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Comment by sara kephart on December 9, 2011 at 10:00am

missing my dad today missing his voice,smell,touch,and smile:(xmas was his fav holiday and its his birthday its scary the closer it gets knowing he wont be here and we will have to celebrate it alone..i miss you daddy

Comment by christianlee on December 7, 2011 at 8:20pm

Andrea. What a great gift of love. Your mom should love it. That gave me an idea.

Comment by Andrea Clark on December 7, 2011 at 5:49pm

I am making a memory quilt for my mom this Christmas. My dad passed away in August. I took some of my favorite pictures to make the quilt. It sure is hard to do this. It makes me miss my dad even more. When we first started (the whole project was my teenage daughter's idea) I couldn't stop crying when I was selecting pictures.  I feel so guilty when I cry in front of her. She is very sensitive, and it really shakes her when she sees me so unhappy. People say it gets easier as time goes by - I just don't know when that will be.

Comment by Ilana Rabone on December 2, 2011 at 2:42pm

I hope this is the proper place to put this.  My mother passed away a year and a half ago from ovarian cancer.  She was only 67.  Now my dad is dating and I feel like I am losing him.  He spends more time with his girlfriend than his children and its tearing me apart.  I love him and want to do things with him, but he always has something to do with his girlfriend.  I ended up having Thanksgiving with my ex husband because my ex didn't want me to be alone because my dad decided to take a cruise with his girlfriend.  I try to call him at least once a week but he only wants to talk for five minutes and then says he has to go.  It's so awkward between us and I have no idea why or what to do about it.  Any suggestions would be appreciated.  Thanks!

Comment by Amber Timmons on November 29, 2011 at 7:22pm

This might sound dumb but I always feel better in the shower. My dad was a Water Superintendant. He was very into purity of water and environmentalism. Some of that has rubbed off on me, and i find showers very 'cleansing' I guess. He was also big in charity and giving back. He'd do river cleanups, raise money for kid's toys for tots, etc. Even though it's hard during the holidays for him not to be here, I feel like it's my duty to carry on what he would normally have been doing.  @Christianlee- I had a very hard time going through my dad's things. I kept things that I knew were important to him and meant something. It was hard but I couldn't keep everything even though if I didn't keep it I felt horrible. I miss him more because he never got to meet my daughter or see me get married. He was so excited about me getting married and it hurt having him not there.

Comment by Andrea Clark on November 29, 2011 at 6:55pm

marie - about the good days and bad - I guess it's normal. I feel the same way. Most days I cry on the way to work, or on the way home. Some days are better than others. Holidays: I can't wait for them to be over this year... just try to make it through...

Comment by christianlee on November 29, 2011 at 5:01pm

Thank you for being on here.

Comment by Megan on November 29, 2011 at 4:33pm

i know, it's been 4 months for me and just seems way too soon. i read somewhere that it's best to wait for at least 6 months to go through things or you might regret some decisions because you're usually not thinking rationally at this stage. i know there's not a "right" way to do anything, just do what's best for you. my brother is sort of pushing it on me and my mom too, not sure why. 

Comment by christianlee on November 29, 2011 at 4:26pm

Thanks.Megan. I'm not ready to get rid of any of my dads things. Not yet...its only been 5 months

Comment by Megan on November 29, 2011 at 2:15pm

christianlee - i'm sorry, that's a really terrible day he picked. i haven't been able to get rid of anything my dad gave me and i'm not really looking forward to christmas when i'll be home. my mom wants to start going through his stuff then and i am just dreading it. 

 

marie - i'm the same way, i can get through days without crying but others i am a total wreck. just try to take it day by day and know that it's normal. the holidays are extra hard, just try to do the best you can and know that it's ok to feel sad. 

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