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Comment by Cindy Giron on November 23, 2009 at 2:13pm

Dear Daisy,
I'm sorry you had such a rough birthday. It seems like any kind of holiday or day that use to be for celebrating is now just a reminder to me that someone is missing, my dad. It has been 5 months since I lost my dad and I keep waiting for it to get easier.

Comment by Daisy Quinones on November 20, 2009 at 2:23pm

Oh God, this is the worst day. Is my first birthday without a phone call from my father. I know other family members and
friends have email me and called me. But I miss my Papi so bad. Right now I'm just sitting here wearing one of his favorites
shirts and crying, crying like a baby. I cant stop.....the pain is horrible. Cant understand this, it's been 4 months and the pain is still so bad.....
I don't know what everybody feels but it seems to me like my other siblings are doing much better than me.
What is wrong with me? I just want to hide and not see or talk to anybody.
And my husband seems to be losing patience with me. Cant say I blame him.

Comment by HBB on November 14, 2009 at 10:37pm

Dear Becky,
It sounds like seeing his name on the marker might make you realize that he reallly is not coming back, that your relationship with him on this earth in a physical form is over and you will not see him again in this way. Hopefully, over time you will connect with him in other ways and this will comfort you. My dad's birthday was today and I hope he is doing well wherever he is. I never thought I would stop crying or be able to say that but I have been able to let go a bit. I am making a scrapbook about him, and I think this will help. Maybe you would like to do this. I went to a meetup group where people sit around and scrapbook, which helped to motivate me to begin the work. Just go to www.meetups.com and look in your area for this or any other interest you have. Take good care of yourself in the process.

Comment by Becky Redmon on November 11, 2009 at 6:17pm

Tomorrow I am going to pick up my dad's engraved marker. His birthday was this past Halloween. My siblings, my son and I were going to put him where he grew on his farm, but we decided against it because of the uncertainty of the future of the land. So we put him next to granny and grandpop. This was the most saddest event. We should have been talking to him and giving him his presents, instead we dug a hole and put his remains along with poems, my sister made a heart necklace(my heart bleeds for you, popie.) We covered it up and then put a bronze statue of a little boy holding a bird. Tomorrow I pick up the marker with his name and his nickname, Popie. (I wrote it Papie). I will break down because we are used to seeing his name on his letters signed in pen. This time it is on a marker.
Please help me to understand all of this. I'm about to tear up right now thinking about this.

Comment by Daisy Quinones on November 10, 2009 at 7:40pm

My Papi also died suddenly. In July 10 2009. And I still cant believe it. Just last week I was going to call him to talk about the Yankees winning. I forget he is gone. This is the worst thing, to know that I will never see him again. Today I had a really bad day . I cried a lot. I feel really bad. So finally today I went to the doctor. I don't sleep, get confused easy, my mind is like in a fog. And yes with the holidays coming is going to be horrible. Even my birthday, its coming soon, and my dad always remembered it. He had 6 children and he always said I was the only one that he remembered the birth date because I'm the oldest.
I don't know how it's going to be without his phone call....
Well I thank everybody for listening.

Comment by susan denner on November 10, 2009 at 7:17pm

I lost my dad suddenly January 6, 2009. The first few months I was numb. I am doing better, but am having a hard time with the holidays coming. Today I got a magazine that was all about the holidays. I had to stop reading as the thought of the holidays without my dad is heartbreaking. My daughter is nine, and is doing ok. She says I am lucky to have had my dad for 38 years and she only had him for eight - this breaks my heart.

Comment by Katherine Ellis on November 5, 2009 at 12:13am

Jennifer. The pain will never go away. In time it will get softer for you. What you are feeling are all normal feelings. I can remember the pain of loosing both my father and my daughter. It took a long time but I am better now. I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad. We will always be Daddy's little girls. I am praying for you and your family. God Bless

Comment by HBB on November 2, 2009 at 11:49pm

Thank you to those who read and replied to my post. And to Jennifer, hang in there. Crying is the best thing right now and when you are ready to talk I pray you will have someone to share with. It is impossible to understand this kind pf pain and i am so sorry for you. the intensity of the pain does change. but each person's journey is different and I wish you well at this difficult time.
Personally I feel a terrible void and do not cry as much now. there is nothing fun about this and I feel it has triggered lots of ol stuff inside me that I don't really understand. Lots of rage and fear. I hope to be able to heal and to see a light at the end of the tunnel everyone speaks about. HBB

Comment by Jennifer Latham on November 2, 2009 at 12:59pm

I don't know where to start. I am having a horrible time dealing with the loss of my father. It was an unexpected death. He fell and broke his neck, and after spending 4 1/2 days in the hospital and only 8 hours away from surgery, he passed away. I can't sleep, my eating is out of control, I want to cry all the time, and I feel like I cannot talk to anyone about the way I am feeling. I don't feel like I can even talk to my sisters, even though I know they are feeling the same way I am. Every day is a brand new pain, when for a brief moment I forget that he is gone and I go to pick up the phone to call him and then realize that I will never be able to talk to him again. It hurts so much. He was my rock, my advisor and my friend, as well as my dad. When does the hurt stop?

Comment by Katherine Ellis on October 19, 2009 at 3:31am

Becky. Death changes a person and we are never the same. I lost my Dad and my Daughter. I don't cry like I used to but I am a very sad person who doesn't smile very much. Losing the people we love sucks the joy out of our souls and I don't think we ever get it back. Time will help you. But it takes a long time. I beleive that I will see my Dad and Daughter again. Hang in there. I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

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