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Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on May 22, 2012 at 11:07pm

Liz - I am so sorry you lost your father when you are so young.  I don't know what I would have done had I lost my dad when I was 26.  I am so so sorry for your loss.  I now it must be horrible to loose him so close to father's day and your wedding.  I hope you have been on the after death communications group on this site and that that brings you some comfort that he probably will be at your wedding but just not in the physical body.  Be aware of things that day.  I'm sure you'll get an impression of him.  I'm sure he'll let you know he is there.  I don't understand life and death either.  I guess none of us will until we get to the death part.  I agree with what JB has said many times - I wish everyone I love could live forever, but maybe that is what we will have when we get to the other side:  a forever life with everyone we love.  I remember a short time before my mom died, we all went out to eat and my niece was talking about vampire movies and how she wanted to live forever (she was a young teenager), and my mom told us then that she would not want to live forever.  One of her reasons were the people who went before her she would not see any more if she lived here forever.  I think we forget sometimes that our parents had parents that they lost, so when they leave us they go and be with the people they had lost just like one day we will be with them.  Maybe they are happier than we will ever know and just waiting for us to come over and share that happiness.  But, you are only 26, so I'm sure your dad will want you to live a long time, be married, love your husband, maybe have babies who will bring more souls into the family that you can one day share eternity with - which will be the time when your father will meet those babies.  So, please try to be happy until many years from now when you will be reunited with your father, because I am sure that is what he would want for you.  I was never lucky enough to have children of my own, but I have nieces and nephews who are like my own children we are so close (especially my niece Angie and her brother Johnny).  When my time comes and I leave this planet, I want them to be happy.  And, knowing the pain of loosing my parents, my plan is to - if there is any way possible - look out for them for the rest of their lives from the other side.  And, I'm one of those over protective aunts who would probably be like a poltergeist to anyone who gave them a hard time.  Oh - you just harmed my niece, oops, didn't mean to pull that rug out from under your feet and make you fall on your keister - my bad.  My niece and nephew will probably be begging me to go on to heaven and leave them alone I'll be watching over them so close, so I'm sure your daddy is watching out for you that close from the other side as well - if not closer cuz he really is your daddy and these are my nieces and nephews.  One day when you have children, you'll understand how even death can't separate a parents love and protection from their child.  And, I don't know why I'm saying all of this - part of me just feels led to.  I hope it is helping.  It's actually even helping me a little bit.  God bless you.  I will say a prayer for you tonight.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on May 22, 2012 at 10:57pm

Marty C - my dad died alone too.  I never forgave myself for that.  He wanted me to stay with him.  I thought he would be okay til morning.  I have a pretty severe case of hypoglycemia, and I really needed to go eat at the moment I left.  He died before I got back.  I'm sorry your dad died and if you wanted to be with him I am sorry he was alone.  I'm so sorry.

Mark - my dad and I were very close when I was little.  But, my dad was a survivor of severe child abuse, so bad it left him crippled for life and then took his life from Parkinsons from blows to the head that caused the Parkinsons when he was abused.  So, in my middle years with him he pushed me and everyone away.  Then, in the last years of his life, he and I got very close again.  All relationships go through ups and downs, close times and distant times, etc.  All that matters it that the two of you loved each other and had the bond that only a parent and child can have, and thus you will miss him and hopefully remember the good times that did create whatever level of bond you had.  It is good that you miss him sometimes, because that shows that you were probably closer than you thought you were.  We are taught as humans to measure closeness one way, but I think the spirit measures it in a whole another way, and that is the way that lives on.  I believe your dad is watching over you.  I believe all of our dads are watching over us.

Susan- we never out grow our daddies, even when we are old ourselves.  You're never too old to need your daddy,  Thank God that After Death Experiences (see that group) people are sharing are leading me to believe more and more that we all still have our daddies.  I love my daddy more than I ever realized until he was gone and I couldn't tell him any more.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on May 22, 2012 at 10:50pm

Christianlee - my dad's one year anniversary just passed too - I think that may be why I haven't been on; I'm hiding from my emotions.  It doesn't seem like a year to me either.  I was going through papers of his just today and remembering playing bingo with him and going to the flea market and it just doesn't seem possible we'll never do those things again.  I hope you are doing okay and that you get through this anniversary okay.

Cassandra - I have had a lot of dreams where I'm following my mother around surprised that she doesn't have cancer and lived even though the doctors told her she wouldn't, and she is just right as rain and not even a little surprised that she is well.  Then, I wake up and realize she is gone.  Maybe she is telling me it's all okay on the other side.

JB - you are not crazy that you felt your dad help you.  Things like that happen.  I'm not sure if it was an angel or my mom or what, but shortly before my dad died, I almost drove off a cliff near my house.  I felt hands land on top of my hands on the steering wheel and swerve my car back onto the road.  The reason I almost drove off the cliff was I wasn't paying attention, and that go my attention again.  Someone from the other side saved my life that day.  And, if your nan keeps telling you to go to the doctor - please go to the doctor.  It sounds like she is warning you, because you will definitely be okay if you listen to her but she wants you to listen now while there is still time for it all to be okay.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on May 22, 2012 at 10:41pm

JB and Cassandra - much of what you are saying is so familiar to me.  My dad loved candy, so I always took it to him.  I now see it in the store and start to buy it and think, "He can't eat it any more".  And, I drive by my parents doctors offices where I took them a lot during their last years and miss even going to the doctor with them cuz at least I was with them.  How can the world be going on like it always did and them not be in it any more.  I pulled into a store parking lot last week and there used to be a Joann's Fabrics in there.  It is closed now, but I remembered all the times I went in there with my mom like it was yesterday.  I hope they have Kit Kats in heaven, because my dad loved Kit Kats.  And, I hope they have Indian food and lemon meringue pie for my mom and whatever else they might both still enjoy and find happiness in.

Comment by Casandra Porter on May 21, 2012 at 5:09pm

Liz - I am sorry for your loss. I lost my father to a heart attack, too. Nothing at all could have ever prepared me for that loss. My birthday is this week and it is so hard for me to get through these last few weeks. He passed away in March but it still hurts to think that he is gone. We got through Easter and my Mom's birthday but my birthday was our special time. We always spent it together. I am 32 and still confused about death. The thing is, we can ask ourselves why but that doesn't bring the person back. I had to learn that and you will too. Even now, I have days where all I can think about is him. But it does get easier. We will torture ourselves asking questions that cannot be answered but I learned to get by on the memories and not ask myself why and it has helped. This is the first real death I've had to deal with for someone close to me since I was very young. So, it is a new experience, new feelings. This group has helped me a lot. We can't answer "why" for you but we can provide an ear and a shoulder when you need one. I hope it helps you, too.  

Comment by Liz on May 21, 2012 at 4:58pm

My dad just passed a couple weeks ago. I`m 26 and getting married in less than 3 months...I dont want fathers day to come and I dont want his birthday to come either. Im having a really hard time coping with his unexpected death. He had a heart attack. Gone. Just like that. I dont understand death. I dont understand life either. Why was he taken from me so young? He wasnt suffering...or in a lot of pain....he didnt have cancer...why....I have so many unanswered questions. My dad consumes my thoughts and emotions every minute of every day. I just wish I knew he was OK.....

Comment by dream moon JO B on May 19, 2012 at 3:29pm

wen i went to the semetery to put flowers on my nan and grandas grave i left a message on for my dad telling him i miss him and love him wish he woz still with us non of us can stop crying over him wev bean likwe that sinse his funrell in march the hurt it leaves u is very painfull

Comment by dream moon JO B on May 17, 2012 at 3:15pm

im dreding fathers day next month i no ll be a toatl mess wen it comes coz i wont be able to by him any fink and i no wen i sea the cards in the shop ill be in tears i still cant stop crying i no its bean abot 10 weaks and i still cant eat proply just yet a few bites and im full people hav said iv lost wait coz i woz obease to just over wate now

Comment by dream moon JO B on May 16, 2012 at 3:38pm

i no how you feal andrea you apreaset yore parents more wen you get older my mum told me she never got over losing her dad and that woz over 40 yrs ago before i woz born i just wish i cud bring bac all my family iv lost bac to life i no i cant but i fink evry 1 on hear feals the sam my dad woz such a kind loving man he didnt deserve to die on sush a dirty ward

Comment by Andrea Clark on May 15, 2012 at 6:16pm

How true! I am 44, and I felt like 5 years old when my dad passed away. You are never too old to need a dad, I guess. I appreciated him much more when I became an adult and raised my own kids than I did when I was actually 5 years old! My mom is coming to visit me by herself this summer. It will feel so different without him. 

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