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Comment by BLUEBELL on February 1, 2018 at 4:58pm

Valentines Day will be the 1 year anniversary of my Mom's death. For the most part, I have been feeling okay. But today for some reason I am reliving in my mind the last 2 days of her life and questioning "why didn't I say or do this" and "I wish I had not done or said that." Intellectually, I know I can not change anything and that I did the best that I could. But that is not helping to stop the thoughts and the sadness I am feeling right now. I know from past experience that if I ride it out, I will feel better again. But it is tough to be in the middle of it.

Bluebell

Comment by Lisa Green on January 31, 2018 at 7:56am

Hello Everyone, It's been a long time since I posted last. I'm doing well actually. I'm juggling a lot of responsibility as normal but emotionally I think I'm ok. I miss Mom always but time really has helped ease the pain and grief. I never thought I would ever say that. February 24th will be two years. Dad grieved so hard that he developed dementia and in October I had to move him to a nursing home after 17 days in the hospital. It was and still is very difficult having them there but he is doing so much better with the help of constant care and assistance. I'm still frustrated with my out of state siblings who do not make the effort to come home and visit with my dad. They are only 3 1/2 hours away. I feel that they could come once a month or at least every other month and spend time with him but they don't. I'm the only immediate family he has left here. Thankfully he has some friends and cousins that visit him occasionally. 

I hope all of you are doing well. Sharing your thoughts and feelings are have been a big part of my healing. Thank you. 

Lisa

Comment by Sherri on January 31, 2018 at 7:37am

Theresa this is so true I have  found my mind is always wondering at times I am glad to hear from you guys.

I just wanted to tell everyone I am so glad I found this group it helps when the days are long and tough. Thanks for always listening. I hope you guys are all doing okay.

Comment by Theresa on January 31, 2018 at 5:27am

Brett so glad to at least hear from you.

I struggle during the winter months, too much time to think.

Bluebell, I hope you are doing ok, it takes time, like I said before our moms are not coming back, but the pain we feel gets softer, the memory of her will never leave, but you will soon find yourself saying, I remember when my mom used to say or do that.

I miss my mom with all my heart, and I hope she is around me....

Comment by BLUEBELL on January 22, 2018 at 12:37pm

Sometimes talking about it helps. If you want to share, this is a great group of caring, nonjudgmental people who understand the griefing of a loved one and the life transition that follows.

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on January 22, 2018 at 11:20am

Thanks, Bluebell. I am just really going through a lot right now, and I don't know how to make it better.

Comment by BLUEBELL on January 22, 2018 at 10:30am

The dreams were an unexpected gift.

Hey Brett. It would be great to have you check in. You are missed.

Bluebell

Comment by Crystal K on January 22, 2018 at 6:44am

I am concerned about Brett as well. Have not heard from him since Dec.  

Comment by Theresa on January 22, 2018 at 5:20am

Bluebell that's is so wonderful to be able to have a dream like that..
I am concerned, we have not heard from Bret..

Comment by BLUEBELL on January 22, 2018 at 3:23am

I was blessed with dreams tonight that had both my Mom and Dad in it. In one, I was a little girl and ask Mom to help me because I was sick. The beautiful part was that I knew she would take care of me and make everything better again. In the other dream, Mom told me to go to be with Dad and that he was a man who strong and full of confidence. I saw myself as a little girl walking with him down a path next to a lake. It was Fall and the air was clear and crisp. Dad and I were holding hands and I felt very safe, loved and protected. Someone else was holding my hand on the other side of me, but I could not see who it was.

Bluebell

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