I lost my father on November 4, 2011 one week before my birthday.  It was sudden.  I still can't believe he is gone.  I miss his voice and his jokes.  I dont know how to go on without him.  My aunt told me not to make sad a lifestyle.  I know she is right, but I am so sad that my heart hurts.  I was daddy's little girl.  I am an only child and have no one to turn to.  I worry about my mom being alone.  I don't want to go anywhere or do anything or even talk to anyone.  I force myself to go out and do things.  I am tired of putting on a happy face when I am dying inside.  I suffer from anxiety and depression and it has gotten much worse since his death.  I thought about seeing a grief counselor, but I feel like there is nothing anyone can say or do to make it better.  Unless they can bring him back, which I know is impossible.  How do I move on?  I cry almost everyday and everynight when I go to bed I replay the day he died over and over.  His birthday is coming in the beginning of February and I am dreading it.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Stephanie

Views: 118

Replies to This Discussion

hi stephanie, 

i am so sorry for what you're going through, i know how much it can hurt. i lost my dad in july of 2011, the day before my wedding so it has been devastating on so many different levels. i was really close to him, much more than the rest of my family. i know right now it may not seem like it but the pain does get more manageable. it's never going to go away completely but you'll get to a point where you can function and even have happy days again. it's been almost 6 months for me and i can't believe how much healing has happened in that time when i think about where i was even 2 months ago. i do still replay the day he died often, almost daily but it doesn't feel as obsessive as it used to. i went to a greif counselor and it did help, especially with things like intrusive thoughts. now at least i am able to remember him in a happy way instead of just thinking about his death. 

we're all here to listen, i hope things get better for you. just remember that your dad loved you and would want you to live your life and be happy. 

-megan 

Hi Stephanie .. I lost my dad too this past summer. The pain some days are too much to bear. I was my dads only daughter ..so I too was daddy's little girl. I have been comforted by recent dreams I've had of him. I know that our dads are still with us and would not leave us behind. However this new year without him has been real rough. I feel like its so hard to move ahead and I don't want forget the last year of his life. Hard on my mom too....tough to know the right things to say when you are just as uncertain. Only hope for peace and understanding for you and I. Still don't understand why he had to go so soon. Peace and blessing to you.

Hi Stephanie,

I wish I didn't identify with how you feel but I do.  It has been 5 months now since my Daddy died, and I too was a "Daddy's girl".  He was the one person I could talk to, to share with, to go to with any troubles.  He thought the world of me.  I am losing friends because I can't get up the energy to be around people much.  I sense that people close to me are getting tired of me crying about my dad.  I even had a friend tell me it was childish that I was crying over the fact my mother didn't call me on my birthday, knowing my beloved father is gone, making it seem worse.  I feel like an orphan.  I know logically there is nothing I can do, that sitting around depressed isn't helping anybody...but the pain is so great to bear, that it zaps me physically.  Most days I am just numb not knowing what to do.  I know that nothing in life lasts forever but day after day of this pain is so great.  Therapy, meds, etc. ,etc., do not appeal to me as I know it will only prolong what I need to get through.  I don't need anyone to tell me to think positively, to move forward, to appreciate what I did have with my dad, etc.  It's such garbage.  I just need to heal.. and how that will happen, I don't know.

Oh Stella..I feel so much like you. I share your same feelings...folks say in time it will get better, however I feel with time things have gotten worse. My once close family seems farther apart. The statement stands true a whole can justify its means. When a piece Breaks off its difficult to function as what we call normal again. I feel like I had such an easy life with my dad. Now life without him seems so sad and blue.

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
Kali joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Sep 25
Profile IconKali and Bridget Baker joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 25

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service