Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Bob Naples on July 6, 2012 at 7:25pm

Lisa,so sorry for your loss.Nothing is more hurtfull  than the loss of a loved one.I don't know where you are at with your belief system,but you need to know where she is,and it's very beautiful there!!I know because on 12/26/06,I "died", and lived to tell you that you need not worry where she is.Please keep an open mind,and I strongly urge you to go to www.victorzammit.com,and this will give you great comfort!!!

 

Bob

 

Permalink Reply by sandee love on July 9, 2012 at 7:59pm

bob, i dont mean to eavesdrop but i tried that website & it doesnt exist.

Permalink Reply by anna l. on July 6, 2012 at 7:55pm

Lisa Im so sorry your hurting so much.  But everything you are feeling is normal, even the crying and yelling out in the empty house.  I have done it too.  It just happens.  You have lost your mom and if you want a teddy bear to hug and cry into what is so different than me hugging my little dog and crying into her fur until I couldnt cry no more?  If that is what you want, and it doesnt hurt you or anyone else, go ahead and do it.  This is a time you have to learn to take care of yourself the way your mom has been teaching you to do all along.  Be gentle with yourself.   

Permalink Reply by Jayne on August 23, 2012 at 11:02pm

Lisa, so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away July 10th and I have been so devastated. she was my best friend . my mom had Pancreatic Cancer which was so horrible. people say to move on but how can I? I guess we have to think about all the good times and try not to think about how our moms passed away. people say that may be easier, I don't know. It is a shock .

Permalink Reply by Mary on July 6, 2012 at 8:04pm

Lisa, it is perfectly ok to yell out that "it's not fair."  It's ok to be mad, to cry, to scream, and of course it is OK to get a teddy bear to hug-I highly advise it!  My mom always had a bear that she took to the hospital with her and she hugged it during all those difficult times.  She held it this last time while she was in the hospital and in hospice.  At first I was angry when she died and I just wanted to throw everything that she had in the hospice away because I did not want to remember that time, but I ended up taking the bear and now I hug it when I really really need my mom and it helps.  If you were here, I'd give you one of her bears :) she had a lot of them.  Come on here and express your feelings, this group is wonderful.  There is always chat on here as well if you need to talk to folks. You are not alone and we all care about your loss.

Permalink Reply by sandee love on July 6, 2012 at 9:10pm

hi lisa,   i know exactly how you feel.   im in that well too but i am really trying not to make any decisions while i feel this way.  but then again,  i dont think i will EVER not feel this way.  my precious mom.  i feel like a part of me has been amputated. nothing will ever be the same.  if i didnt have a cat to take care of i'm  sure i would want to join my mom, just to make sure she's ok.  i don't think god, or whoever is out there , would punish me for that.   this place here has been a life saver.  this is the only place that i tell my truth.  bless you lisa. 

Permalink Reply by sandee love on July 6, 2012 at 9:19pm

ps,  i find myself wondering why the birds keep singing,  why the world hasn't stopped to honor my ma.  i listen to the news & am always waiting to hear that my ma has gone to heaven.  how can the world go on....  how can people go on their way when the person i've loved the most has gone away.....

Permalink Reply by Jayne on August 23, 2012 at 10:39pm

I lost my beautiful mo on July 10th. I have been heartbroken ever since! we were so close. I am feeling lost and alone even though I do have a faimly. I feel for your loss too and can't understand how other lives do go on.

Permalink Reply by Jalysa Reyes on July 7, 2012 at 1:19am

I know how you feel my mother had something called sarcoidosis. And at seven years old all I knew that she was sick and that the doctors at the time didn't know much about it. My anger is off and on because that sickness is one of the most rare to get. I believe only a handful of people get it a year. So out of all the billions, zillions of people on this planet why did my mother have to get it? That is what I continued to ask myself all through middle school, high school and even my undergrad years. It is only now that I'm just starting to accept the emotions that go through with the pain of her absence.

Permalink Reply by Storyas Fawnfeather on July 7, 2012 at 10:36am

When I first saw that you had started this group I thought - I need to remark on that one.  I'm mad as heck.  Then, I thought - I can't be mad, it was my fault that I didn't force my mom to get the surgery she refused, etc., so how can I be mad at anyone.  But, I am.  If I began to express how angry I am it would come out in a flood I couldn't handle, but I am angry.  And, my dad was abused and re-abused during his last months on earth, and I fought so hard that his nursing home was even closed down by the state for neglect and abuse, but I am still angry.  I can now say I'm angry, but if I started ranting about why I'm angry I think I'd explode from everything that needs to come out of me.  One thing I now for sure is I am NOT angry at my mom and dad for dying.  I'm angry for other reasons.

Permalink Reply by sandee love on July 9, 2012 at 8:09pm

storyas,  i get so much from what you write.  i would be pissed off too that that nursing home did what they did.  im not recommending this but i would probably be in jail right now if that was my family member.   i think you may need to explode & let the flood begin.  like me, you are already going through the hardest thing that you will ever go through.  from here on, everything else is easy.  i am merely maintaining life for now.

Permalink Reply by Jayne on August 24, 2012 at 10:36pm

hello I am so sorry for your loss and also feel the pain of losing a mom, a beautiful caring mom who meant the world to me. I know what you mean when you say it seems like no one cares. It seems that others have moved on which is so odd. my mom passed away just a few weeks ago from Pancreatic Cancer. It has been so devastating but some people no longer talk about her. I do all the time.

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