Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Byron Eugene Jordan on July 22, 2010 at 9:37pm

To Suzanne
WoW!! I don't believe your spirit died. It will always live and it is with your husband now. And the same your husband lives in your spirit. Well I am no means in your boat, I never been married. So how can I know what it is like to lose a spouse I don't. But I know what it is like to lose a family mom, dad and brother. Well I think my mom would tell you the miss will always be there and a day may never go by you want think about your husband. "LOVE"
But you must go on and live not just for you. But for your lost loved one and family. And yes I would cringe also if someone told me your new at this and it takes time. I say BULL. We all deal with grief in different ways. Forget the time because I don't care if you live 1000 years your going to miss and think about your Husband. "LOVE" And the part in saying to you Oh your new at this. Oh I might say somethin else. But not going there. Regardless we all take different paths to deal with a loss. But this is a great start by talking to people that have had to deal with a loss. I just joined today.
You know I cannot wait either for god to call me home. Because I want to be with my best friend Jesus then mom dad & My Brother. And My Black Labrador dog Name Bear. And Jesus and his father. But the lord wants us to live we are his children. He does know the pain we suffer. And our suffer brings us closer to him. I can assure you your husband is closer to you than you will ever know. Pray hard fight the fight pray more fight somemore for our lord Jesus. If all willing and depends. Maybe the lord will give you a time to hear your husband speak to you. I have heard my mom a few times. And I heard her loud and clear before my dad passed away.
But I can say your Husband is not far from you and the same for Heaven. Very close by indeed. I will pray for you. And please listen close to your heart. And when you need to be heard you know this is the place to go. You will be in my deep prayers.

Permalink Reply by Sue Waxman on July 18, 2011 at 7:34am

My mother comes to me in my dreams and I wake up calling out her name. My faith in the Lord is something I am working on. I ave never had a religious background until I witnesssed my own mother find hers within the past 5 years. She passed away 3 weeks ago today from that murderer cancer. She had tremendous faith that she was going home to be with her Lord. I feel so very alone since her death. I have put myself in Gods hands because I just can't do it alone anymore. I have only myself and my pets. Mom was my darling best friend. I feel empty. I cry. I want to believe everything you have written. How do I find my faith? How do I believe what you believe? Sue

Permalink Reply by Jan Duvenage on July 23, 2010 at 3:14am

Hi Suzanne, believe in your faith and be strong in your heart and belief that your husband and soulmate only wants what is good for you. I have also just passed the three month mark where the love of my life and soulmate left me, she was not ready to go as we never got to say our farewells. Our bedroom still has all her clothes,perfumes and everything else in it as i can't stand the thought of removing any of it! All i have left of her that is a physical reminder of her is the pillow i took her when she was in hospital, everyday i pick it up and i can still smell her on it, some may think it strange but i don't really give a damn as only if you have had your soul ripped from your body forcefully can you understand the pain and anguish that we have to live with everyday. I pray everyday just for a sign that she is ok and have not received any, which leaves me even more anguished. I loved her more than anything in this mortal life and as you feels there is nothing more this life has to offer, yet there is days that i wake up with a positive sense of life so i have to believe on some deeper spiritual sense she is letting me know that she is ok. There is nothing i can say that will make it any easier on you Suzanne because i know it doesn't work, but take a moment everyday just to allocate to him and let the emotions out cry and talk be angry with him because he left you, these are just emotions so let it all come out. The amazing thing about a soul is that it can't die as our mortal selfs do,and my wife and your husband's souls are now free to soar experiencing no pain and happy as God intended us to be. Our time on earth is to make an impression on the people around us and by golly my wife left an impression on all around her, she impressed me so much i married her and endured years of abuse...lol..just kidding she was the most wonderfull thing in creation and i thank God everyday for the gift of knowing her that He gave me. Keep on loving him with all your heart, he will never go away and soon you will start living life again secure in the knowledge that he is with you everyday just as God is.
Good luck Suzanne and God be with you.

Permalink Reply by Suzanne on July 23, 2010 at 1:04pm

Dear Jan,
You made me smile, but your words also made me cry. Your message of encouragement and kind words did comfort me. I know that you understand and it is much appreciated. You are in my prayers as well.
God bless,
Suzanne

Permalink Reply by Eunice Selewski on February 26, 2011 at 6:42am

Sometimes, I feel the same way.  I keep trying to take it one day at a time and look for the positive in each day.  I worry that I want to go be with my husband, James.  There is a cardinal that started to fly into the bathroom window last year after James was diagnosed with liver cancer.  I know it's because the bird is thinking it's another bird when he sees his reflection and is protecting his nest.  However, I also know that some people believe that is a sign that someone will die.  While James was alive and the bird was banging on the window, I kept saying, "I know, I know!"  Now when the bird hits the window and I think he's telling me it's my turn next, I say "I really don't care!  Whatever!"  I am not concerned about suicide because when I was young I was depressed and tried to kill myself unsuccessfully many times.  So I know that I will go when it's my time.  I keep wondering what the heck I'm doing here without him.  Why do I have to be here?  He was the best part of my life (I told him that the last week he was here). 

 

Yes, we are all sad and cry a lot!  It's where we are in this life right now.  I try to be strong, but I find myself crying when I don't want to cry.  I wake up with swollen eyes and hope no one notices at work.  I hate to have people feel sorry for me.  I was blessed with 18 wonderful years with the sweetest man and I still feel his presence sometimes.  I have a lot to be thankful for and positive about.  All I know is ... it's one day at a time and we'll find our way through it somehow.  I have no idea how!

Permalink Reply by Cynthia Horacek on March 13, 2011 at 11:26pm

Dear Suzanne -

My heart aches for you as it does for me.  Yesterday was 4 months since my husband died and I am having many of the same experiences.  I am leaving tomorrow to visit my daughter and her fiance in NYC, and help her find a wedding dress, visit venues, etc.  Knowing my husband won't be there to first of all travel with me, and to be at the wedding makes this bittersweet.  At least he was able to meet her fiancee, but didn't really get to know him very well before he died.  My future son in law is as good as gold, and I am thrilled my daughter found someone who so adores her and loves her so much.  My other daughter is  having her second son in June, and that is also a heartbreak, but my husband will never know this second grandchild.  

But the sun does rise each day, and I open the blinds to let it shine in, and I make myself walk our little dog that we adopted only one month before my husband died.  He does make me smile, he makes me get out of bed each day and he makes me go for walks.  And I am so thankful for my friends and family who won't leave me alone or let me be forgotten.  And if they don't call me, I call them.  

This is the hardest walk we will every take, and I do think we have to take it alone, each of us in our own way.  Please know that your children and your grandchildren still need you, and think of what your husband would want you to be doing; what kind of example do you want your family to see when it comes to dealing with this terribly unfair loss?  I don't know if this is helpful; please know that my intention is to help.  Maybe you can find a support group or a good therapist or simply someone to listen while you cry and rant and rave and do whatever you need to do.  I don't know what is worse - the meltdowns when I can't stop crying and just want to die, or this insidious depression that just won't seem to lift. 

Please take care of yourself; it sounds like there are people who do need you!

Cynthia

Permalink Reply by Suzanne on March 14, 2011 at 12:57pm

Thank you all for trying to help.

God bless each of you.

Suzanne

Permalink Reply by Sue Waxman on July 18, 2011 at 7:25am

Amen...I am just waiting to leave this world myself. I send you my love and support. Sue