Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Monique Angelich on February 11, 2015 at 1:56pm

My son died at 23 due to drug mis use. I haven't gotten his toxicology report yet.  I didn't know he was using again. He was out of rehab 2 years, working hard, getting his life in order. He was healthy and beautiful.

I don't think the grief will go away. It just changes us forever.

Permalink Reply by Sandy Hendrix on February 11, 2015 at 2:54pm

I also lost my beautiful 18 year son to a heroin overdose on October 27th.  This time last year he was in rehab but even then I didn't think he would really stop. For some reason he was very curious about all types of drugs.  You are right Monique.. the grief will never go away and we are changed forever.  I am beyond heartbroken and feel like a piece of me is missing.  I'm so sorry about both of your sons, it's just terrible that they let this drug control their lives. I would have done anything to save him.  Love and hugs

Permalink Reply by Amy B. on February 11, 2015 at 3:30pm

Sandy and Monique,

    This is Amy B from the above posting. Much love to you both.

    My son passed away almost 2 years ago now. My prayer has been that God would allow me to remember all the wonderful, healthy aspects of my son's life and forget the horror of the drugs. I feel God, in His infinite mercy, has heard my prayers! I still feel as though part of my own personal spirit is missing,and the part that remains is battered. I have days when I can't fight the tears. But because I know that nothing separates us (even drug abuse) from God's love, my son is spending eternity in the glorious peace of Heaven. I don't think he'd want to come back.

   Did you get any grief counseling? I went for a few sessions, but it was so painful to work through the grief that I didn't go back. My therapist taught me guided imagery and also how to meditate, and that's been quite helpful.

   Do you have other children to help you through your grief? Are your spouses doing OK?

Big hugs to you both!

Amy B.

  

Permalink Reply by Sandy Hendrix on February 12, 2015 at 10:18am

Hi Amy B., I feel like part of me is missing also and it's a big part.  I went to 2 grief counseling sessions but the counselor did not help me at all, she just sat there and offered no advise whatsoever.  My help is being in this group and feeling the support from everybody here and knowing that all of us understand each other's pain like nobody else can.  What is guided imagery?

I live with my bf of ten years and this has been hard on him also as Randy was like a son to him and in the last few months we have lost our 2 dogs as well.  Life's been really hard lately and seeming very unfair, the last dog was really just too much, not even 2 months after Randy.

I have an older son who won't talk to me so that really hurts but I have a 21 year old daughter who is just great and this is hard on her.  My ex is very unemotional so don't really know how he is doing.  How about you? Do you have other kids?

Hugs and love... Sandy

Permalink Reply by Amy B. on February 12, 2015 at 12:56pm

http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART00468/Guided-Imagery-Therapy-Dr-Weil...

That's guided imagery. My anxiety/fear level was "over the top" after Travis died and I wanted to do anything except meds to get the anxiety under control. Guided imagery helped me to relax, maybe only for a few moments, but it's wonderful! My therapist also taught me "brainspotting" which sounds silly, but it really worked on my PTS. And prayerfully thanking God for giving me a wonderful son named Travis has helped to give me a peace.

My favorite cat died right after Travis died, so I know how you feel in regards to  that, too.

I have 2 grown daughters and 5 (6 by the end of this month!) grandchildren now. The girls miss their brother, but have little ones to fill their days with love and anticipation. So, they don't have time to ruminate as much as I do. I have a wonderful relationship with both girls and love to chat with them about our fun memories of Travis. My husband of 35 years is still dealing with grief/anger, but we have definitely been on the same page with regard to our grief.

We had not known that Travis had a problem with drugs, or even that he did them AT ALL - he always excelled academically, so I guess he must have been a "functioning" user. Thankfully, because of that, we can't blame ourselves or each other for not doing something about the drugs.

Anyway, it DOES feel good to chat with others who are experiencing such devastating emotions. Thank you for being here.

Amy  <3

Permalink Reply by Sandy Hendrix on February 12, 2015 at 10:14am

Oh Monique, it must be even harder to have not known he was using, Randy was in rehab this time last year and we had been dealing with drugs, pills, weed, not heroin (I don't think until right before the rehab) so it was a lot of stress and drama for 4 years.  It's so sad that your son was doing good and then went back to it.  I just can't understand the pull that drug has on everybody. 

Permalink Reply by Marie on February 11, 2015 at 4:48pm

My son died on Sept. 6 2014 to an accidental heroin overdose. I am so heartbroken and still cry everyday. In fact, I feel like I go through the days fighting back tears all day. I can't wait to get off work so I can let it out. I feel so guilty about not being able to save him.

This morning I was praying and visualizing him with Mother Mary. When I went to get out of the car, there was a coin on my seat from Israel. I sent him there to try to get clean in 2012...I am sure it was a sign!

Permalink Reply by Sandy Hendrix on February 11, 2015 at 5:02pm

WOW! That's amazing Marie...hugs..

Permalink Reply by Amy B. on February 11, 2015 at 8:45pm

Yes, I think it WAS a sign!  <3

Permalink Reply by S Johnson on February 9, 2017 at 1:46pm

Wow..amazing. I believe I am getting signs from my Beloved Brother who I lost December 2, 2016..I hope they keep coming.   God Bless You.