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Comment by Theresa on April 1, 2018 at 6:31am

Happy Easter everyone.

The past few days have been really hard my mom is constantly in my thoughts.

I miss her so much, its so difficult sometimes.

Comment by Theresa on March 24, 2018 at 5:49am

Crystal, yes I agree the reality of what happened to my mom re-plays over and over in my mind.

I myself will never get over losing my my so unexpectedly, I didn't get to say mom I love you, maybe I would have peace if I was there and holding her hand, but I wasn't.

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 23, 2018 at 10:46am

Crystal, it's a double edged sword. I can remember my mom when she was healthy. Even that makes me sad because it leads me to visualize what became of her. The reality of what happened always comes back to you.

I don't believe that we will ever "get over it", but I have to hope and believe that time will help us accept what has happened. That somehow we can learn to live with it. I have known older people who just shut down after losing their spouse. If we want to live and be happy, we have to make a decision to not shut down. That's easy for me to say. I can tell you that but I don't know how to actually pull it off. Circumstances play such a big role. Even if I were ready to move on, the circumstances of my life keep me where I am. I just hope and pray that they improve.

Comment by Crystal K on March 23, 2018 at 5:40am

It is my mom’s birthday to two days. She wouldve been 61. Been dreading this day everyday this past month. How can someone you knew and talked to everyday suddenly not be here the next? Then it seems like their whole life is reduced to their last days... cause thats what sticks to your memory.. no matter how much i try to think of the good times, i always end up thinking about the end... and how she didnt deserve any of it... 

I am realizing that I will never “get better”..  I miss her terribly especially at night when I return home from work and find myself alone, reminiscing about the old days in a bucket of melancholy. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 17, 2018 at 1:20am

Jessica, I don't want to be a downer. Lord knows you are down enough. There will come a time when you won't have to leave work early. I think there comes a time when we realize that this is something that we cannot control. We either continue to put one foot in front of the other or we don't. I believe that you will continue to live your life. It will always hurt, but one thing that I hold onto is this. I am literally a part of my mother. She goes on through me. I know that. Sometimes I notice in my mannerisms how much my mom and I are alike. You mother lives through you. My mother lives through me. We bury our moms and that is so hard, but their legacy is still here. If you want to find it just look in the mirror.

Go on for your mom. Go on for yourself. Let's keep something that our moms loved so much (us) alive. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 16, 2018 at 7:23pm

I realize more and more each day that my mom was the center-piece of my life. The one constant I always had in my life was my mom. All was right with the world as long as I had my mom. Of course I had bad days, but I still had my mom. And now I don't. That is a hard reality to face each day. At some point each morning I wake up and remember that my mom is dead. What a horrible way to face the day.

There's something else that has been on my mind today. My photo albums. I have looked at so many pictures of my mom and her little dogs. I remember taking a lot of them. Now mom and one of her little dogs are now pictures in a photo album. I look at her last little dog (Krissy) who is laying here at my feet and I know that she will one day be a picture in a photo album as well. It's too much.

I just don't know how to make things better. I wish that I could.

Comment by Jessica Laird on March 16, 2018 at 6:25pm

I am having such a hard time at work .Tuesday i had to leave mid day and today i broke down crying again at work and had to leave early. I want the anxiety and tears to go away

Comment by BLUEBELL on March 16, 2018 at 3:26pm

I knew it was time to let my Mom go. But I had no idea of the intensity of the emotional pain it would cause me until it happened

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on March 16, 2018 at 5:48am

Brett, I agree.

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 16, 2018 at 12:16am

Even If they do not understand what you are going through, I hope that they at least have some idea how blessed they are to still have  their moms. I don't know if that's possible though. I cherished my mom when she was alive, but it is so hard to prepare for this. I knew it would be bad. I had some idea, but you just can't know the reality, finality of it all until you experience it.

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