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Comment by Virginia G on May 30, 2018 at 11:53pm

I feel alone even when I’m with someone now.  I just want to be with her.  

Comment by Avi on May 30, 2018 at 11:40pm

Virginia, my father will be with me from next week but wife will be at her place for few months as she is expecting and delivery is due in first week of Aug.

I am going to my friend's place tonight as he asked me to come along. 

I do not want to take anything for anxiety, I will.talk to you guys or my friends here or do some other stuffs. I volunteer for an NGO which works for underprivileged kids so can do some work for the NGO.

Comment by Virginia G on May 30, 2018 at 11:33pm

Brett, I hope your dog is ok.  I used to worry about my dog all the time.

Avi, do you have anything to take for anxiety?  When is your father and wife coming to the apartment?

Comment by Avi on May 30, 2018 at 10:34pm

Last night was the first night when I was alone at my apartment and it was a nightmare. I woke up thrice with shock. 

Forgot to do basic things before sleeping but in morning I realized that slowly I will improve on it. 

Good morning all from India. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 30, 2018 at 8:33pm

My mother's name was Martha. My father's death left me pretty much unscathed. He wasn't a very good man and I didn't see him past age six. My mom got a phone call  the day that he died. She told me that he had passed but It just didn't mean too much to me. I still went to work that day. I almost felt lucky because I knew how painful losing a dad had been for some of my friends. But when my mom died, it was like losing both my mother and my father. Turns out that I didn't escape anything.

Martha, please post when you need a friend. We sure understand. Nothing is the same. Nothing will ever be the same. I can only become so happy before I remember that my mom is gone. I had my little dog (Krissy) groomed today. It made me miss my mom so much. Even when mom was sick she would make a fuss over the girls when they got groomed. She would tell them how pretty they looked and their little tails would wag and they would start running around in circles.

The groomer found a tumor on Krissy's stomach. I made an appointment with the vet for Friday. It just never ends. After your world has been shaken so badly it is so hard to feel any sense of security. Maybe it's just a growth. I hope so. I pray so.

Comment by Martha on May 30, 2018 at 7:15pm

It has been a while since I have written here. But, follow your posts. Losing my father was bad. But, when I lost my dear mother, my best friend was/ is awful.

Nothing is ever the same.

Comment by Theresa on May 30, 2018 at 7:05pm

I know everyone I called after my mom passed seemed to say "take care of yourself"  ugh, I hated hearing that.

Comment by Avi on May 30, 2018 at 6:11am

Same pinch theresa. First day in office after my mother's death but it was not so difficult as I made up my mind that my mother wanted me to excel at my work place.

I always used to call my father from my office asking how is mom, what is she having in lunch and other questions. Now I called him and only thing we can talk is to care of ourselves. Sad but true. 

Comment by Theresa on May 30, 2018 at 5:51am

I agree 100% Avi.

Comment by Avi on May 30, 2018 at 5:46am

Thanks BlueBell. Your below lines provided lot of relief

Our Mom's are at peace now and no longer suffer the pains of being in the flesh on this earth. But that knowledge does not stop us from missing them and grieving their loss

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