Who are you?  Why are you here?

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Losing a grandparent stinks, period. My jack (grandpa) was 79 years old.  4 days prior to his death he got told that for a 79 year old man he was in great shape, he worked out everyday, in fact he worked out the day before he died.  I miss him terribly and I am not looking forward to the holidays/bday without him, I have been having panic attacks and feeling anxious and so lonely since the start of the holiday season and i feel like I am going crazy.  this is my first big loss and not sure if I am handling it well.

Hello Im Nicole. Im here because i lost my grandparents within 2 years of eachother. But they were more than grandparents. they were my parents. they raised my brother and i, and in the end i stayed to help them till the end. i often feel they are simply away on vaction.

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