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Comment by Karon B. Porter on December 29, 2010 at 12:56pm

I love how people are coming together on the site to express their lost, I know that is something that is very hard to do... I would like to thank all of you that have visited my beachbody website, and have started getting thier lives back together via fitness... I know that is something my mother would have wanted for me to do.  For those of you that have not gotten the chance to visit my site, please go to www.teambeachbody.com/karonbporter to read my story...I know it is hard to move forward but we have to at our own pace... if you have anything questions please contact me at karonbporter@yahoo.com

Comment by steacy del valle on December 29, 2010 at 10:29am

i dont really know what to say it going to be 8 months since my mom died and to be honest its passing by so fast. i just wish i could talk to her just for 5 mins if thats all i could get just one hug and to tell her how much i love her and how sorry i am for all the times i acted like a bratt and that i thinkk she was an awsome mom. And the thing i wish the most is that she could see bother her grandsons now walking and causeing chaos lol. life just seems so different without her in it. Its just not fair. i see so many people that disrespect there moms and make them feel like crap and they still have there mom and taking them for granted and its like why cant i have my mom here? im only 21 i still need guidence and advice and nobody is really there. i just seems like the world is giving me a really hard time i dont know why. i barely talk to anyone i dont really have much family around me everyone lives far away. i just have my son and baby daddy. he tries to help but he hasnt ever gone through  any of this so i cant expect him to be very helpful but its nice when he tries.

Comment by Velma Sue Arnold on December 29, 2010 at 8:58am

Well I joined this group because I lost my Mother, on Dec. 11. In the first few days afterwards alot of people told me "if you need to talk I'm here" but it seems like they really meant was " if you need to talk about anything BUT THAT I'm here" and my Mother's passing is never more than a heartbeat from my thoughts and it hurts. Yes the world goes on and work has to be done and by being on auto pilot I go about doing what needs to be done, but inside I'm am screaming "I have lost my Mother and life will never be the same and though I know she is away and the funeral is over, I still can't believe it. I have a heart full of should ofs and if onlys but nobody wants to hear them. And though I am Very Thankful for the birth of Jesus, I cring when 15 people forget and ask if I had a good Christmas and look at me funny when I say I didn't celeabrate it this year. I want to go out to the cemetary but I can't make myself do it yet. I need to make a memorial to this special lady but when I think about gathering pictures and things I have panic attacks or anyways I think thats what it is, chest pains, numb hands, and a splitting headache. I should have been a better daughter. I'm 48 but feel like a child. I don't know if this will help but maybe at least writing my thoughts and feelings down will clear my head. sorry for rambling

Comment by Marcia Jan McGinnis on December 21, 2010 at 11:50am

This is my first entry on this sight. I have never used an online support group before. My mom died almost three years ago. It feels as if it could have been yesterday. It is not that my life has not gone on, but the hurt continues, and the guilt becoming more evident. I attended Hospice Survivor group after she first passed, but am hesitant to go back because of the time it has been since her death. And quite frankly, my issue continues to be with the Hospice experience. The people who worked with us were wonderful and they nurtured us through the difficult forty-five days we were at the Hospice House. These people became our family. It is the deciding that death is better than life, the decision to stop all food and fluids that still haunts me today. In one of my saddest times last month I actually verbalized, "I feel like I killed my mom." The verbalization even took me back. It was the gut feeling that I have, and seem to continue to struggle with. I did what I felt was right and what she would have wanted, but on the other hand, she would have never wanted to die that way. I have loving support from friends (hers and mine) and family, but this nagging sorrow remains. I miss her terribly, as she was my best friend. Our father died thirty-two years ago so we were all we had. Having shared what I felt with my sister recently, she acknowledged she had similar feelings, but not that we killed her. For the first time I really felt she understood, even though she was there much of the time. We never left my mom's side while she was at the Hospice House. We ate, slept, bathed, just lived in the same room with mom for that forty-five days. The whole very sad time was only six months total with seems short compared to what others have had in years, but the time was intense. I am hoping that someone, somewhere, will understand this experience and maybe be able to give me suppport in healing this area of the death experience. My mom was a strong Christian woman, a woman of faith. I too, rely on my God, and faith is not my issue. I understand the conclusion of her life was His calling. I understand He was in control all the time. I accept His will, I prayed for it daily, sometimes hourly. It was the way she died, and my decisions that led to this kind of death.

Comment by sandy on December 18, 2010 at 9:33pm

i have not lost my mother to death, but i am grieving as my brother has put her in a residential village where i cannot get to see her, its is a hole in my heart as i used to visit her every week, do you think it is normal to feel like this , ifeel a great sadness , x

Comment by Karon B. Porter on December 18, 2010 at 10:04am

Thank you all for showing your love and support for one another, also thank you all for visiting my site to read my story on why I do what I do with Beachbody... (www.teambeachbody.com/karonbporter) we must take care of ourselves so that we can be here for others...One way I do that is via fitness, I never want anyone to experience the day I lost my mom. Feel free to email me at karonbporter@yahoo.com

Comment by Tiffany Linhart on December 17, 2010 at 12:03pm

Wishing everyone the best during the holidays. Trust me, I know its hard... this year is the 2nd year without my mom, and my first time ever being away from my family. This time of year was my mom's favorite. She loved christmas. I know that my family is suffering without her there, and we are all suffering with me being stuck here in Afghanistan. Try to keep your head up, it will pass, eventually. I was told that the pain would go away with time... I'm still waiting for that day.

Comment by eileen eileen on December 17, 2010 at 10:13am

My name is Eileen and I am new to this site. I am so grateful to have found it last night.  I have read many of your stories and am sorry for your losses.

I miss my Mom so much.  She died in July 2008 and there is a huge hole

in my heart. The grief is unremitting.

Comment by Karon B. Porter on December 13, 2010 at 10:48pm

People,

I really hope we are doing well, this past 12/6 marked 4 years without my mom... I know taking care of myself is the best thing she would have wanted for me... So i am asking all of you to take care of yourself, I know it is hard not having our moms here...please read my story people on why I now help people...www.beachbody.com/karonbporter

email if you want to talk @   karonbporter@yahoo.com

Comment by steacy del valle on December 13, 2010 at 2:58pm

hey jalysa i know how yo feel more than you think my mom passed in may 14, 2010 and we had her cremated and she was baried with my grandma in puerto rico and i live in miami on august i went up there for my aunts wedding and i really tried hard to go to her cementary and no one would take me and i was so upset because i cant just go on a plane when ever i felt like it to go visit her so believe me it was hard because that would be the first time i go to her grave since we baried in july and i was really depressed but your mom is around and she knows you havent fogotten her memory and she is glad you tried to make an effort. i dont nessecarily agree with your grandma that is your way to cope because your mom isnt around anymore so you want to be where she is even if it is in body just to feel like your doing your part just to prove to your self and her that you still cherish her memory and you dont ever want to forget about someone that is so special and important in your life its not a wound its closure and healing in a way atleast for me it would be if i can actually go and visit her

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