Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Coralee Cole on December 14, 2012 at 1:15pm

I haven't lost a sibling, but I just lost my soul mate, and in 1997 I lost a child, and I can tell you the pain is unbearable, it took me 11 years to deal with the death of my son, and then finally I found some peace, met the man of my dreams 5 months ago, and he died 12 days ago. It's sent me back into the depths of despair, the only thing getting me through is that I can feel his presence around me, and he's sending me messages through music, signs, numbers, and random "strangers" that say things to me only he would have said. Your sister is probably trying to send messages to you as well, pay attention to dreams, songs, any signs that make you think of her, at night before you go to sleep light a white candle and ask her to send you a message through your dreams. Do you meditate? It really helps, I've been able to connect with my soul mate's spirit through meditation as well. We all have to deal with grief it's inevitable, and we all get through this!

Permalink Reply by Christine Leakey on January 22, 2013 at 8:08am

I, unfortunately, know the pain of losing a sibling as well. My younger sister was murdered by her boyfriend on Dec. 20th. The pain is completely unbearable and more often than not I find myself in complete denial. I mean, I know that she is gone - I saw her lifeless body laying in her casket, but my brain and heart can't seem to be on the same page. It's hard to explain. Everyone keeps telling me that it'll hurt less as time goes on but I think it's a load of bull. I know that this pain will never lessen, I just might get better at living with it. Losing a sibling is losing a part of yourself. They are someone that you spent your entire childhood with, they are someone who knows you like no one else can, someone you told all your secrets to. I pray that I never have to know the pain of losing a child but I imagine that losing a sibling is about as close to that as anything. Have you thought about talking to a grief counselor or therapist? I have a friend who lost her twin brother to an accidental drug overdose in 2009 and she had a really hard time with it. She started seeing a therapist but not right away. I think she said she didn't seek help until almost a year afterward. She did talk with someone who also lost a sibling and it helped her until she was ready to to seek professional help. I know that I will need to seek professional help at some point but I don't think I'm there yet. If you need to talk about your sister, please feel free to contact me. Sometimes I just need to talk about my sister, I guess I feel like doing so will 'keep her alive'.

Permalink Reply by anne carlo on March 23, 2014 at 7:20pm

i lost my beautiful sister 6 weeks ago, suddenly, shockingly. i have been having an extremely difficult time... she and i were closer than close, we were always together through good bad and everything in between. i am so lost without her. i cant get past the horror of thinking that i need to find a way to live without her for the rest of my life. i dont know how to take a step in any direction. this is very very bad... 

Permalink Reply by Bridget on April 3, 2014 at 9:48pm

Ellen, Coralee, Christine, Anne, & Angela~

I am so, so sorry for your losses. There are no words...my heart goes out to each of you.

We unexpectedly lost my youngest sister last summer. Devastating. Life-altering. Rocked to the core. I found this quote shortly after she died and rediscovered it yesterday; it's just as true now as it was 9 months ago:

“My sister will die over and over again for the rest of my life. Grief is forever. It doesn't go away; it becomes a part of you, step for step, breath for breath. I will never stop grieving... because I will never stop loving her. That's just how it is. Grief and love are conjoined, you don't get one without the other. All I can do is love her, and love the world, emulate her by living with daring and spirit and joy.”

― Jandy Nelson, from "The Sky Is Everywhere"

Spreading love has been the best way I've found to work through despair and honor my love-enthusiast, peaceful-warrior little sister. Helping whoever I can, whenever I can. Reaching out to people. Love is the only light in the darkness of grief. Sending love and vibes of peace to each of you. <3

 

Permalink Reply by julia bobbitt on July 23, 2016 at 1:43pm

I love the quote you posted.I feel this way everyday.

Permalink Reply by tiffiny on April 25, 2015 at 12:56am

It is hard. I lost my only brother Feb. Of last year. I can't really give any good advice other than take it one day at a time. I am still trying to deal with him being gone, and i take iy one day at a time. There will be days that you dont feel like doing anything, and than other days they will be ok. You just have to take it one day at a time.

Permalink Reply by Cornelius Patrick on May 13, 2015 at 4:48pm

I lost my younger brother the day after Christmas last year to a sudden and massive heart attack.  Whilst we were growing up we were not that close, but the past 12 or so years we have been closer than ever and that makes it more difficult for me I think.  It is intellectually conceivable to expect to lose a sibling, but not before my parents, not this damned young.  I think one of the most heartbreaking things was hearing my father sob on the phone as he told me about my brother's passing, even though I had heard from my brother's wife a little before with the news.  It just still seems surreal even now and I just keep trying to get through one day after another.  I am starting to do a little better, partly by being a listener for my two older sisters and my brother's widow.  It is very hard for me to talk about with my family because sometimes our grief compounds on grief, and we are not great at sharing either.

I know that I will get through this but it is one of the hardest things to have to do, losing a sibling, losing a friend is terrible.  I will cease my ramble now, but know that you are not alone and you will get through the pain.

Permalink Reply by tiffiny on May 23, 2015 at 11:04pm

Hello. My name is tiffiny. I lost my only little brother Feb. 4, 2014 to a car accident. Yes grif is different for everyone. Some people like to yalk about it and others don't. I am still trying to deal with it, but this site has helped me a little. I was getting so depressed that i didn't want to be around anyone or do anything, but talking on here and reading what other people have said has helped me. I have been taking it one day at a time. The pain hasn't gone away, but it hasn't been as hard. I still cry, and stil have some days where i just want to lay in my bed. So it is hard. If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone, just write me and i will wright you back.