Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kayla Weihs on November 20, 2012 at 8:55am

Sheri, thanks for the reply. I know my mom can hear me, and I do talk to her. I think that's why she still visits me in my dreams, because I ask her to. And I'm always patient with her, because I know she loved so many people, so she is probably checking in on others. The "goodbye" just scared me because I don't want her to say goodbye to us, even if it's just for now. I'd rather her call and say "hello." Know what I'm saying? 

My brother and I are going to go visit a medium soon. We just want to try to contact our mom and see if we can talk to her. We just want to be able to tell her we love her and know that she heard us. I know everyone says, oh yeah she can hear you. But I want to know for myself. We'll see how the medium goes. Until then, I'll just enjoy her in my dreams.

Thanks again for your message. 

Permalink Reply by Kris Baclawski on November 20, 2012 at 9:29am

Interesting you bring up visiting mediums.  Given I used to attend a Spiritualist church and have a few friends who are psychics or mediums, I find it odd that I've not contacted any of them.  Only once have I actually felt my mother's presence since her passing.   It was during a visit with my family to our mother's forty acres of woods with a log cabin that she as a 7 year old helped her father and grandfather to build in 1929.  

I do talk to her often and find myself saying things that would have come from straight from her mouth.   I am my mother's daughter, after all.   

Permalink Reply by Kris Baclawski on November 19, 2012 at 4:04pm

This will be my second Thanksgiving without my mom.  Because I was born in late November, not having her around at this time is a double loss.   And she was one of five people I love dearly--sadly another one passed away about 6 weeks before my mother.  

I am moving on with my life, but sometimes the holes seem as large as the Grand Canyon.    The most difficult aspect of my "new" life is to forge a new relationship with my older sister who never lived on her own.  And maybe, she doesn't like living alone.  Laid off into a forced retirement, she finds herself with a lot of time on her hands and calls me 3 or 4 times a week and talks for lengthy periods.   My days begin at 6 am; 12 hours later I return home to walk my dog.  I get my supper at 7 and try to do housework if I'm not too tired.   What I'm lacking is what my mom used to call "me time".   I need it to recharge.

Thanks for listening.

Kris

Permalink Reply by Kayla Weihs on November 20, 2012 at 8:46am

Kris, thanks for the message. I'm sorry for your loss of your mom and your other loved one. It's hard enough losing one loved one, let alone two. "Me time" is really important, and I hope you're able to find time for it. I know what you mean completely. I have a hard time finding time for just me as well. Between working and coming home to make supper, do laundry, clean, I never get to really sit down and relax. By the time I'm ready to sit down, it's about time to go to bed.

My dreams are where I escape. My mom comes to see me in my dreams every now and then. And when she does, it makes my heart leap. I miss her so much, it hurts. I know what you mean about moving on with life, but some days, it's impossible. Something is missing. For the first year Mom was gone, every time something happened, I reached for my phone to call Mom. I had always talked to her multiple times a day, every day. She was my best friend. It's hard to turn that off. So I started calling my Dad instead. My Dad and I have become closer, but I wish it wasn't under these circumstances.

Thanks again for messaging me, and if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to message me.

((Hugs))

Kayla

Permalink Reply by sharon on December 12, 2012 at 8:54pm

kris
Sorry for your loss!!

I lost my mom 3 years in nov,, and i still wait for the phone to ring too. there for awhilie i looked at the clock and think yay Mom and doughter time on the phone and we talk for hours and hours until the batterys die, will as i still remebmer her last chat with me before she passed away I LOVE YOU!! and the next day she passed away so this day on i still await for that call and i know i will not recive that call no more but she is in my heart, as with my daddy and my grandparents.
God bless

Permalink Reply by Kris Baclawski on December 18, 2012 at 8:47am

I thought I'd touch base with your folks.  I'm finding this holiday season to be more difficult because last year, I think I was still numb following my mom's passing.  This year, I am probably more frustrated with the constraints of my life and get angry at the lack of progress in several projects I'd like to work on for my home and my own creative expression.  My relationship with my older sister frustrates me because of her need to call me 3-4/week and then she'll talk for long periods.   When our mother was alive, I'd call a couple times every week and visit one weekend afternoon.  So many times, when I called my sister said Mom was too tired and then was not communicative.  It makes me angry, even though I know she probably was tired as I am.  Sigh...

Permalink Reply by sharon on December 12, 2012 at 8:44pm

Kayla

My Mom passed away 3 years now and i agree so much with you because i miss my mom so much and mostly daring the hoilday season , when the smell of baking and cooking and the perfect chirstmas card to give to her, I made the promise to carry the cooking and baking on behalf of her when she died, and the one promise i do now is i still invite her 90 year old boy freind over to join us to eat and have a good old time and share stories about silly goofy things , how she wanted us to carry on with out her and is one of her wishes and that is what i am going to do for her,, it's hard daring the hoildays but having famiies and freinds around that cares means alot too.. Happy Hoildays to you and yours,

Permalink Reply by Kayla Weihs on December 17, 2012 at 3:20pm

Thanks for your message, Sharon. This will be my 5th holiday season without my mom as she died in June of 2008. My mom absolutely loved Christmas. She loved buying us all stuff and seeing our faces when we opened our gifts. She truly was a giver. She never cared if she had anything to open or not. So since she loved the holidays, I have continued with the decorating, baking, and celebrating the holidays. This year, however, I have not been in the mood. My husband's father just passed away on December 1st. He was 50 years old and died of a heart attack. He had a massive stroke last December, but he was recovering so well. Then, all of a sudden, a massive heart attack stole him from us. Mom was 47 when she died of the same thing. It's not fair. I did finally get my Christmas tree out on Saturday, because my 5 year old niece was at my house and wanted to help me put it up. But I haven't plugged it in or even looked at it since it's been up. I just want the holidays to be over. This is so unlike me, but this year, I'm just a little bitter about it all. Hopefully next year, I'll be able to get back in the spirit.

Happy Holidays to you as well.

Kayla

Permalink Reply by Linda McDonnell on December 24, 2012 at 6:46pm

What a wonderful experience.  I too wish to hear from my Mom.  She has been gone since May 13, 2011.  Still miss her everyday.  She had been through a lot, was 91.  It was her time but it's not any easier knowing that.  Maybe that makes me selfish.  She was the most unselfish person I ever knew.  wish i was more like her.