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Comment by Kim 330 on December 24, 2009 at 4:27pm

On August 6, 2009 my mother was brutally and senselessly murdered in her own home by two men during an apparant robbery/burglary attempt. We just sat through the preliminary hearing which was the most painful day of my life. No one should have to hear of how the woman who gave them life and loved us unconditionally left this world with 55 stab wounds, 13 blunt trauma wounds, and was strangled on top of all of that. My heart aches not only for the loss but for the act in which she was taken away, 2 weeks shy of her 59th birthday. And just weeks shy of the birth of her first GREAT Grandchild. She was so excited and oh so proud, as she was of all of her six children... and eleven grandchildren. My mother was my very Best friend who I could talk to about anything. She had a heart of gold and would give the shirt off her back to anyone in need. She will live on through all of us though, as she would have wanted it to be. For she was so proud of her children and left behind a piece of her spirit within each and every one of us which we will continue to shine brightly in her honor. Visit www.inmemoryofcindyramos.com for further information and to honor this loving woman. This is the website I have created in my mothers honor and memory. Merry Christmas to you all and may we all somehow find the strength to make it through these holidays with this pain which we all now unfortunately know to be so real. It is the support of others and forums like this that truly can help in getting each other through our tragedies. Peace be with you all.

Comment by Tania Taylor on November 29, 2009 at 3:04pm

It feels like I have no one to talk to in my family. I was the caretaker for my family since I don't work. Anytime I was needed I would fly or drive to be at their side. So when my mother got sick I was there in a heartbeat. I stayed for a month then due to my own medical problems I needed to go home for 6 weeks. Luckily I made it back to my mom 2 weeks before she passed away. Every single day we had to either be at the hospital or Chemo center. First thing every morning I was helping her get ready to be there by 7am and wouldn't leave until 3 or 4 pm. I was planning on bringing her back to Las Vegas so I could provide better care, but she always said she wanted to die on her own bed in Hawaii. The day she died the doctor told us that the tumor in her brain was gone, and that due to chemo reactions we were going to postpone any more chemo. She was supposed to get better! So that day we were so hopeful and enjoying just relaxing. That night she passed away in her sleep around 11pm. Just 1 hour after I tucked her in and said good night. I am glad she had that last day of enjoyment thinking we were finally beating this thing. Its the small things that count.

Comment by Tania Taylor on November 13, 2009 at 11:48pm

I feel so guilty. Did I do enough to take care of my mom while she was dying? My mom had 4 daughters. Two chose to act like nothing wwas wrong. My mom was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer on March 15 2009. On July 22 2009 she passed away in her sleep. When diagnosed I flew to Hawaii where she lived and stayed for a month. Then I had to go home to my husband and daughter. While home I tried to get my unemployed sisters to go back to Hawaii to help our older sister with our mother's care. They both came up with every excuse in the book. Even after I offered to pay for one of them to go. Once my mom got worse six weeks later I flew back to Hawaii. She had severe reactions to her chemo and would not eat. We tried everything. Daily blood transfusions, potassium infusions, platelets. I have a disability that makes me exhausted. So each all day trip to the hospital exhausted me. Finally on that laast day I had to take a nap. I checked on her later and said she had mild heartburn. I told her to take a tums then I went back to sleep. Turns out an hour later she passed awaay. I found her the next morning. Could I have done more? Should I have stayed with her in the room? Should I have realized her heartburn was actually her heart failing? Could I have done more. It feels so unfinished. I wish I could have sat and talked with her more. She was always so exhausted I wanted her to just rest. I wish I could just talk to her one more time.

Comment by Amber on November 7, 2009 at 7:51pm

It will almost be three years now that I've been living without my mother. The anniversary of her death is on the 10th of December....
I don't come on here much because I don't like talking about it. I joined because I knew I needed the help though.
And every day I see on my email that someone has added a comment to this page. So tonight I finally decided to come back.
My mom was never healthy. She was always sick with something. She was overweight and depressed. Her marriage was going downhill and I was a child that witnessed her parents fight 99 percent of the time. But my dad never divorced her because he knew it would hurt me and my sisters.
My mom was gone before she died. She was always drugged up on something. She'd become addicted. All her pains were cured with a pill. And when those pills were mixed together, they proved to be a very deadly concotion. She died of an overdose.
I miss her so much. I'm tired of having to see the realtionship my step sister has with her mom, because I'm so jealous.
I just want my mom again. I need her to give me a hug right now.

Comment by Alison on November 5, 2009 at 4:02pm

My mother passed away from complications related to pneumonia 2 1/2 weeks ago. She suffered from lupus and had a history of heart problems and a kidney transplant, but she had been not been seriously sick for years. She went into the hospital feisty as ever and told me to go back to grad school, that she would be home soon. My aunt, who is a nurse, called me the next day and said to go back to the hospital. As soon as I got there I noticed my mom was having difficulty breathing; she was sedated and put on a ventilator within 30 minutes of my arriving. We did not get a chance to talk. She never woke up and died five days later. My parents were married almost 33 years and I am an only child (my mother was too sick to have more). The pain of reality often seems too intense to bear and I find myself crying all the time.

Comment by sistershirley on November 4, 2009 at 1:12pm

My mother passed away from leukemia, it was sudden and unexpected. I miss her dearly, and for me the hardest part was how everyone acted as if she never existed. To talk about her seemed "morbid" to others. But she will always be my mother! I started a blog called The Modern Mourner to help create new ways to mourn. www.modernmourner.com. If you have any creative ideas about how to remember, please contact me!

Comment by Saloni on November 2, 2009 at 8:59pm

I just joined this group, not sure how it all works. I just felt like I needed to find people that have gone through what I have. Its really hard to talk with friends because I'm finding they don't really understand or they get uncomfortable when I express my feelings. My mom died 6 months ago in a sudden car accident along with 3 other family members. The accident happend overseas but I was able to get there while she was still in the hospital. She hung on for 14 days touch and go the whole time. Everything happened so fast and I feel like it didn't really happend. Nothing really makes sense when do things start becoming clearer?

Comment by Angela Beaver on October 21, 2009 at 2:02am

Its been awhile sense i have written anything on here. Its been 6 months 6 days at this point sense my mom passed. I dont feel like i can go on without her. Im not happy nothing can make me happy. All i want to feel is the pain she felt before she died. I want to die with all the pain she felt. All i want to do is die to be with her. I miss her so much. I just want 1 more hour with her. I blame myself. I was not there when she needed me the most. She kept telling me not to come home that she was not planning to die soon, I got the a few days to late. Its all my falt. I should have been there.

Comment by Katie Grace on October 12, 2009 at 3:00pm

Eight weeks is not that long at all to adjust to the shock of losing your mother, especially since it probably brings up past loses that make it even more difficult to face yet another loss. My heart goes out to you and I hope that the pain starts getting easier for you to manage!

Comment by Julie Dolsey-Weiss on October 12, 2009 at 11:22am

Today it is 8 weeks since my mom died. I still am in shock and find it so hard to believe that she is gone, that she brought me into this world and now she has left me all alone. She was the last of my family. I miss her so!

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