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Comment by Avi on June 4, 2018 at 2:37am

I have not read the book but I know there are few signs commonly experienced by lot of people. 

From those signs, the one I have experienced is seeing my mother in my dreams 2-3 times since she passed. Although I do not remember the conversation between us clearly. 

Comment by Virginia G on June 4, 2018 at 2:30am

Has anyone read the book Hello from Heaven mentioned on the “after death experiences” tab or any books like that?

The authors are not psychics or mediums, nor is it about that.  It’s about signs from loved ones.

Comment by Avi on June 3, 2018 at 6:55pm

Yes Brett

Sometime you love so much to let them go.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 3, 2018 at 1:08pm

Before my mom went on Hospice, we had some really contentious months. I always wanted to call 911 every time I felt like Co2 was building up too high. It was easy for me to dial 911. It wasn't so easy for my mom. My mom had very small veins. They would do a blood-gas treatment on my mom, and it would hurt her. I could see the look on her face as they poked around for a vein. And then they would put her on a high setting on the Bi-Pap. She would be in for a long night. If they could get enough Co2 off of her they would switch her back to just oxygen. They would monitor her for a day or two and send her home. Those trips became more and more frequent. My mom hated it. She was just worn out. Her body was worn out. I wasn't giving her any say. She would go to the hospital and be used as a pin cushion. Everything was so invasive.

People would come to visit my mom at our house but they were not always prepared for what they would see. Some days she would be fine and could laugh with friends, other days it was all she could do to keep from falling asleep in her chair because of the Co2. And that was with using a Bi-Pap every night. One friend of hers really irritated me. He came too frequently. I appreciated his intentions but visits were hard for mom. They took a lot out of her. On more than one occasion my mom would fall asleep in her chair, sometimes right in the middle of a conversation with him. He would look at me and mouth, "What's going on?" Sometimes he would call me into another room and say, "Brett, do something!" I wanted to do something. I wanted to do everything. It wasn't about me though. My mom's feelings had to be taken into consideration.

On one of his last visits he convinced me to call 911. At the hospital, it wasn't the doctor who first said the word, "Hospice." Mom was in the ER. She was asleep. Her Co2 was so high that it couldn't even be measured. The doctor told me, "We should be able to bring it down, but haven't you noticed the pattern? We get your mom strong enough to go home, and then she is back in a week. It used to be a couple of months, and then weeks. Now, she will be coming back more frequently." I said, "Is my mom a candidate for Hospice?" He said, "YES!!" He felt sorry for her. I did, too. It has to be frustrating for a doctor sometimes. They see what's going on so much better than we do. They see the extremes that we are willing to go to to keep our loved ones alive, even to the point where it's not fair to the person that we love.

At home, that Bi-Pap was my biggest weapon to keep mom alive. Once she went on Hospice I knew there would be no more 911 calls. Every time I even suspected that her Co2 was becoming elevated, I would hook her up to that machine. It was going full blast the day that she died. I finally took it off of her in the last minutes to give her some peace. After she died, that machine looked very small. It was once so important. And in a matter of minutes I knew that we had just been throwing rocks at death. I looked at that machine and thought, "Useless." There was only so much that we could do. There comes a point when we have to let them rest in peace.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 3, 2018 at 11:01am

I can understand your frustration Virginia. Patients in ICU are monitored so closely. I can't help but wonder if the ICU doctor would not have to look at your mom's medical records from that time to tell you for sure.

Comment by Janie m Snitko on June 3, 2018 at 10:23am

Everyone please realize that you are only human and you have done the best for your loved one that your knowledge allowed. It is always in God's hands.

Comment by Janie m Snitko on June 3, 2018 at 10:19am

Hi ! It will be a year on July third that I lost my mom. I talk to her everyday. She now comes to me in my dreams and reasures me of her love for me. I miss her and love her as much as the day she passed. Her passing has made me more attentive to my own mortality as I am 69. I hope to have everything prepared for my children as my mom did for me. May God bless you all and keep you healthy and happy!!

Comment by Avi on June 3, 2018 at 9:29am

Thats sad to know that the medical people working on a critical patient are unaware what happened. 

I hope you get your answers Virginia but frankly speaking I have stopped looking for answers now as the more I analyze, the more I paralyze myself.

Comment by Virginia G on June 3, 2018 at 7:43am

It’s not that I wanted her to be uncomfortable for my sake.  I am worried because I don’t know if the Bipap had been put back on, would she have gotten stronger and lived longer and been able to go back to high flow.  I think she was on 15 liters on the high flow.  That’s why I asked how high the bipap went.  When I recently talked to the ICU doctor, he said she was off and on the bipap.  I told him no, she was only on the bipap the first day or two.  So now I’m wondering if he even knew what was going on!

Comment by Avi on June 2, 2018 at 11:00pm

I agree with Brett. We sometimes become selfish because we want our Mom to be with us always. And they also get ready to live a painful life for our sake but not sure if it is worth. 

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