home with Hospice of the Valley) and he was in the living room resting in a very comfortable hospital bed). My son was with us that night and was with my husband just before he took his last breath. He passed into the Arms of Jesus at 4:15 AM  April 29 2014. It has now been almost seven months and  the memories return in my thinking daily.  Could I have done more?  Did I fail  him by leaving the room when I did ? Do not think there was anything else that  I could have done to ease the misery he went through.. I have accepted his leaving me behind. Know in my heart that  his pain, cravings, sufferings, and confusions are no longer ..  He is free from all troubles and heartaches . How beautiful Heaven Must be.  Will reunite with him, my family members and friends when I take my Journey to Heaven.  GOD Bless and keep each of you, in HIS Loving Arms,..as you continue with your grieving today.

Permalink Reply by sandra on November 16, 2014 at 9:27pm

Louraniah,

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words. 

Sandra

Permalink Reply by Priscilla on December 26, 2014 at 10:17pm

I lost my brother 7 days after he was found to have a mass in his chest, 5 days after we learned it was testicular cancer which has a very high cure rate. He seemed healthy, and then so utterly sick in a matter of days. I had seen him about 4 weeks before for first time in a year. We talked all the time but distance kept us from physically seeing each other. He had been trying to lose weight and was happy to have me see how successful he'd been. But my first thought when I saw him was "what is wrong with him?" I work in health care and I knew he had not just lost weight, he was cachexic. And it was from the cancer. But how could that be, so I did not say anything. Deep down I know that 4 weeks probably would not have changed the outcome but it is hard knowing the chemo takes about 3-4 weeks to start working and if I had said something then, maybe he would be here now. The whole experience was surreal and the flashbacks to that week in the hospital are so overwhelming sometimes. The guilt I feel for not being able to fix my brother is too much some days. But I have been letting my personal experience benefit the patients I care for when I can give. I did not want this gift of knowing what others go through on an intimate level, but I am trying to pay the kindness my family received forward as much as I can. That is the only way I have found to be able to healthily grieve this loss.

Permalink Reply by Bela on July 29, 2015 at 4:53am

My deepest sympathies to all. The pain is unbearable when losing someone one loves ever so deeply. I feel I could have done things differently. The flashbacks are terrifying. I have no friends that understand or care. My immediate family try to help. Sometimes its so hard to carry on when you feel so alone in this dark cell. Hardest thing to bear is knowing my Mum suffered so badly for all those years. But I feel my Mum lives in my heart and I live my life for her. I love you Mum, always my treasure. May all of you find peace and may your journeys be hopeful.