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Comment by dream moon JO B on October 7, 2013 at 3:30pm

i hop 1 day thy will invent a camra it fimlss our dreams storyas 

it wud mk a grt movie

iv alwayz saed th abot meds mking us dream krazy stuf

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on October 6, 2013 at 6:19pm

Jo B - thanks for your response.  I wish we could tape our dreams on a camera too.  We could look back on them and remember anything we forgot when we woke up.  And, we would always have them and could go look at them at any time.  Wouldn't that be amazing.

I like your dream where you were walking on clouds and fields and mountains and lakes.  That is a wonderful dream

I wonder if the medicine makes us dream things that are just the medicine messing with our chemistry or if the medicine makes us so tired that we are more open to dreams?

Have a good night.  I'll talk to you again soon.

Comment by dream moon JO B on October 6, 2013 at 4:01pm

iv had thm typ of dreams 2 storyas lk gong 2 s1 party in famly 

it hpen onse wen my dad woz aliv i woz on thes antibitoc wish toltl zonket me oyt thy did i drem s weid stuff of my nanna/gran cuzen steven o thy wear alwayz t gethr 

i no my nana usd 2 get evry 1 drunk if she saw us evn tho i wz undrage 

i thnk she has had all her gran kids drunk at 1 pint 

but she wz so lvly she wz

all i got tld thm antibitocs wear nkng me ilsunstate thy wear 

all i no meds can do funny thngs 2 us esply anti bitocs can

but aftr my dad died iv had mny weid dreams thy feal so real

1 of bst 1s i had wz warkng on cluds wi loved 1s wrkng on big feilds moutains thn a big lake wz evn thsd masiv hotell wz thr wen i dream tht 1 i allways feal toly weid  i do

i wish we cud stick a camra in sid ourr heds wen we r dreaming thy wud mk grt movies thy wud

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on October 5, 2013 at 7:41pm

One more thing to add to what I just posted:  I remember that happened one other time - she and I made plans in the dream to go shopping the next Saturday like we always did, and I woke up so excited that I was going to see her and we were going to go shopping.  Then, I realized she was gone and we weren't going to go shopping, and the grief was instantly back almost as bad as when I first lost her - and I started crying and crying.

But, in both of those cases it felt like I could feel her.  I miss her so much, and I don't feel alive most of the time any more.  But, when I get those brief moments where I feel her, I remember what it was like to feel alive before.  She was the main person who brought joy and meaning to my life, and now I just feel numb except for those few times when I wake up after these dreams and can feel her.  It is like we were soul mates or something and I'm not complete without her.

Thanks for listening.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on October 5, 2013 at 7:40pm

I had a dream the night after my Mom died in which she came to me wearing the dress she had worn when I took her to the hospital for the last time - a blue and white gingham dress - but in the dream it was clean instead of having vomit all over it.  She was laying on the blue couch we had as a kid.  And, her stomach had been very swollen before she died, and it was flat again.  She sat up on the couch and looked at me and said, "I'm feeling much better now" and then I woke up.

Every dream since then she has usually been walking around with me following her and begging her to go to the doctor and she is telling me she is not sick and I'm being very surprised that she is still alive even though the doctors told her she would die, and I'm trying to find reasons why she is still alive when the doctors said she would die.  This has been a recurring theme in every dream I've had since she died.  Usually, she is walking around, often there are other people around us, and I'm begging her to go to the doctor and she is telling me she is not sick and I'm surprised that she lived when the doctors said she wouldn't.  That has been most of the dreams.  In one dream she was working, and there were big machines that she was working with - big silver metal machines - but I'm not sure what she was doing.  It seemed to be a job.  But, it was the same thing of me begging her to go to the doctor, her telling me she doesn't need to, and me being surprised that she is still alive when the doctors said she wouldn't be.

Well, I had a similar dream last night.  Only in this dream she was in a very expensive apartment like a rich person would live in, which was interesting, because she lived in poverty all of her life.  It was her, but she was dressed very nicely and sitting on a couch.  I remember there were two mannequins for decorations that had gray and white striped tank tops on them with long pearls hanging from their necks - one was tall and one was shorter.  And, at one point someone came looking for us and I walked to the end of a counter that had doors open at the top of it and looked into a pristine chrome kitchen and said, "We're in here."  My mom was lounging back on a couch.  Everything was white and silver and pristine - the opposite of what she'd had in this life.  If she has such riches now, I'd be very happy for her, because she had so little in life.

Well, the thing about all of these dreams is that she and I were very very close, but she seems very aloof in these dreams.  She does not really connect with me but just answers my questions very blandly - in previous dreams telling me that she doesn't need to go to the doctor, becasue she is not sick.   In this dream, I was concerned for her diagnosis and asked her how she was feeling, and she answered that she was fine now that she gave up salmon.  I asked her if that was all she needed to do to feel better, and she said, "And bananas".  Up to that point, she seemed very distant - unlike anything we had in real life.

But, one thing that was different in this dream is that toward the end of the dream (maybe because I accepted that salmon and bananas was all that had made her sick), she got very warm and came over to the couch opposite her and was very warm like herself in life and said, "I have to go through those magazines I told you I'd go through" and she started to go through magazines at the end of the couch.  I like to draw - just for fun - and she used to save me calendars, so I could draw from the pictures.  Maybe that was the reason she was saving magazines for me.

Then, I woke up.  And, when I woke up, I literally felt like I'd been with her and when I woke up I had to realize she was not with me any more, and my grief was almost as fresh as the day I lost her, and I just started to cry.  I felt the loss so intensely.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on October 5, 2013 at 7:36pm

Jo B - the train dream sounds wonderful - positive and happy.  This is only my guess so take this with a grain of salt, but it sounds to me since you used to ride the train a lot with your Dad that your Dad was on the train with you to say that he is still with you like he was when you rode the train together when you were a child.  I think the other loved ones were there to tag onto that message and let you know that they are still with you too.  That dream makes my heart and mind happy.  I hope it makes your heart and mind happy too.

Comment by dream moon JO B on October 5, 2013 at 3:17pm

i ah 1 of thm dreams wn i feal sleep 2 day i wz on a train wi my dad oth lovd 1s it had pst but train wz gong so fst it wz lk a x s press train not mny stops but i saw a lot of thngs so fst thn i got woke up dream flt grt it did i wisg u cud put a camra in our heds 2 flm our dreams but u cn always cnt thn on vimeo or dalymostion or break or so but th 1 wz lk my dream wish wz on vimeo it wz

link landscape: volume one http://vimeo.com/1619874 embed code landscape: volume one

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 24, 2013 at 3:54pm

i had 1 of thm dreams abot my dad othr lovd 1s it woz ion north est cst 

i no we usd 2 go trh a lot wen i woz a kid all i  no u cud nve get me out pf sea wen i woz a kid it woz allw e cid afrd in 80s it woz but in ths dream th sky woz britwe sun woz shnging no rubish flyng arnd evry 1 loooket so yng thy did no 1 lookt old evry 1 woz happy dnt no why i dream it but i enjoyd it iv saed ths a few tms i wisht u cud pit a camra in out heds 2 film or dreams bu ths 1 woz on vimeo it flt lk s 1 mst be fimlmg my dreams if iv dun it wong its coz of my bad hnd witng or spelling

link http://vimeo.com/2585206 embed code

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 19, 2013 at 4:18pm

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 3, 2013 at 3:16pm

i had a dream abot my dad othr lovd 1s it wozz in a restront it woz 

evn som th livng wear in th restrony wit som of othrs it had past away

it woz a bg restront it woz but evry 1 looket grt yng thy did no 1 woz sic or ill

tabe, woz ful of food but it flt so real it did lk it realy hapend 

i flt weid wen i woke up aftr dreamng tht 1

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