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Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on July 7, 2012 at 10:12am

jb - I agree.  Doctors scare me.  I think they do see us as guinea pigs sometimes.  I do hope that this new medicine does right by you.  I'm sorry you have sprains and ligaments hurt - those can be harder to heal.  I'm a medical massage therapist, so I work with that kind of thing all the time.  They are difficult and there is not a lot more that can be done than pain management and rest, etc. until it heals itself.  You're right - kinda like our hearts; they take a long time to heal when they are broken.  I do hope you heal quickly and well.

My friend Marjorie's cat tries to type on her keyboard too.  Nugget has not taken up that habit yet.  I kinda hope he doesn't.  I think that would get on my nerves, but I'd have to get used to it if he starts.

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 7, 2012 at 9:52am

i hope yore friend gets beter soon sum times i thnk drs treat us all like ginni pigs for trying difrent drugs to take i had to stop 1 of thm my self coz thy wer giving me illusnations so give me another type he did and another 1 last tuesday but iv bean told if makes me wezey stop taking strate away if only id broke tht arm and sted of spraning it all i no is broken bones nebd but sprains and torn ligments dont and nether odse broken hearts and me to find computers hard to figer out harf the time i oress the wong key and if lucy is in atackeck mode she press the right keys shd proberly spell beter thn me im more betr with cmarasas taking fotos 

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on July 7, 2012 at 8:28am

jb - sorry it has taken so long to write.  I have a friend whose sister is very sick.  She had bypass surgery yesterday, and she came through just fine.  She still needs a kidney though, so her journey of illness is not over yet.  But, she is in good spirits.  What is scary is that a reaction to a drug the doctor gave her caused all of this.  Scary.

You know, the more you talk to me, the more your dad is like my dad.  My dad was handicapped from child abuse, so he couldn't walk far.  He would give me money to go buy my mom a present, card, cake on her birthday, etc., and I would go shopping for her and wrap it and give it to him to give to her.  I wish I could do that again.

I think your doctor is right - that is a very bad thing your niece said.  I don't want to say bad things about her, because she is not my family, but she does seem insensitive to you.  Maybe she is spoiled.  I was raised by parents from the Appalachian Mountains, and respect for elders was paramount in that culture.  I can't imagine speaking to an elder that way, and I can't imagine my nieces or nephews speaking to me that way.  She is wrong to speak to you that way, but I don't want to say much more than that as she is your family and it is not my right to say much.  I will say that she is wrong.

jb - you poor sweetheart.  I did not realize you were so young.  38 is so young to loose your father.  I turned 50 just a few months ago at my birthday, and it still about killed me to loose both of my parents in my forties.  Had I lost them in my thirties when I was still relying so much on both of them, I think it would have killed me.  It's almost killed me loosing them in my forties, but I think it would have killed me to loose them in my thirties.  And, I see people on this site sometimes who loose their parents in their twenties.  I was so close to my parents that in my twenties I was at their house almost every time I wasn't working, because I didn't have my own family then and could do that.  If I would have lost them in my twenties, I'm so weak that I think I would have followed them.  I'm so sorry you lost your papa so young.

Did the doctor give you a good report, if that is not too personal for me to ask?  I remember early on when I started talking to you you felt like you got a message from your dad to go to the doctor (if I remember right), and you said you've had a hard time eating.  I hope everything was okay with your doctor's visit and any tests he ran.

Your kitty is such a little dickens - up high on the shelf/cabinet like that.  That is how my dad's Nugget that I now have is.  He climbs everything.  My dad and I got him this cat loft that looks like a tree and is covered with carpet when my dad was alive.  It is at least five feet tall.  That sits at the bottom of my steps in the living room.  Then, my mother-in-law got me and my dad another cat loft that is about three or four feet tall that we put by the front window, so he can sit on it and look out.  Then, by the dining room window I put this very decorative table my dad had gotten me that is small and light weight enough to be safe stacking - I stacked it on the buffet right next to the window.  That is like six feet tall, but he can sit on it and look out the side window.  I also have a space for him to sit and look out the window at the back window.  You'd think he'd have enough places to sit up high, but i still find him every day climbing up on something he's not supposed to be on to sit up high.  He's a little goober sometimes. 

Well, I'd better go.  I'll talk to you soon.  I hope you are doing well.  And, I noticed that you send me a friend request.  I'll accept that.  I'm learning to be better with computers, so I'll try to get over there more.  Sometimes I forget to get over in the personal part because I have to click a few more buttons, but I am training myself to get better about that. 

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 4, 2012 at 3:58pm

did 1 of my dads tricks today put sum soft drink in a plastic cup leaving it in the freazer for a few hours till its frozen ice cube and had my own ice drink i no my dad liket to do tht and saves a fotune bying ice drinks in the shops

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 3, 2012 at 3:58pm

HEAR IS ANOTHER 1 OF HER YRS AGP STORYAS HIDING ON TOP OF THE WARDRUBE SEAN THE DR TODAY I TOLD HIM WOT MY NEASE SAID HE TOLD ME THTS THE WORSE THNG TO SAY TO PEOPLE AND THT IT CUD TAKE YRS TO GREIVE

Comment by dream moon JO B on June 30, 2012 at 11:40am

shes 30 storyas i mean im 38 end of this yer and my dads bday wood of bean december myn woz november its mums bday next month well next week it is i used to hav to get my dad a card for mum and he wood give her money to buy her sumthnk nise and she allways did evry xmas he wood get me to get her a card 2 coz he cudent wark far coz it wood cut his breathin off if he did if he woz hear today he wood be very upset with my nease speaking to us like tht maybe we all spoilt her 2 mush wen she woz litel we all love her to bits but her adidude can be very nasty i wood of never spoke to any anti like tht i hav only 2 antis left 1 grate anti fru margie and she is 93 her husband my great uncle h died last yer at 92 he woz my dads blood uncle his dads bro my dads dad had all bro i not her woz lots of thm and his mum had a lot of bro and sisters but the 1s i met i tret thm all with respect i did it the minit with out my dad eash month seams to get harder not easer

Comment by christianlee on June 30, 2012 at 8:30am

Thank you for your very kind words. It really helps having this site ....because I don't feel so alone. Yes ..after dad passed I had more signs....but still continue to feel his presence at his farm......Thanks for writing. It made me feel better. Take care.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on June 29, 2012 at 9:15pm

Christianlee - I know how you feel.  It has been just over a year since my dad died.  I am grieving a little less, but to be honest, the only reason I'm grieving a little less is that my dad sent me so many after death experiences that I'm starting to believe that maybe he is okay.  I spent every day with him, especially after I became his caregiver, and some days I don't even feel like what I'm living without him is real.  I had a dream about him last night.  We were in his house where he lived, but the furniture was gone.  He was walking across the room but very light footed, almost like floating.  Then, he fell, but he slid down so easy.  I ran to him and held him and was so worried and asking him if he was okay.  He looked up at me and he was just limp but not really limp but like so free of stress that there was no tightness in his muscles like when he was alive and in pain and tight all the time and he told me he was okay and he was peaceful looking in his face and it seems there was a faint whitish glow around him.  I'm not sure what the dream meant, but when I woke up I realized he was okay.  I think maybe, but I could be wrong, that he was trying to tell me that I didn't need to worry about him falling like I did in life, because he's okay now.  I think he was trying to tell me that I could be at peace like him.  And, his property had meant so much to him, and I think maybe the furniture was gone to let me know that the house didn't really matter after all.  But, I know how you feel.  I miss him so much too.  I had a lot of after death experiences right after he died, and now they are getting farther and farther apart.  That makes me miss him more.  I just hope that whatever he is doing over there that is making him contact me less that he is happy and at peace and free of any type of suffering.  I'm sorry you are missing your dad so much.  With time, I'm sure it will get better for both of us.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on June 29, 2012 at 9:08pm

jb - I'm glad your appetite is coming back some, but I am so so so sorry your niece said that to you.  Is she very young?  Sometimes young people who have never lost anyone don't understand.  I would have never said something that cruel, but as i look back, I realize I should have helped my mom more when her own mother died.  I just didn't understand how bad it hurt, so I supported her during the funeral and right afterwards and then I just assumed she was okay.  How bad of me.  But, I was young.  Maybe your niece is young.  But, I can't imagine anyone thinking that we could forget our mom or dad.  They gave us life.  They were in our lives all of our lives.  I'm so sorry she said that to you and to your mother.  I am so sorry it made the grief come back more.  She will unfortunately understand one day when she looses someone she really loves and then she will be sorry she said that.  My guess is she does not understand, but it still hurts so bad.

Your Lucy is so cute.  I went out to lunch with my friend on Sunday.  Her name is Marjorie.  She loves cats so much.  She has a cat in her apartment that is her pet.  She rescues feral cats and gets them spayed and neutered so they don't have more feral kittens and then she feeds them for the rest of their lives.  So, I told her about your Lucy and she was just so thrilled to hear about Lucy's antics and how she plays with you and played with your dad.  Lucy is so cute.  It would scare me though if my cat hid in blankets like that, because I would be afraid I would not see him and sit on him.  But, she does look cozy in there.

Comment by dream moon JO B on June 29, 2012 at 3:50pm

tht woz her jumping in the wardrub as u sea i dont lik nout girlie footballl shrts and hears another 1 of her wen i fond her under the duvar civers i cudent find her any wer thn i saw this lump under the duvar and thr she woz

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