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Comment by Brett Bowman on February 7, 2018 at 10:31am

Douglas, I think you touched on something that really hit close to home. My mom was a daily part of my life. I can just close my eyes and see her and hear her. It's like I just saw her. It's like I could yell, "Mom", and she would say, "What?" That's what is so frustrating for me. It's like she's there but I know that she isn't. I want her to be there. It's hard for me to reconcile that she is not.

I realize that many others will not understand, but it kills me that my brothers and sister do not. I recently moved out of my mother's house to preserve family peace. There is no peace. I got an e-nail from my sister a few days ago. She told me that she hated our mother. She said that she was a horrible mother. I was more shocked than angry. Now I'm angry. She said that mother never loved her. My mom loved her more than anything. One of the last things my mom did before she died was to transfer a lot of money into my sister's account. There was no reason. She did it just because. About a week before my sister died, my sister came to visit. She fell down our stairs while bringing up some luggage. She went to the emergency room. She wasn't hurt badly. She just needed some stitches. It was late. I could not get my mom to go to sleep until she knew my sister was okay. Mom stayed up until three in the morning waiting for her to get home. She called my sister on her cell phone every few minutes. My mother was dying. She didn't care. She was just worried about he daughter. And my sister hates her now because I am supposedly her favorite. My mom loved us all.

Now that we are selling the house, they are having group e-mails and telephone calls. I am not included in any of it. I don't even get a response when I write to ask them a question. They can come together over selling a house, but they could not come together for my mom when she needed them the most. Now they are all fast friends. These were three people who didn't even speak to each other. Now they are together because of a common enemy. Me.

My mom loved all of us with all of her heart. They have banded together against my mom and me. For all their talk of despising my mom, they don't mind taking her money.

They do not understand that mom and I became so close because I was her caretaker. They will never understand.

Comment by Theresa on February 7, 2018 at 5:31am

Sherri that is very nice and true, it has been two years for my mom, nothing has changed I miss her just the same.
Douglas, I am without both parents also.
And no they do not get it, that's because they have not gone through what we have.
Karma my friend

Comment by Douglas on February 7, 2018 at 4:22am

This all.

Comment by Douglas on February 7, 2018 at 4:21am

Not that I WANT to escape it! But all those years ago it seemed like they would always be there! I just can't believe they are gone! Life is so lonely without them and so completely different to those very happy days when they were here! My memories of those years are SO VIVID!  I remember them all as if it were yesterday. I am SO DEPRESSED! I cry so much and wake up and think about them and can't believe thisall happened. I knew it would someday, but not so soon and not like this!

Please help!

Comment by Douglas on February 7, 2018 at 4:17am

I feel that very few GET it! How can they when she was my BEST FRIEND of my entire life from DAY 1?! There are SO many times when I need to ask my Mom (and my Dad) their advice on day-to-day things that I KNOW they would help me with. Not just that, but them not being here. There is no escaping the love,  parenting, guidance, and everything they gave me. In addition to the memories and past times, which are gone forever. I MISS THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

Comment by Sherri on February 6, 2018 at 7:55pm

Very nice poems bluebell 

Blubell and Theresa I feel the same it happens to me driving in the car when I’m alone and my tears start. Theresa stay strong my mom’s 1 yr is feb 23 I’m finding just as hard as it was the first day. I saw this in a Facebook grieving group thought I’d share it. This sums it 

Comment by Theresa on February 6, 2018 at 7:42pm

 Bluebell  I feel the same way sometimes I’ll just be folding laundry and I’ll look over my moms picture I’ll look at her face and just cry I say mom I miss you so much I’ll never forget you mom I’ll never forget your face always smiling 

 How lucky I was to have such a wonderful mom who never wanted anything for herself  she only cared about her children being happy 

 I still wake up at night and I think about her and I said mom I miss you and I hope that you can hear me mom

 What I can say is though the death of my mom has changed me dramatically I just don’t feel like I’m the same person 

Comment by BLUEBELL on February 5, 2018 at 4:12pm

Valentines day will be 1 year since my Mom passed away. I think of her daily. On the 14th, we will have lunch at Mom's house and remember her together. On Feb 15th, my sister, her husband and our cousin are going on a tour of a private zoological garden that is close by. They have a white Bengal Tiger---Mom's favorite. She will be there because she is in our hearts.

I am still grieving her death. Sometimes it is still intense, but mostly it is a lot softer. The other night I was driving and thought how wonderful it would be if I could go to Mom's house and she was still there. I miss her.

Bluebell

Comment by Lisa Green on February 5, 2018 at 1:57pm

Very nice mini poems Bluebell. Thank you for sharing

Comment by BLUEBELL on February 5, 2018 at 10:20am

I found these and wanted to share them with you all

Bluebell

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