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Comment by christianlee on March 30, 2012 at 5:13am

You know .....it seems one never truly grows up until they lose their father or mother. A reality I never wanted to face.

Comment by christianlee on March 17, 2012 at 2:24am

Yes...wouldn't it be so great to hear their voice again....just one more time when we need it the most.

Comment by Annette Gallagher on March 16, 2012 at 11:24pm

i just want my dad to say its gonna be alright x

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on March 16, 2012 at 4:15pm

Hi. everyone.  I haven't talked much about this, because I did not want to upset you all when you were grieving any way.  But, I've had a really hard time with my dad's death, because it looked like he died prematurely due to neglect and abuse from his care providers, as well as possibly a medical decision that the hospital was shocked to discover that seems it may have been malicious and meant to take his life.  Well, I made the appropriate reports, and I found out that a few months ago, the nursing home was cited and severely fined.  Now, I found out today that the nursing home was closed, and all the residents were moved to other facilities.  On one hand, I am over the moon, because justice is being done step by step and because I know that the other elderly people in that place are safe now.  On the other hand, I want to cry but am so walled off that the tears can't even come out of my eyes, because I keep remembering how much he suffered.  I knew he was being mistreated and was too sick for me to take him home, so I stayed with him round the clock to keep him safe.  The things I saw him go through were horrendous, and they will haunt me for the rest of my life.  I would fight to get him treated right and it would just turn the abuse up on me, although I think me being there so much did keep him a bit safer.  I am over the moon with joy that that horrible place was closed down at the same time that I feel like I want to cry my eyes out.  I'm going to say it here for the first time like I said it to the lawyer for the first time today - they killed my dad!  They killed my dad!  Closing them down is good, but it is not enough.  Someone should be on trial for manslaughter or murder.  Maybe that will still happen, but I do not know.  Now, two tears finally managed to leak out of my eyes.  It's like if I let it out I think I'll never stop crying, so I just can't let myself cry.

Comment by christianlee on March 13, 2012 at 10:55am

So sorry Debbie. I know the feeling. Dad passed last summer. We have a family business and its been really hard on all of us to continue...especially my mom. We miss my dad greatly. The impact of losing your dad is so great. I had no idea what the feeling would ever feel like until he was gone. Such a hard and sad time. I feel your pain.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on March 13, 2012 at 12:03am

Debbie Bailey - I will be praying for you tonight.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on March 13, 2012 at 12:03am

Debbie Bailey - I'm so sorry about what you are going through.  I lost my mom and then the grief caused my dad to get sick and I lost him a while later, so I know how it feels.  I wish I could do something magical to make the pain go away, but it takes time.  Is there any way that maybe you could take a leave of absence from work to help your mom?  There is a new law that requires employers to give employees family leave.  I can't remember what it is called.  Maybe someone could remind me what it is called.  It might be good for both of you if you were able to focus on just her right now.  Good luck to you. 

Comment by debbie bailey on March 12, 2012 at 11:03pm

Hi I lost my dad on Nov 19. I am so sad, miss his voice, encouragement.and hugs. On Jan 25 my mombegan to have strokes. She is different,and again I am so sad. I,ve hardly grieved my father and now I will lose my mom twice. I don't want her in pain and she is. I teach and its been so hard to work. I am so concerned about my mom. She is my best friend and I thought she would make it through the loss of my dad. I cry a lot and normally I,m a really Fu full of life person. Its been so difficult. I hope that I can support someone on this site. Thanks for listening. Db

Comment by christianlee on March 10, 2012 at 6:48pm

Storyas....neat how our dads say the same thing. We connected somehow. Right ....take good care of you.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on March 10, 2012 at 6:06pm

Christianlee - My dad and mom both used to say come back soon and visit.  Your post made me think of them.  I do try to go to their grave as much as I can now, but I wasn't able to do it at first  It took a few months. 

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