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Comment by Jennifer Blackwood on September 14, 2012 at 11:11pm

Ann, I was like that until the house foreclosed since her name was the only name on the house, so I had to get a new phone number, moving to a different city..I freaked out at first, I thought to myself, how could she get in touch with me. She don't have my new number or address..I'd go back to our old house in a heartbeat!

Comment by Ann on September 14, 2012 at 11:09pm

I've gone to support groups, they don't help.  I can't afford therapy and I can no longer afford my antidepressants.  

Comment by Ann on September 14, 2012 at 11:07pm

My mom and I lived together.  She died on March 18, 2011.  I have not changed a thing in the house since she left for the hospital.  Her things are comforting for me but I also figured out that I'm keeping everything the same as an invitation for her to come back.  If she comes back I want her to recognize her home.

Comment by Jennifer Blackwood on September 14, 2012 at 10:56pm

Mark, you will definitely be in my prayers as next Tuesday draws near! I'm so glad that you have got some peace of mind out of the tragic situation..I've had some questions answered and had many 'aha' moments. I know she is at peace and is happy, and I'm so happy for her but still sad for me! The void just never seems to go away! I know you miss her so much, but very glad you have a little bit of relief!

Mary, I think how you handle the people that tell you 'it will get better' and every other comment they can think of..you handle it very well! I'm not going to lie, I have some anger, so when people say that, then I just keep quiet because I don't want to hurt their feelings and I know I would. Going to therapy helps so much, I don't know where I'd be without her! Going on eight months and I still have many triggers..gotta take it one second at a time!

Ann, my thoughts and prayers will be with you on that day, praying for strength and some comfort!

MSB, my mom didn't celebrate a lot of the holidays because she had to work a lot of the time but my birthday was different. That's what I was thinking though, how can my birthday be worst than any other day because I always feel empty without her. My thoughts and prayers will be with you as well!

Comment by MSB on September 14, 2012 at 10:39pm

My mothers birthday is also in september. I can't imagine her birthday coming and this year i will be alone with her on the cemetary. I guess that will be our way of being together.

 

Comment by MSB on September 14, 2012 at 10:36pm

Our birthday is so special to celebrate with our mother, especially because our mothers are the one's who brought us into the world. I had my first birthday without my mom and it felt so empty to not be with her. then again, everyday is empty without my mother. I also dread the holidays that will come up quickly.

Comment by Mark on September 14, 2012 at 5:59pm

Mary, it really does feel like  a portion of heavy weight has lifted off of me.  I still carry a lot of stuff but at least this one situation makes sense.  I can accept it.  It's actually mindblowing and life changing for me.   I've slept better the last two nights.  The releasing of that particular situation has been a gift. 

Ann, please know someone else is right where you are at this very moment as your mom's bday draw's near.  I've been preparing myself for a few weeks for this coming Tuesday.  I despise the memory of last years bday.  It was very somber.  She treated it as a goal just to say you lived it.  Then the next goal was living past Thanksgiving.  Then living past the date someone else died the previous year.  There is a side story to that which is sorta funny but anyways, then we hit christmas and she tried but it was her time.  I knew.  I could tell.  I purposefully got the tree and put the decorations up the day after Thanksgiving to give us one last time doing that together.  It was the suckiest day repeatedly realizing that was it.  We'd never be doing that again but we did it and she got to enjoy all of that one last time.  I feel her near me closer and closer each day it seems.

Comment by Mary on September 14, 2012 at 4:27pm

Ann, I feel that way sometimes too.  I highly advise counseling, it did help me today and am sure the more I go the better I will feel.  It is someone to help you understand these feelings and validate them

Comment by Ann on September 14, 2012 at 4:12pm

I can't even think straight to write more.

Comment by Ann on September 14, 2012 at 4:12pm

My mom's birthday is Sept 27th.  

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