Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by anna l. on April 30, 2013 at 8:00pm

Michael, Im very sorry for your loss.  I don't think the name of this group is as important as the people who use it.  It is just a name.  Male or Female we all have shared something we would not wish another human on earth to ever have to go through.  I was with my husband 24/7 and watched him in such pain and nothing I could do to help him but give him his meds that were nearly useless, and hold his hand.  I would give anything to have another day with him, and I would give my life to have taken his last few days of hell away.  I think we all share that.  I know you miss your wife, miss the life you had with her, miss everything.  One month is just starting on this road but you have found a place where others are walking beside you. 

Permalink Reply by Michael Morton on April 30, 2013 at 8:19pm

Anna, thank you so much for what you said. Wow, I can feel your pain in your words.  I can tell you loved your husband very much.  You mention "others walking beside you"...I tell you, if it wasn't for this site I don't know what I would do.  There have been times on here that I actually forget how bad I am hurting.  Of course it starts right back up but in least for a little while....Again, thank you.

Permalink Reply by Melisa C on May 1, 2013 at 7:47am

Oh Michael I can relate to what you are saying. My mom passed in January her death was sudden so I haven't been able to really understand why did it all have to happen that way. I know the feeling about wanting to go back and do things differently, I wish I could relive our lives but in the mindset I have now, knowing that nothing lasts forever and that it's wrong to take people for granted.

 You talk about how you'd like to do everything for your wife, give her all your money. I remember nagging my mom when she bought something expensive or spent some money, and now I think... what was the point in worrying about all that? There are far more important things.

You've probably read in here that you can't get over grief, just go through it, so if you feel like crying, let it all out, it's better than just keeping it all inside, it's bound to come out at some point or another.

Permalink Reply by Michael Morton on May 2, 2013 at 6:32am

Hello Melisa, what you wrote explains why I am here.  This is the only place I have been that people "truely" understand what I (we) are going through. Thank you for everything you said and I am sorry for your loss.

Permalink Reply by Gail McCann on October 3, 2014 at 10:15am

Hi Michael, I'm so very sorry for your loss. This is my first post on the site as I've just joined. I cared for my husband who had Prostate cancer and I understand what you're saying about having to make decisions on your own. I felt that I was left completely alone and had to fight for everything during the three and a half years that he was ill. No one helped and the MacMillan nurse was useless! I'd never really experienced a death before and had no idea what to expect or how to handle things. In fact the whole experience was a nightmare for both my husband and myself and just a complete shambles from start to finish, including the hospital treatment!
I'm certain that you did everything you could and that your wife knew how much you cared and loved her, and that's really the most important thing. It's very early days for you, grief is the worst experience I've ever been through. My husband passed over in January 2012 and I am just starting to feel like living again. Bereavement is a personal thing and some days are better than others, but unfortunately there isn't a quick cure for it. All I can say is that it really does slowly get more bearable as time goes by. Be gentle with yourself and do whatever you need to do to cope. I used to sleep in the daytime sometimes because I felt exhausted. Don't try to pretend that you're ok just to please people. The pain you are feeling is because you loved your wife and that's the price we pay for love. I really wish I could be more help to you but hang on in there. Take care.