Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Hello all. I lost my mom to breast cancer in 2011, and my brother to colon cancer in 2012. I also lost my grandpa to esophageal cancer in 1994, and my ex-father-in-law, who I was close to at one time, to brain cancer in between my grandma and mama's deaths (he had survived mouth and lung cancer previously). I hate cancer!
I have a sort of dilemma with so much cancer in the family, and my statistics.
My mom's cancer metastasized to behind her eye and the colon. The secondary colon cancer is what killed her. The oncologist told me at the time of her diagnosis, I should be tested for the BRCA gene, which I have put off.
When my brother got sick, the same oncologist was also his doctor, and he strongly suggested I be tested for the genes that can cause colon cancer, especially the FAP gene. He said if I had the FAP gene, I have a 90-some percent chance of developing colon cancer at some point in my life. He believes that given my brother's young age (33) and my mother's secondary cancer, that the FAP may very well be in the family. As this oncologist, also a hematologist, saw me when I was hospitalized for a month with ischemic colitis, also knew I have risk factors such as polyps and cell changes from the colitis and other colon issues, he stressed that I must be tested for FAP, along with BRCA genes.
Here's my struggle... Everyone who knows the situation I'm faced with has a strong opinion one way or the other:
1) Of course be tested, so you know what you're dealing with, can be screened as often as necessary, and always be aware. Not knowing and questioning will always be a black cloud in your mind.
2) No, don't get tested, because what kind of a life will you live if you're always worried about cancer and when it may show up. Knowing will always be a black cloud in your mind.
So I've hesitated. I feel that I should because I think, knowing myself, I would actually be more inclined to take better care of myself if I know. But those who believe #2 often make me feel that perhaps I WOULDN'T want to know. Then again, I sure as heck do NOT want to find myself in the same boat as my brother - we had absolutely no idea (he was diagnosed with terminal, given 6 weeks, lived 5). I would think I'd be more inclined to seek treatment sooner, rather than worry that I'm blowing anything out of proportion.
I just wanted to see if anybody out there has been faced with the same sort of decision, and what did you do? How do you feel about your choice? I'm stuck.
Thanks!
Hi!!!
I go back and forth like this about getting cancer insurance!!!! But my sister and I did go to a genetic counsellor. Mom had appendix cancer (which metastasized of course, and ended up in lungs and everywhere else), her sister had breast cancer, and their mom had both breast and bladder cancer. SO we figured what the heck. They didn't take blood from us, after a 2 hour long session we decided to go with the mathematics.
Which are that we are at about twice the risk of the normal population for developing cancer, breast or otherwise. The normal population is at a 1% risk (then how come I know so many people with it? Seriously...if I counted the people in my life and how many are fighting or lost or won, it has to be at least 25% if not higher!) and we sit at about a 2% risk.
But our situation is different. We talked about the bca genes, and her take on it was that both grandma and aunt had bc post menopause, and that we would talk about being tested if they had had it before menopause. She also said that those are the two genetic stands that we know about and that there are so many different variations and that we are still learning about genetics and cancer.
Anyway- I say this being the only sister who hasn't gotten cancer insurance.....I'd just make an appointment with the counsellor, and go from there. They are brilliant and they will help decide about testing and give you peace of mind, and that counts for alot when we are swimming in cancer city. XOXOXOXOXOOXOX
Thanks Nicholle, sorry it's taken me this long to reply. You gave me a lot to think about! I think I do want to sit down with a counsellor and see what they think, instead of focusing on what others (without the expertise) think.
It sure does seem like a numbers game, and I agree that I also know so many who've had cancer, not even including my own blood relatives. Definitely need peace of mind, given the possibilities.
Thanks again!
iv lost a lot of famly 2 big c i hav
im 2 mush of a cowerd 2 get tested im lk wot i dont no will not hrt me
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