Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by nadia on June 5, 2012 at 10:07am

hope some comfort for you..having a bad time missing my sister... I always do but the loneliness some days is unbearable...so empty...

Permalink Reply by kylie anne on June 10, 2012 at 9:12am

hi i have learnt to keep my saddness to myself yetzy ,the pain is terrible & no one but u knows how you feel. i have learnt that my pain for my sister i will always feel i have seen doctors they listen but they cant take away how you feel, i still hate thinking she is not here with me, my life has changed forever & i will always miss her & love her & my heart will always be broken in a way that will never be fixed & sometimes i even hate her a little for leaving me alone.how are you feeling yetzy? do you have anyone you can talk to?i hope you find a place where you can express everything as even though its hard to cry & let yourself feel your pain its what you should do.i hope things are getting better for you in your life & remember you are imporant so dont forget you.

Permalink Reply by Yetzy L. Diaz on June 20, 2012 at 8:08am

Well i actually don't have no one to talk to because no one knows how i feel or they would just say let go and let her rest in peace.  But who are they to say that.  She was my only sister and I really miss her and NO i can't let go.  like you say i keep my pain to myself. I stay on my feet because i have 2 beautiful kids and my sister left me 3 beautiful  kids that i love very much and that they need me too.  Like today i just feel so down.  It is my sisters birthday, she was suppose to be 36, she just left so early.  :(

Permalink Reply by nadia on June 21, 2012 at 10:53am

how can you let go... I think sometimes people think just because we are grown ups and with young families the pain gets dumb faster.. well no... I have my lil kids and they keep me going for sure but the pain and emptiness and loneliness without my sister is unbearable.. there are time I wish I could sleep and not wake up if not for kids and my parents... I feel too alone without her... her birthday was zoo hard too.. you know what kills me is that my kids now being 5 will never remember fully how much she adored them.. she more like their mum too than auntie... she truly adored them.. and my lil newborn girl born a week after her birthday will never meet her... When I am more upbeat I see my lil girls as gift form her cause I know she always wanted a lil girl.. but when only darker moments I get despaired that i cannot share this with her.. I cannot speak to friends much I feel they all moved on...I too want her back she left too early she had just turned 36 ...

Permalink Reply by kylie anne on June 21, 2012 at 10:17pm

hi Yetzy & Nadia,its 9 months today i havent see my sister or heard her voice its all true no one knows how we feel but you two write how i feel so i could be wrong. i know its hard Nadia to talk about your sister with the children as they dont fully understand but that is the way they will know her & remember  her because of you..sometimes i think what if i died what would i want my sister to do & i try to do that.my sister was a beautiful girl inside & out she was only 23 so she didnt get to have children so you are very lucky you have gifts like children to remember her by..i have heaps of pictures & songs & of course memories that will never be taken away from me like she was..sometimes i sit & think is this really my life how do i find my way without her im not alone but without her i feel alone..

Permalink Reply by nadia on June 27, 2012 at 10:43am

Dear Kylie,

I get flashbacks and random moments and things can trigger flows of tears still.. My sister has no kids but she dotted on mine.. She would give up anything for them andI feel so bad that they will not remember her... my boys are 5 now and they have not seen her since they were 3.5... so the memories fade.. she would spent hours playing with indulging them... cuddling feeding them anything...I even feel jealous that boys will only remember their other auntie (from my partner) who never really did that much for them... I am so unreasonable I know but I cannot help myself.. I am missing her so much and I thing people do not know how hard it is without your sister,, for me is like I have lost  my anchor in life.. I always though we grow old together and  now I feel utterly alone.. my partner cannot fill this gap at the slightest... my sister was my shining star my soulmate she knew what it feels to be me and know to do and say the right things... for all it worths at the beginning / first few months after she ... ( I can't even say it) I kept having signs that she is still around.. it was beautiful and sad... I have been in dark hole though after the few months in such despair, no faith that I do not even dream.. I wish Ishe could come in my dreams I long to see her.. I going back for summer (greece) where ewe spend our beautiful last summers and my heart is dead,, my eyes full of tears... I can't believe this has happened... 1 year and  1 month since the worst day of my life and I still refuse at times to accept it...she was my only sister (my younger sister) and I too like feel so ALONE... NOONE CAN EVER FILL THIS EMPTINESS.. I wish I had faith as this helps people but somehow I am so angry with God for playing this cruel joke on us... you know I spoke to her the day before on phone ( I live abroad) and we were so excited that we would spend the whole summer together.. in just 12 days I would have been with her for the full summer (we had not met for 8 months other than Skype as I live/work abroad)... I was sooooo happy that i would be with her and next morning mum calls me tell me the sad news... I am so upset with GOD he has not granted us one last summer..one more summer...I miss her sooo much... I am writing while crying .. I cannot fight those tears -..I know what you are saying on being alone.. I am so alone too.. so sorry for your sister too so young..so unfair... why are we all here.. time goes by and it is not getting any easier.. hugs to you... x

Permalink Reply by Mimi Giovanni on July 20, 2012 at 1:52pm

Kylie every world you wrote is my life. I so understand you in every way. My sister, oh my GOD i don't think there are words that can completely explain who and what she was to me. But you hit a lot of it on the head. I was drinking home the other day and i just started screaming and screaming, crying please don't leave me here with out you. Let this nightmare be over, because this is not my life, nor her's. I still feel she is here, not gone. I am not ready to say goodbye. Yesterday made 6 months, boy time just leaves you. I still have hope i will wake up and things will be back to the way it was. Sounds crazy huh, i know.

Permalink Reply by Yetzy L. Diaz on August 20, 2012 at 9:11pm

I haven't been entering for a while and I just saw what you guys have written and believe me this summer has been the worst.  Usually my sister would come over and spend the summer together.  This year it was different and christmas I don't want to imagen.  I feel like i don't have no one to talk.  No one understands me and people are like get over it.  I just can't and can't people respect that.  I miss my sister.....is all i want to screen to people.

Permalink Reply by Mimi Giovanni on August 21, 2012 at 11:19am

I haven't been up here for awhile either, but read things from time to time. Yetzy i understand so much, i miss my sister it's killing me. People do act like you should be over it by now. But i am not and wont be anytime soon. I have things going in my life i need to tell her and get her advice and i can't. Crazy i woke up out of a crazy sleep and dial her number, just hear it was disconnected. Then i woke up completely and remembered she wasn't going to answer. My heart felt like someone just crushed it over and over again. She knew me and got in a way no one will ever in this life will and i miss that. Being able to be myself and feeling judged or looked at crazy for what i am saying or feeling. everyday i want to call her and everyday it takes everything in me not to call and it if this is wrong. Because this is not my life and i am watching this never ending movie, that i am ready for it to end. So life can go back to the way it use to be.

Permalink Reply by Yetzy L. Diaz on August 23, 2012 at 4:51pm

Mimi I feel the same way and I do the same things you have been doing, the only thing is that her phone is still connect so i call and i just here her voice mail message.  Some people must think this crazy, but it comforts me in someway.  I wish I could go back to the last time I saw her and I think I would acted different or said something different. I am always thinking what if!!!! These days have been hard because her youngest daughter will be 7 and when i talk to her she tells me titi my mommy won't be here for my birthday.  It breaks my heart to hear her say that. 

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next ›
• Page