Comment

Comment by Cindy Keenly on March 14, 2010 at 4:56am

I'm new to this group. I lost my mom three days ago and my heart is breaking. This was really a blessing for her as she was trapped in a body that no longer served her. Being bedridden for a year was so hard to watch. This once vital woman depenent on someone to do everything for her. My practical mind is glad for her but my my emotional mind is missing her so much! I was her first born - of 5 children. She gave me life and I have such a void. It's so raw. I spent the last 8 days of her life with her but wasn't with her when she passed. She was such a trooper and never complained. She lived 85 years. Suffering a stroke on her 70th birthday changed everything! She told be she had a good life and had no regrets. I will miss her terribly. . .I will take this one day at a time.

Comment by Lisa Davies on February 10, 2010 at 8:16pm

I'm new to this site and this group...I lost my dad in April of 2008 he was very ill and had gone through various operations then he died of a massive heart attack...Like Andrew Tucker's comment I'm also depressed and sad even to this day and feel I'll never be able to be happy again it's like this huge hole in heart that just can't be fixed.

Comment by andrew tucker on February 2, 2010 at 7:08pm

hey guys. im also new. i lost both of my parents in a motorcycle accident. I loved them so much, but i still didnt realize exactly how much until they were taken from me. I was arguing with both of them before i went to school, and they died on their way to my 12 year old brother's track meet. that was april 7th, 2008. i still get depressed, angry, and sad today, and i dont know how i can fill the hole that they left. i feel like i can never be truly happy again.

Comment by beverly ann on January 22, 2010 at 3:00pm

hello everyone. i'm new to this group.I lost my mother 5-21-09.She was only 59.I held her hand when she took her last breath.She died in intensive care.It still so hard for me.My mother was my bestfriend.We talked on the phone atleast 3,or 4 times a day. She was always their for me. I Miss her so much. How does anyone get through this.

Comment by Eugenia Christine on January 13, 2010 at 6:55am

HI all. I'm new here.

I've lost both my parents.
My mom, 4 years ago. It happened 32 days after my wedding. The wedding was the last time I saw her, since I moved cross country, and she went back to another country where she was living. It wasn't the best ending for us either. A lot of issues we had came up during the wedding, and we were only starting to clear thing up when she died in a car accident she and my dad were in.

My dad, who's health wasn't great to begin with, and with the accident really was messed up, couldn't really care for my brother who was 14 at the time, so he moved in with us back in the States and DH and I became instant parents. There wasn't much time to deal with my mom being gone.
Two years later, my dad's health really went down hill, and my grandma couldn't care for him, so he moved back to the US and we took care of him. He was diabetic and it caused kidney failure, eventually he had to go to a nursing home and was in and out of the hospital, 7 times in less than a year. My grandmother, who raised me when I was really little and my parents were in grad school, also died during this time.

Then, during Easter, 2009, while in the Hospital because of a problem with his dialysis catheter, he contracted pneumonia and 3 days later died.

Honestly, I lost someone instantly, and I watched the other die. I don't think either is better, or prepares you any more.

I'm joining here because I keep a lot in in RL. I don't talk about it. I don't like to deal with it, but it's affecting me. This Christmas has been particularly hard. My brother graduated from HS and has moved into our grandma's house, we're empty nester's for the first time in our marriage, and there is finally time for all of this to hit me.

Everyone in my life keeps saying for me to talk about it, but it's not really possible, because no one understands. My brother and I love eachother and decided that it's best though if we don't talk about our parents. We each had very different relationships with them, and it causes too many problems. EVeryone else, either tries to relate, but can't, try to be there, but I get blank stares, or I get tears and people crying over my parents more than I do which just makes me uncomfortable. I'm not a weepy person.

Hopefully, being online here, I can reach out to people and have my release with out having to worry about all the RL dynamics.

-sorry for the novel...

Comment by Julie Dolsey-Weiss on January 5, 2010 at 1:38pm

My mom died August 17, 2009 of an apparent heart attack/heart failure. We lived together for 3 and half years so we were very close. I miss her so very much. The house is so quiet without her and all the things we did together like special tv shows and stuff are intolerable.

Mom was always there for me even when she lived in California or Milwaukee, Wi about 70 miles away. She was always a phone call away and when we lived together we had so many wonderful talks. I miss that!

They put me on medication to stablize my mood and I have had to stop taking it due to side effects and now I feel the grief full force. When I work my sweet doggie, Jordie I cry as I am walking, I cry before I go to sleep, when I drive. Its overwhelming!

Comment by Darla Fields on December 11, 2009 at 9:12am

Hello I'm new here my mom died in September of a Heart attack. She was my best friend. We talked everyday sometimes we would call eachother several times a day. We lived a couple hundred miles away from eachother but I managed to visit alot. I'm lost without her. But when she passed I though at least I still have my Dad I spent all my time at the hospital with him. He was very sick but we were hopeful. The day of my moms visitation came and he couldn't go. They had moved him to a extended care facility but he was just too weak. I visited him aftewards and he seemed ok. Sad but fine. My brothers went to visit while I helped to prepare a meal for family that was there for the funeral the next day. I received news a couple of hours later that my dad was back in the hospital. All of the family made it to the hospital and my dad passed away with the family gathered around. The next day was my moms funeral. We were grieving for both but at least we knew they were together. 3 days later we buried my dad. I'm so lost I don't know what to do without them. I'm so sad but feel like I should be strong. How do I cope with this.

Comment by Janet on December 10, 2009 at 6:32pm

I hope I am in the right place if not just let me know!

I join this site because I dont think I can talk to my family about the loss of my Grandmother ( 4-7-08 ) and my Grandfather ( 12-2-09). My grandmother and grandfather raised me and I saw them as my mother and father. I took care of them both up to the day they passed away. My grandmother passed away with out me know there was something worng. It took me off ground and I swear that day when she was layed to rest they took a big part of me. I didnt know how to deal. All I knew at the time is she want and need me to care for my grndfather. They had been togeth 61 years and he was so hurt and lost. I moved close to take care of him. 3 weeks ago he stoped and eatting and wasnt in his right mind. The Drs couldnt give me a stright answer on what was happening to him. But for 3 weeks I sat and watch him dead. Now, I feel lost and I feel mad that they are both gone. I dont know what to do. I dont what to say when my family ask me what is worng. I mean they are griefing too. I just dont know what to do next. I dont sleep, i dont want to be around people, i hate work ( its a family bussince my grandfather and grandmother started). I feel like my life was them and now there not here. So whats next for me I dont know. How do I care on?

Comment by Julie Dolsey-Weiss on November 4, 2009 at 7:58pm

I am having a hard time showing up for life. I just have no desire to do anything and it takes so... much effort. How do I go on? How do I find a reason to be happy?

Comment by Diana on October 3, 2009 at 7:48am

Yes Julie, its hard to do things. At times I just want to cover up and stay in bed. When I go to functions I see others happy and enjoying and I want to cry. I am not in their place. But I do go , Putting one foot in front of the other. Last weekend I just screamed, hoping to release all the pain. I have been told I will do that again.
i worry about so many things, and my husband is not here to say we will be ok. And Mom and Dad are gone as well. And then I cry.
Others are not the same, these three people were my safe place.
I have to create that for myself now.
I work really hard at Putting my Trust in God. Praying for His direction.
I am responsible for the effort and not the outcome.
i use lots of little saying like that during the day and I listened to a lot of Christian music. Whatever works and helps me feel better and puts me in a better place.
Be friends with your ex. Sounds like a safe place for you now.
WE all do things we regret in life. Forgive yourself. God has a plan for you.
God Bless

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