2012 has been THE hardest year ever. I lost my fiancé January 15, 2012. He was on his way home from work n died 8 minutes away from the house. He was on the highway n hit a disabled vehicle. He got out to make sure the driver was ok. The police say because it was foggy the other car didn't see him n hit him. He died saying are you ok. Two cops came to the house and told me the news. My oldest was 6 at the time n the baby was 4 months. I wanted to wake up n it be a bad dream. We were suppose to get married in July of 2012.

A year later n it's like it just happened. It's been hard to grieve n be a good mom at the same time. I'm trying but it's so so hard. My friend suggested I start writing n talking to others. That's why I joined.

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yes 2012 woz hard i dont no how to put it  but im going to say it it felt like 2012 i thrt 2013 wud be beter but it woz not a good start 6 th deths in jnauray of 2013 people who i new 2 nboz died 1 to alzimes 1 to 2 hit and run drivers 2 of my dads freinds bryan and jimmy both hevry smokers and drinkes and a cuzen on my dads side who i only sea at partys and a cuzen in law my cuzens husband he died whot mad it wors he died on the sam crap ward my dad and surgat uncle died on only fond out my dads sisters died on the ward yrs ago wish sensery wen i woz only a kid wen 2of thm died the 3rdof march is coming up im trying to do thngs to tak my mind off it toaday i got the wong usb leads to mak sure i dont lose any videos off my old camcorda i no its a old 1 but i dont wont to loze the old video moments of the 90s just wish death did not happen

In 2012 I lost my fiancé in January, then his aunt in July, my aunt in August, my uncle in October, then a friend of the family in October. I truly thought 2013 would be different but I was wrong I guess. My cousin died last Tuesday I'm attending his funeral this weekend. I've been to more funeral then weddings. I should have been planning my wedding last year not his funeral. Where do we go from here?

as im geting older i seam to be going to mre funrells 2 the amont of funrells ib bean to in my life is starting to catch up to my age i no it sonds kid of weid wen i say on hear butits true so far so good bean deaths in febuary beter keep my gob shut coz evry tim i say so far so good bean no  d ths mont it happens jo

i did say on the 12th of feb well i did open my big gob to soon 1 of dads freinds has died it woz in the obistery notise today his funrells ia nxt weak u wud thnk the deaths wud slow don a bit but lately it has not slowed maby its coz im geting older and life is allways abot death lately i hate death i am cursed by it 

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