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Comment by Stephanie Wilson on March 6, 2013 at 9:49pm

To Debra, thank you for reaching out to me to help me. We are actually setting my dads headstone up tomorrow evening. The first one was done wrong now the right one is here and we are going as a family to set it. I know I will cry like crazy.thank you all for the kind words.

Comment by Stephanie Wilson on March 6, 2013 at 9:43pm

It has been a few days that I have been on this site. My sister got married Saturday and had my uncle walk her down the isle in place of my dad. She did put a picture of our dad in her bouquet. I cried I did not want to mess up her day. The wedding was nice we had a good reception danced a bit then came home. I miss my dad so much that I can't get out of this state I am in. I need somebody to talk to I just can't pull myself out of. I just miss my daddy.

Comment by David Poulin on March 2, 2013 at 3:01pm

I was reading an earlier post about seeing their father's vehicle in the driveway day after day since his passing.  I can relate to this since he was always home before me and seeing his truck just parked in the driveway knowing he I wouldn't be seeing him when I walked through the door was tough to do... Subsequently, one of my favorite new songs is "I drive your truck" which tells a similar story.  

Comment by Stephanie Wilson on February 28, 2013 at 10:50pm

I want to thank everybody here for their help in getting past this unbearable pain. I know it will never be the same and know I have major anxiety attacks and the fear of losing anybody else like my mom, my kids, my grandson, my husband. I know this is the order of life. I know now I just want to close myself off from everybody and I know that is wrong ,but I am so afraid of this pain. I don't want go through this again but it is something I can't beat is death.

Comment by Debra A. Whitemaine on February 28, 2013 at 3:47pm

Judy,

That is a terrible way to lose your Dad.  I am so sorry.   But what a fond memory to cherish.  Take care and God Bless.

Comment by Debra A. Whitemaine on February 28, 2013 at 3:45pm

Stephanie,

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know the pain you are talking about.  My Dad passed suddenly Sept 2012 and I can't believe how much it hurts.  I just want another hug from him.  Sometimes it doesn't seem real and I can't believe he is gone.  I have recently told myself that it is ok to be happy and feel joy even though he is gone.  This had made a big difference for me.  Oh, I still cry uncontrolably and at anytime but I can now allow myself to be happy.  He wouldn't want me sad all the time because he isn't here.  He loved to have fun and joke around.  Today is his birthday and I am doing well.  I went ot see him yesterday and shed many tears.  I even went to look at headstones as a birthday gift for him.  I know this sounds strange but he understands and I'm sure appreciates my gift.  Hang in there and God Bless you and your family.

Comment by Judy Koretz on February 28, 2013 at 9:37am

The Last time I saw my dad ,  I was barely starting out as a teenager.  My sister just  graduated from Junior High School.  My parents were separated but decided to get together for  the   celebration , so the four of us spend the day in N.Y. City Central park.  It was the first time we saw our parents together in a very long time.  It  was actually about ten years since they  spend  some time together.  I remember it was a beautiful sunny day in June .  We had a great time that day in the park .  Everyone got along  well  that  day.  It is still a fond memory for me even after all these years.  At the end of the day we had to  go home  in different   directions.   I lived in Brooklyn  with mom and my  Dad Lived in the  South  Bronx.  I  will never forget how we said our good- by's  and  I watched  my Dad walk away in the opposite direction leaving the park.     He  was headed  for the D train .  For  some unexplained  reason I kept looking  back at him watching him  walk further  and further away from us.    I couldn't  stop myself from turning back to see him  !     Little  did I know that would be the last time I would  ever  see him again in my life !   About a week or so later he  was   mugged in his own apartment  on July 4th  and shot in the head !   He lived for about another two weeks in a coma and then died when we were in the hospital visiting  him!   He was  probably being watched by gang  members. They  decided  to act on July 4th because  it was so noisy from the loud fire crackers  they felt confident  it would muffle the sound of the gun fire !   My dad's killers  were never caught !  But I do believe in God, so I am sure they will get what they deserve or probably have  by now !  

Comment by Stephanie Wilson on February 27, 2013 at 6:50pm

Grief is so hard. I hate the different emotions that we go through. My husband bless his heart tries to help me but sometimes I get very irritable I don't want to take this grief out on anybody else, but it is hard.

Comment by dream moon JO B on February 27, 2013 at 2:58pm

hi stephanie u remid me of me in som ways i loved my daddy dad pa father so mush it kils me in side tht his not arond any more iv even bort his body spray so i can smell him rond the house still i no som people mite thnk im a bit crazy but i cant help it iv got his 2 dresing gowns and a few of his cloths but i cant let any 1 toch thm coz thy still hav his smell on thm i understand how u feal it still hurts me now and its bean nealy a yr i hav a lot of strange dreams abot him wear we go to plase he used to take me wen i get ths strange dreams i dont whont to wake up iv even stat my own dream journla in the house and on hear its like i dont whont the dreams to ever end i had nitemares it 1st last yr thn i had to buy a dream catcher thn thes strange dreams startied coming bac i just wished evry 1 cud live for ever but thy cant 

Comment by Stephanie Wilson on February 27, 2013 at 8:46am

Why does losing somebody you love have to hurt so much?

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