Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Cynthia Horacek on August 18, 2011 at 3:16pm

Mercy - in a word, YES!  Antidepressants won't take away your sadness or your grief or your feelings; they will make them easier to cope with!  And if you still have suicidal feelings, talk to your doctor.  Severe postpartum depression is biochemical and antidepressants definitely help with that.  But it's been found that antidepressants by themselves are not as effective as they are when combined with regular, weekly (minimum once a week) psychotherapy.  And Psychotherapy is more effective in severe depression when combined with antidepressants!  I am a therapist; a lot of people fight taking medication because they see it as being "weak;" but if you were diabetic, you'd take insulin, wouldn't you? Patients I've had find out how much better they feel when they take the medications, and how much easier to deal with their issues that they are surprised.  But... I would caution you only to go to a good psychiatrist for medication, not your "family doctor."  A psychiatrist doesn't do anything else but deal with psychotropic meds, and he/she knows how to titrate them, which ones are best for your situation, etc.  A family doctor tends to just give you whatever the drug reps left for them as samples.  It may take some time to find the right medication and the right dose, so you have to try to be patient, and you have to TALK to the doctor, and let him/her know what is helping and what isn't.  

I'm glad you are thinking about this - they will help. But like I said, be patient. As for referrals to a psychiatrist - don't just point to one in the phone book and go to someone random.  Ask your family dr. for a name, or friends.  If I knew where you lived, I might even know someone around there.  Good luck.  Hang in there. And good for you for taking care of yourself!

 

Permalink Reply by Donna Schlatter on August 18, 2011 at 3:41pm

Mercy!  Taking your life is NEVER EVER the answer.  NEVER.  There are many safe and invaluable antidepressants out there.  Like Cynthia said, they don't take AWAY the sadness....they just take the edge off and help you think and deal more clearly and more efficiently. I have taken Zoloft for many many years.  I get complete bloodwork taken every year to ensure these meds aren't screwing up any other organs..and thank God all is good!  Right now you are not thinking sensibly because of all the sadness you are having to deal with.  You should make an appt to meet with a therapist who will determine what meds might help you.  Your daughter no doubt wants a happy mommy but she also wants her mommy to feel good and love herself.  Good luck to you and always know we are here to listen....

Permalink Reply by anna l. on August 18, 2011 at 3:53pm

 have taken antidepressants in the past for issues related to childhood sexual abuse that came up when I had to testify in court related to the past abuse and abuser. I was crying all the time, had no attention span, I was a danger forgetting to turn off stove elements, etc, and I was angry all the time. I took the antidepressant paxil but had to stop as it made me way to sleepy. I went on effexor with good results and not so much drowsiness. It seems to be a personal thing, one works better for someone than another. Now, my doctor also gave me a referral to a therapist at the same time as he gave me the perscription which I thanked him for after the fact. I do not think just taking the pills would have done their job if I had not connected with a good therapist as well. I would suggest you not just take the pills but get personal support to talk through your sadness as well. If you are thinking about self harm, you need to make a doctors appointment and have a good old sit down talk about what is going on. You deserve to be ok. Hugs of understanding on many levels......

btw, when I finished work with the therapist, I was also able to stop the pills and my brain chemistry was and has stayed stable.

Permalink Reply by Arielle on August 18, 2011 at 4:02pm

hi mercy. i cannot imagine what you are going through. i also lost my brother, almost a year ago, and cannot fathom coping with any other traumatic experiences or losses.

my brother's death was very shocking and quick, only three months between diagnosis and when he passed. he was extremely sick, and in pain every minute of every day. watching him suffer and deteriorate was just indescribably horrible and i still have flashbacks.

about two months after my therapist suggested i might get some use out of medication and suggested i see a psychiatrist. he put me on Celexa for depression. Unfortunately I had a very bad reaction within a day, felt like I was having a complete nervous breakdown. It was very scary. But he was a terrible doctor, I couldn't even get in touch with him when I started having this bad reaction.

After that I was scared to try anything else. But about six months after my brother's death I started having severe anxiety. I also have a young son and it was becoming impossible to take care of him. I became filled with rage at the smallest thing, yelling all the time, snapping at him. I wasn't sleeping. I was having  flashbacks of my brother and the terrible things we saw him go through, and I coulodn't stop thinking about all the things we didn't say to each other, all the things he would miss out on, especially watching his boys grow up. It turned into a constant state of panic and anxiety. It was really scare and I thought I was never going to come out of it. I finally tried my sister's psychiatrist and she basically said I was suffering from PTSD and panic disorder and that it was important to get me out of the cycle of anxiety I was stuck on. She put me on Klonopin for anxiety and Prozac for depression. Since my sister was already taking Prozac without any negative side effects the doctor said most likely I would be ok too (since we are genetically similar!). I have to say taking these medications have truly made a world of difference.

Obviously nothing can take away the pain and sadness. But you have to be able to go on and see that there are still reasons to live. After a couple of monhths of taking the Klonopin regularly for anxiety I now take it only once in a while as needed. The only drawback I've had with the Prozac is sometimes I can't cry when I feel I want to. But the doctor is going to slightly adjust my dosage down and feels that will make a difference. I want to be able to cry when I need to. But my anger is way more manageable. I am able to take care of my son and myself better. The obsessive thoughts of my brother feel more under control. I can think of him and certain things and actually smile, only sometimes but it's better than only ever breaking down when I think of him.

At the end of the day, grief is something you have to go through. You can't get around it. You can't avoid it. You have to feel what you feel, talk about it, be with it, get help when you need it even if it makes taking pills for a while. I never thought I'd take antidepressants but I knew I wasn't managing on my own, despite having friends and family supporting me and seeing a therapist every week. It just wasn't enough.

I recommend finding a great psychiatrist, one who will actually talk to you a bit and really figure out what is going on and what medication is right for you. You don't want someone like the guy I went to the first time, who sat with me for 15 minutes then sent me on my way with a prescription, never to be heard from again.

Keep us posted. Stay strong. You can get through this.

Permalink Reply by Rachel Lynn Schuler on August 18, 2011 at 5:11pm

mercy, im glad your seeking help, first off you need to see your doctor....the antidepressant im on, but for a different reason, is Lexapro, and it works for me, although not lately.....i was  very happy and more content when i took that, and its a mild antidepressant, the other ones are real strong.....they can be more harm than good....you have a right to be depressed, just hang in there, ive been in your shoes too.....

Permalink Reply by Rachel Lynn Schuler on August 18, 2011 at 5:13pm

mercy, just remember if you think about suicide, who you are hurting other than yourself....its not the answer, you should try and seek therapy....i know you can feel better, i just know you can hun....please consider it

Permalink Reply by Rachel Lynn Schuler on August 18, 2011 at 5:21pm

i love you mercy, hang in....maybe if you know how many people love you, it can get you on the way to feeling better, you are a great person, dont forget it....its hard

Permalink Reply by Meggie Meg on August 18, 2011 at 11:05pm

Medication doesn't take away sadness. It gets your brain to a place where you can deal. Then you can seek therapy and talk to someone about what's going on. Just medicating will never solve any issue or problem. You need lots of teaching from someone who knows the human psyche on a professional level and can help you grow and change. It takes a commitment to get yourself out of this sadness hole. Which is what your loved ones would want. There's no way anyone who loves you would want you to hurt. And I'm sure your family members, especially your mom, loved you. As well, your daughter needs you to get better. I hope this helps. I just would never want anyone to think that just medication will get rid of the feeling of grief she has to deal with. It takes a good therapist and a medication regimen to reach the ultimate trifecta of normalcy. It's the only way that truly lasts. Otherwise, you'll end up right back here at this place in a few months. I know from experience.

Permalink Reply by Rachel Lynn Schuler on August 19, 2011 at 5:00am

medication does help though....its  helped me....i wouldnt shun it, but your right, therapy is imperative, pills are not the only way

Permalink Reply by mercy on August 20, 2011 at 10:16am

I'm so thankful for all the responses; I can't begin to tell you how much your messages of support and love mean to me. Knowing you are hear to listen and respond without judging means a lot. Most of you have suggested a good therapist. I'll definitely check into going to a therapist. My employer has a network of therapsist that they recommend but I'm weary of going to someone without a good referral. Cynthia; I'm in Nashville and would really appreciate if you would recommend someone here.

I had the day off yesterday and was busy for the most part so I didn't dwell too much on my grief. Later I prepared a big meal (enough for five meals) for my friends kids, she's in the hospital and her young kids don't have anyone to cook for them. It felt good to do something for a friend in need. I hope everyone is doing well.

God Bless you all.