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Comment by Gabrielle on April 20, 2015 at 5:15pm

Sorry Tiffiny I just noticed I spelt your name wrong xx

Comment by Gabrielle on April 20, 2015 at 5:11pm

Hi Tiffany. I'm really sorry to hear about your brother. My sister was killed by a carbon monoxide leak in her flat. Her flatmate was found unconscious but survived and made a full recovery. I find it difficult to deal with the fact that my sister was the unlucky one who perished. Why couldn't she have been the lucky one? Or even better, why couldn't they both have survived? One family was overjoyed to have their daughter alive and recovering, and the other family (mine) was destroyed x

Comment by tiffiny on April 9, 2015 at 8:00pm

Everyone keeps telling me it gets better. I lost my little brother to a car accident Feb. 04, 2014. His accident was Feb. 2, and he was the only one in the car that didn't survive. I am lost without him, and I don't know what to do. It hurts so much that I sit in my room and cry all the time. I am lost, and I know I am. 

Comment by Keturah Turner a.k.a Kat on March 18, 2015 at 1:32pm

In September of 2014 we lost my only baby brother to dusting:( he was 29 a father of 2 sweet girls ages 6 and 4. He hid it so well none of the family knew about it until 1 week before he passed. We tried to get him help but on the night of his first apt. He never made it, because he dissapeared. We hunted and searched days for him and finally after being missing for 3 days they found him in his van with 25-30 cans of dust off empty and he had suffered a massive heart attack:( I thought after the funeral I would have some closure, but no. It's all still so surreal and he's been gone for 5 months now. We don't have all the answers and I'm so sad! It's affecting my marriage, my husband doesn't understand how I feel. This is so tough and I just am curious how does one cope with this? I will never accept it. I feel stupid too cause I didn't even know dust off was a drug:(

Comment by Gabrielle on March 2, 2015 at 4:42pm

My sister died 3 weeks ago. I can't even believe I'm writing those words. How on earth does anyone move on from grief this intense? She was 22 years old and my world. I think I'm still in shock/denial. I cry for hours at a time and am numb for hours at a time. Waking up every morning is horrific. If anyone has any words of comfort please share them with me. x

Comment by Cindy Akerley on February 27, 2015 at 5:58pm

I am totally lost due to the loss of my younger sister, I don't normally say anything or comment but I read and grieve with everyone here. We lost our mother when I was 18, we lost our father when I was 30....it has been just me and my 2 sisters for the last 23 years and we were all very close. My younger sister was diagnosed with advanced stage ovarian cancer in 2000....14 1/2 years of surgeries, 17 different chemo treatments, setback after setback, tubes,bags, oxygen, tpn pack she had to carry for sustenance. ......but my sister never lost her will or her incredible strength, she was undoubtedly the strongest person I have ever seen or heard of in my life...not only did she never once complain or feel sorry for herself, she was always there for all of us. ...always willing to help in whatever way she could and no matter how horrible she felt she always supported my kids and grandkids in their activities....her favorite phrase was "it is what it is"....about 4 yrs ago she met up with someone from way back and they hit it off, or so we thought. ..my sister and this guy were married 7/13 and we all thought they were happy.....until my sister got worse a day couldn't care for herself any more....He I guess has always been a drunk and began drinking even more heavily to "cope" with what my sister was going through...When the cancer spread everywhere, including her brain she went down hill quick....I was with her everyday and saw how he treated her....it broke my heart when she said "I didn't know, I've never been around a drunk before"....He screamed at her, humiliated her for not being able to pay bills or order her own medical supplies. ...and refused to listen to me....my sweet sister couldn't help what she was going through...all he kept talking about was his 1st wife and didn't like when I said this was not about her it's about my sister.....As sister got weaker and weaker and wasn't able to get around he would laugh at her when she fell.... (I just found this out) while he was drunk standing by her bed he told me (and this haunts me) "I thought I was going to lose her right after we were married, if I knew she was going to last this long I never would have married her....but I wanted to fulfill her dream of being married" but what makes it worse is no one believes me, no one will help me through this, I not only have to deal with the loss of my sweet little sister but the torture (both physically and mentally) I witnessed....Most just don't want to hear, or they say he didn't mean it, it was the booze...Some have said there had to be some truth in what he said and the booze brought it out.....how can I get over the anger so I can actually grieve the loss of her....

Comment by Colleen Daly on December 31, 2014 at 10:21am

I've lost quite a few people in the last few years. This includes 3 brothers and a brother-in-law that was just like a brother to me. Each died unexpectedly, young and differently. Before our hearts and minds had a chance to register one's passing, we lost another. I can tell you that the pain is still raw and never seems to lessen. We are a very close family and yet each death seems to pull some of us away from the others. I am so mad at God. I cannot accept that my parents had to bury 2 children. My mother passed ten months after two of my brother's. our only solace is that she wasn't around to bury the others. One brother was 28 and killed in his police uniform walking into a deli during a robbery. Another from a seizure which he had never had before and they cannot explain why he had this one. Another from a heart attack and then my in-law from the flu! I cry everyday. It doesn't seem to get easier. I've looked into grief counseling but don't feel I am strong enough to do that at the moment and that is why I looked for this site. Felt like there are people out there just like me and that I wouldn't feel alone. I can always turn to my family but their pain is just as severe and it hasn't really helped. I get angry at one sister because she's so strong and I don't want to because she might hide her suffering to help the rest of us. I just don't know for sure but I know she's that type. Another sister cries when she's alone. Tries not to show it to me. All are worried that I might do so something stupid. Truth is, And they don't believe me, I would love to be with the family I have lost but the ones that are still here are the ones that keep me strong as do my children. I'm not looking for answers from anyone because I don't think anyone has them. I'm just looking to grieve with those that understand. Reading the posts, I know that you all do.

Comment by Danielle McEwe on March 3, 2014 at 12:51pm

I lost my little sister. Andraya was a beautiful gift from god. We adopted her into our family whenshe was only 3 days old, and at the age of 8, it was like I got my very own living doll. Growing up, because of our age difference, we did not always see eye to eye (literally and figuratively) but I loved her with every fiber of my body because she was such a specail and unique girl. She had a rough go through her teenage years, but for the last few years, she was coming into her own, building houses with my father. When she was 16, she met a boy. He was a few years older than herself, but when we saw them together for the first time, my parents and I knew that she was done, that she had found the one that she was going to be with for the rest of her life. She was becoming a beautful and compassionate young woman and we were starting to get to know one another more. The best day of my life was on August 3, 2013 when I was my sister's maid of honour at her wedding to her long term beau. Then...a short 19 days later, my little sister was killed in a head on collision. She was only 21 years old. The other driver was 17 and was texting and driving. She got away with it with no reprocussions. Meanwhile, I have lost my gift from god, and I am so incredibly sad. I am trying to come to terms with the foreverness of the situation....that I will never see her smile in person again, and I will never hear her laugh, and I will never feel her arm around me again as I did on her wedding day when she hugged me for the photos. My heart is broken and although I have been having a lot of good days, today I feel broken and unable to cope. I am sitting at work fighting back the tears and wondering why....why her? Why did god have to take back his gift so soon? Why was she not able to live a long and happy life? I know I will never get the answers to my questions, and even if I did, it would not bring her back. I just feel so broken today. 

Comment by gramaokie on February 26, 2014 at 4:17pm

Kimber:  My therapist says that multiple losses cause grief to multiply exponentially (sp?) not decrease.  Don't allow others to dictate your process, and grieving is an on-going process.  This site and other online grief support groups (i.e. connect.legacy.com) are good and safe places to vent.  I also recommend professional grief counseling, especially if you're feeling out-of-control.  The impact of losing 3 siblins in such a short time is obviously devastating to you as it would be to anyone.  My younger brother's 4th Angel Day will be Mar 9.  Eight weeks later (May 7) will be my daddy's 4th Angel day.  So, I kind of understand multiple losses in a brief time span.  My other advice would be to treat yourself kindly.  This is a difficult path.  Istill struggle with the reality of a "new normal".  I think your feelings are appropriate.  Take good care.

Comment by Kimber on February 26, 2014 at 11:29am

New to this group  & site. I needed to be where people understand me. In 14 months I lost 3 of my siblings. I have many siblings but they were the 3 I grew up with. Now, I no longer have that special bond with any others. My heart is so broken & most seem to think after the fist passed away it should hurt less with the other 2 passing or I should be over it in a couple of days. It just don't work that way. I never know what each day is going to bring when I wake up. Am I going to be able to function> Am I better off going back to bed for the day? Is my anger going to get away from me and when am I ever going to feel normal around others. Lets not forget the fear of others passing away on me now. 

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