Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Meggie Meg on July 26, 2011 at 9:22pm

I lost both my parents in four years. My mom mere weeks ago. I feel as if it's twice as hard for me because I am an only child.

 

I guess that's not really much of a reply to your post. Haha! If you find a way to accept it, please let me know. I'm not there yet.

Permalink Reply by Lorin Cohen on August 10, 2011 at 12:56pm

Hi Meggie - I just lost my mom 6/1/11 and it still feels like yesterday.  It is still fresh.  I don't think it is twice as hard being an only child - I have a brother - but his relationship with my mom was strained.  My mom and I got closer when my dad passed in 2010.  But we always had a relationship.  I can't cry to my brother - I can't share memories with him.  So I am alone, as if an only child.

Permalink Reply by Danny on November 1, 2013 at 12:07pm

That is often the case that we feel like an only child.  I think Lorin it is tough when elderly parents leave us with a gap of 2 years or less.  I am basically shell shocked by everything but somehow do some things everyday.  Write to me about it if you wish.

Permalink Reply by Linda McDonnell on August 19, 2011 at 7:52pm

Meggie: I am so sorry for your loss.  I have siblings but there is such a difference in age, I feel like an only child too.  My siblings don't understand what I'm going through, I lived my entire life with my mom while my siblings went off and made lives of their own.  It's so hard coming home at night from work and there's no one here.  My life centered around my mom.  I only have one friend and that is strained.  My mom died on May 13, 2011, a friday.  Today is a friday and it's so hard.  she died at 4:45 p.m. MST.   I watched her take her last breath.  That was important to me because I wasn't there when my dad died.  My siblings answer is that I am being negative and that I need to move on.  How do they know.  They were not her care giver.  They didn't wake up in the middle of the night to make sure she was ok or still alive.  I feel so all alone.  I have had major depression issues all my life and now this on top of it, I just don't know if I can continue..

Permalink Reply by Danny on November 1, 2013 at 12:10pm

Yes Linda being physically attached makes it harder.  Forget the move on from friends or siblings for now I mean many people will tell you that but you just do what you feel right.  Even if I don't know how to continue but I think for the first 12-18 months I guess just do the routine ?

Permalink Reply by Lorin Cohen on August 10, 2011 at 12:54pm

Rachel --- I don't know if we can ever accept that they are gone - I think we always feel them in our hearts - I lost my dad 1/28/10 and then mom 6/1/11 - they were always in my life and I feel lost now.  I am going through a transition trying to understand who I am now - how to go on without having them in my life anymore.

I don't think age matters - they are our parents!!!  Simple as that and it really hurts.  Time will ease the pain - but we need to cherish the memories - and have that as a comfort??!!

 

 

Permalink Reply by Linda McDonnell on August 19, 2011 at 7:53pm

Lorin, I too am trying as well trying to understand where my life goes from here if it does.

Permalink Reply by Rachel Lynn Schuler on August 10, 2011 at 12:57pm

i totally agree with you Loren, there is an emptiness...i was going to visit mom's grave today, but thought better of it, one day....she is always with me....i just wish i had them here and their guidance

Permalink Reply by Lorin Cohen on August 10, 2011 at 1:02pm

I wish I did to - I would talk to them everyday - I am 46 and would "check in".  If you want to visit your mom - that is up to you.  my mom and dads graves are where their bodies are buried - but their love and spirit are within me - remember your mom when she was alive and well - think of her when she was smiling - I hope I am helping. 

Permalink Reply by Rachel Lynn Schuler on August 10, 2011 at 2:03pm

you are helping Lorin, and thank you :)  i do remember her smile

Permalink Reply by Bonnie Becker on December 13, 2013 at 8:28pm

If you figure that out please let me know. There is a book titled The Orphaned Adult that is supposed to help, but I couldn't make it through it without crying constantly. My parents were older too, my mom was 72 when she passed from cancer,and my dad 67 when he passed a year after her, also from cancer.  I too feel so alone. I have an older sister, but she is out of state. There isn't any other family for me, except my only little family Ive built. (husband, 2 kids) I truly understand the feeling of being alone in a room full of people. I think it's just something we will accept as our norm over time.

Permalink Reply by Danny on December 14, 2013 at 2:38am

I think having your own family helps Bonnie but it seems as though it does not mean that we don't feel this pain.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page