Comment

Comment by Theresa on April 3, 2018 at 6:33am

Brett, you know I bought a dozen of bright pink roses to the Blessed Mother on a Friday, and can I tell you one week later when I went again they were as big and beautiful everyone was commenting on them, I smiled.

I have to say on Easter I watched something that I should not have the Mel Gibson- The Passion of the Christ, I cried even harder, I don't know if I should have done that but that is what Jesus went through for us for our sins.   

Comment by Theresa on April 3, 2018 at 6:31am

Marie, do you know what I have to live with everyday? I talked to my mom on the phone at 7:20am on 12/19, she was going to the hospital because her stomach was bothering her, to make a long story short, I did not get to the hospital in time, I was pulling in twenty minutes later and I got a phone call from a nurse at the hospital that she had gone into full cardiac arrest, I never got to say mom I love you, she was not sick this was a shock, they attemped CPR, to no avail while I watched, it was horrible, I live everyday of my life with those thoughts in my mind, I cry everyday, I have no one, no kids, just my 10 year old Lab., I pray everyday please help me, please let me know it will be alright, this is my third year without her, the pain is still there, I have learned to live my new life without her, she was all I had......

You are in the beginning stages of grief, this is what I say cry if you want to, go through the stages of what your body needs.  

We all know our moms don't want us to be upset, but I hurts, they were our moms.

Comment by SelV on April 3, 2018 at 3:54am

Brett and Theresa...thank you for your condolences. Like you Brett, I do not have a husband or children nor a dog. Somehow, my mother landed on my lap. My brother always says " It is a blessing to take care of an elderly parent."  To lose that elderly parent is definitely NOT a blessing. My mother would be always home to welcome me after work. She would even cook for me during weekdays.  She was still mobile till her final moments but she was at risk for falls. That took her her life. My house is 'empty' now. My mum's suffering has ended. But mine has begun with her passing. The pain is so raw. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 3, 2018 at 1:25am

Marie, don't beat yourself up for having those thoughts. If you read all of these pages you will see that many of us have had those dark thoughts. You are in tremendous pain and you want that pain to stop. I would say that is a natural reaction to such a great loss. I can tell you what saved me. Two things: I can just imagine my mom next to me crying, saying, "Please no! Don't do it!" And secondly I remember how my mom suffered for so long and she sustained until the end, until she took her last breath. She never gave up I want to honor my mom by following her example. I want to keep her alive through me. I can see her in me. Some of my mannerism's are so much like my mom's. She's still with me. I can't hug her anymore, but she's a part of me.

We look for strength where we can. Some can do it through their spouse or their children. We look for a reason to live, and we always look for a light at the end of the tunnel. It has to be there.

I don't have a wife or a child. I've got a little dog who has my heart, and if she is my reason for getting up in the morning and taking her for a walk, than God bless her. If seeing her wag her little tail, or if a lick on the face can give me joy, than God Bless her.

Today I was off from work. I bought a big bundle of flowers and took them to the local Catholic church. I put them in the arms of a statue of The Blessed Mother. I told her my story. I told her that I didn't have a mother and I asked her if she would do it. I asked her to not just be a statue to me. That may sound odd, especially when you know that I'm not even Catholic. It made me feel good. I even kissed her on the cheek. For all I know  there may be a rule against that. I don't know. I just know that I am searching. I am soul sick. I'm a loss little boy who misses his mother, but I'll keep trying. I'll keep hoping. Love is the most powerful force in the world. I will never give up on love. And when all else fails I remember how much my mom loved/loves me. I'll live on for her, and then hopefully one day I will be strong enough to live for myself. I want this for you, too. Find happiness where you can. Look for joy in little things. It could be the wag of a tail. It could be just giving someone a compliment and brightening someone else's day. Know that this life is not forever. Never lose hope that it can get better. As long as there is a sliver of hope, hold onto it. Don't give up. Your wound is very fresh, and I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that it will heal quickly. There is no timeframe for this. We heal in our own time. But we can heal. We will heal if we allow it to happen. Allow it to happen, and know that we are here for you. You are not alone, buddy. I don't know you from Adam, but I can promise you that you are in my heart now. I know what it's like to lose a mom. I'm with you and I'm pulling for you. I'm praying for you. We will get through this. When you cry, know that I am here and probably crying, too. You're not alone.

Comment by Marie D on April 3, 2018 at 12:29am

Brett, thank you so very much for writing me back, just to know that someone is there, it means the world to me. I keep rereading your comments over and over; and they are providing me with tremendous comfort. I don’t think I can adequately express how much I appreciate this, more than you will ever know. You see, I’m having some awfully dark thoughts and you are quite literally saving my life.  From the bottom of my heart, I am filled with enormous gratitude for you, and for giving me strength.

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 3, 2018 at 12:04am

Marie, you're not drowning. You are grieving the loss of someone you love with all of your heart. You're not alone. I feel like I'm drowning too. I'm not. You know how I know? I'm still breathing. I lost my mom on Christmas Eve, 2015. She was also on Hospice. There must be different rules guiding Hospice her in NC. I wanted them to take those medicines away but they wouldn't. They told me that legally they couldn't. I couldn't even give them to the police. I had to take them to a drop box. I never had the desire to take them because they would not have brought my mom back.

I want to give you encouragement. It's hard because I don't know you and your relationship with your mom was unique to you and her, but I know this... we both love our moms so much it hurts, and losing them makes it hurt so much worse. Please remember how much your mom loves you. Know that of all your mom possessions, the one thing that she loved the most was you. Know that she will always love you and that love NEVER dies. Know that you will see her again, and when that day comes, you will never have to say goodbye again. Your mom will never be sick again. She will be waiting for you. I know she will. Hold on. Have faith. We are here if you ever need to talk. Believe me that we understand what you are feeling. Remember that you are still breathing and take baby steps, but keep moving forward when you can. Please know that your mom lives on through you. She is literally a part of you. She always will be. You are bound together. She's not gone. Just look in the mirror. You will see her in you.

God Bless You my friend. I am always here for you.

 

Comment by Marie D on April 2, 2018 at 9:43pm

My Mom passed away this past Christmas Day 2017. I am not doing well. My Mom was in hospice, and when she passed away, the hospice nurse came and took away her pain medicines. That was a good thing because now I think I may have been tempted to take her medicine to escape my sadness, grief, and pain. I think I have fallen into a deep depression, it's no longer just overwhelming grief, but worse, if that can be possible. Can someone please write to me to give me encouragement. Please. I am drowning.

Comment by Theresa on April 1, 2018 at 7:29pm

Selvi I am sorry for your loss

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 1, 2018 at 6:53pm

Selvi, my mom died of COPD, too. I am very sorry for your loss My mom died at the age of 81 as well. I was also her caretaker for over 10 years. A lot of similarities, but there is one great big one. We both love and miss our mom so much.

God Bless You.

Comment by SelV on April 1, 2018 at 2:01pm

My mum passed on Thursday 15 March 2018 at the age of 81. She gave me 57 years of her life from the day I was in her womb. I am 56 now and was her primary caretaker for more than a decade. She fell in the bathroom and I watched her gasping for breath and taking her last breath. She had COPD. When my father passed on 17 years ago, my heart was broken. Now my heart is burnt.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 112
• 113
• 114
• 115
• 116
• …
• 542
• Next ›
• Page