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Comment by Monique Douglas on February 16, 2010 at 9:21pm

so it's been six months...does it ever get easier? will i ever be the person i was? so together and now so broken....bipolar now...up and down... alone in the world now...noone i know understands...

Comment by Monique Douglas on February 16, 2010 at 9:18pm

i'm crying as i type this...thats how much i miss her.... =( i look for her everyday

Comment by Rochelle Kramer on February 15, 2010 at 5:23pm

I lost my mom to cancer 3 years ago.Everyday I miss her SO much. I just moved to NYC and I never imagined how lonely it can get. I guess all those thoughts I have repressed for three years are coming to the surface. It all just sucks. I have no family I can talk to about this, and my friend, well I dont want to bother them with the same old talk. I am at that point in my life where I REALLY need her. I am 20 years old, and there is a lot I have to figure out in life on my own, with no guidance. It's suffocating sometimes, without her here I feel lost. She always gave the best advice, despite whether I wanted to admit to it. I am starting to forget what she looks like and what she sounds like. I wish I had pictures of us together, but my older sister took all of them and she wont let any one touch them. She's always been a selfish b****.
I want to talk to her so bad, I miss her and took everything for granted while she was still alive. Where do I go from this? How does it get better? I dont want to live in this pain for the rest of my life!

Comment by nice girl on February 2, 2010 at 1:00pm

I did not mention in my last post something VERY important...my mom was/is my best friend...as close as you can be. In some ways it is best she did not watch my sister die. I am happy for that...but EVERY moment of EVERY day...I hurt for her...I miss her.

Comment by nice girl on February 2, 2010 at 12:58pm

oh.....so complicated....so sad...but reality. My sister was dying of AIDS/Cancer 38 yrs old. My mom was broken...blaming it all on herself (never was her fault) My Mom was so sad...no energy. I tried my best to support both my sister and mom. My mom died in Jan 09....my sister watched. Then my sister died 2 months later March 09...with out my Mom to hold her...I did, but everyone needs their Mom. My step father blamed my sis ter for my Mom's death....then he had a heart attack (May 09) He survived. (at the same time he had a new girlfriend 4 months after my mom died...i met her for the first time in ICU-my parents had been married for 25 years...it shocked me) My father survived. then 2 months later one of my closest friends friends killed his two small children, his wife then himself ( August 09) No one saw this coming...I had just talked to him the week before....also, i during this time...I took a promotion....then almost got restructured out of a job...I put my 14 year old dog to sleep and my 18 year old cat is terminal with cancer...I lost triplets during childbirth in 2004 ...yes, all this is true. So .... I am surviving...yup, friends did not know what to say....most were not there when I watched my sister die .... it was a HORRIFIC death. even hospice said it was bad (the morphine needle had fallen out and the morphine was dripping on the floor...we did not see that for 24 hours- i was on the other side of the bed) I do have a partner that has stood by me through this all...I am going to marry her this year. I am proud that I am making it through this....I am marching like a brave soldier...like i promised my mother I would. .

Comment by Marsha "Marcy" Welch on January 31, 2010 at 9:14pm

I lost my Mom about a year and a half ago to cancer. I was her caretaker and spent the last few months of her life with her-day and night. It was hard and heartbreaking, but I'm glad I did it. When she left this world, there was NO DOUBT in my mind that she loved me.
Now, after, I lost my job and had to move back to New Orleans to work. I am barely making enough money to get by. Most days I feel a little lost because I don't have Mom to talk to. She always knew what to say even when I didn't like what she said.
I currently find myself ANGRY. Just FURIOUS. About everything. It's affecting my work, my friendships, everything. Most days end with me wanting to pack everything up and leave. I want to go hide at my Dad's house in the mountians and not deal with the world. I think mostly because I'm tired of being mad. And generally I'm just mentally exhausted. I want to talk to Mom so badly I just ache. I feel like none of my friends understand (maybe because they haven't been through it themselves?) and I keep getting the words "you need therapy!" from a lot of them. These of course are the same 'friends' who didn't even call, email, write-nothing when I was going through watching my mother die. I need to talk to someone about it, that's for sure. My friends are tired of hearing about it, my family tries not to talk about it, I can't afford therapy and I DON'T want to take anti-depressants because I did right after she died and I couldn't stand the way they made me feel. I could hardly stay awake, much less function. I'm just seeking the ear of people who know what I'm going through and where I am in the greiving process. Did I post this in the right place?

Comment by Rochelle Kramer on January 26, 2010 at 4:57am

I lost my mom 3 years ago to liver cancer. I was 17, senior in high school, and still living at home. I have 5 older siblings that were moved on with their lives: husbands, kids, fiancees, college. They didnt understand. A dad whom I havent had a relationship with since I was 7 and has no interest in being in my life. So, here I am, 3 years later, at the age of 20, in a new city, and still...im soooo lost. I dont even know where to begin. I literally have no one to talk to about this anymore. I feel like I have been through the worst of it. Yet, I feel as if I have never miss her so much in my life than right now. Wishing I could talk to her, tell her about New York, my new friends, my career that I am working on. I would love to just hear her voice again, tell her i love her, because i never got the chance. I cant explain it more than...i just miss her.

Comment by Kirsti lisa michels on January 10, 2010 at 9:15am

i lost my mum nearly a year ago to cancer,i was her carer for her last few months,always with her,i new she was bad but i never thought she would actually die,even when i saw a document from her doctor saying she has less then 3 months i still didnt believe and acted like everything was going to be okay,but ever since she has gone i am a different person,she was the most amazing,strongest,loving person i have ever met and am so mad and frustrated and confussed as to why this happened to her. im only 19 i should be out with friends,but instead i am like the mum now in my family i take care of my dad and younger brothers,while doing that i forget to take care of myself,and i end up breaking down,i feel so stressed all the time like i cant keep up,i just miss her so much,i dont like to bring it up to my brothers and dad cause i dont want to make them sad and its so hard to talk toother people cause they get uncomfortable and dont know what to say ......... i just miss my mum so much.

Comment by Katherine Ellis on January 8, 2010 at 7:54pm

My Mom is not dead yet. My real mom. She is lying in the hospital and right now they don't think she will make it. Her sugar level is over 500 and they can't get it down, she is dyhdrated, won't eat, sometimes knows us, other times doesn't. I didn't know where to turn but to you guys. I don't know what to think, how to feel. I am so scared. She will be 87 this year but has always seemed so young and strong. Since I lost my daughter she has been my strenght. Thank you for writing this. I know some of you have just gone though this and have lost your mom's. I am so sorry for your loss. God Bless

Comment by Money Jensen on January 8, 2010 at 9:22am

I lost my mother along with my sister jan 14th 2004 , they were murdered by my mother's ex boyfriend. I had just moved out around thanksgiving a thousand miles away to be with my fiance'. The guilt i feel because i couldn't protect them feels unbearable at times. My mother's family made me feel as if it was somehow my fault. My Mother hadn't told them that i had moved out for fear that they would criticize her for letting me leave home at nineteen. I feel like losing her i lost the only person left that had my back in my family. The rest of her family except my uncle all turned their backs on me when i decided to stay with my fiance' instead of coming back to be with them. This sometimes hurts the most. I am her only child left. She had five miscarriges , one child die of birth complications and the last to murder. Sometimes i wonder why did i live? I wish i could have taken some of the pain she lived through just to feel worthy of still being here.

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