Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by mhi gp on October 26, 2016 at 5:19am

hi,

firstly, hugs to you.

secondly, you take all the time you need to grieve your mum. and five weeks is very recent.

PS: speaking purely for myself, i didn't want to "get over" my loved ones who died...so over time, i came up with the idea of building a new life or a new self, with this different relationship to my loved one.

Permalink Reply by 0bj3hki7v74d7 on January 22, 2017 at 12:42pm

Hi Mel,

I completely understand your grief. I lost my mom on October 7, and I am still a wreck. My mom was 87 and, like your mom, had a very good life. She has an exceptionally good marriage to my father and raised two daughters. However, nothing takes the pain away. I was 57 when she died, and I was stuck to her like glue for my entire life. I can't really cope without her. I have an estranged sister and very, very few friends. So, I grieve in solitude.

Permalink Reply by Paula Marie on March 15, 2017 at 10:05pm

I think I'll grieve the loss of my mother for the rest of my life, though I'm near your age and my mother passed away 4 years ago come May. How can a good mother ever be replaced? She can't, because no one will ever love us like that ever again. I've had some "good days" since her death, and even some good weeks, but the deep sadness always returns to me. This week it's been particularly difficult, I just miss her so much! She would have been 89 this year.

Permalink Reply by Laurie Slicer on March 19, 2017 at 8:11pm

My mom died in late January. I'm 64 and she was 102. Like you, I am grieving and sometimes even I think I should get over it. Then I realize that her long life gave me years more of memories and I miss her all the more. We all grieve the way we need to. I have sought out professional help because I know I need it. It might be something to consider. In any case, you need to move forward at a rate that keeps you balanced no matter what others say.

Permalink Reply by Theresa on April 8, 2017 at 7:47pm

Hi Mel, I understand completely, my mom died at 92, but was active, drove, met her friends, went to church everyday.

I am also 52 and my mom died from sudden cardiac arrest, it is just over a year for me and I think the second year is harder than the first because I was in a haze for a year and now all the anxiety is setting in and its awful.

Permalink Reply by BLUEBELL on April 15, 2017 at 9:19am

My Mom passed away on Valentines day 2 months ago. She was 98. I am the youngest of 5 children. I am not over the loss and do not think I ever will be. I am trying to make a life without her, but it is hard. I have reached out to family and friends and they have been very supportive...so far. But I know they will move on faster than me. Their lives were not focused on her like mine was. Being her caregiver for the past 3 years complicated our relationship and has intensified my grief. 

I still can not believe how much her death has effected me. Though I knew it was coming and thought I would be okay, I am not. Every day I miss her and want her back. Sometimes it just seems like a nightmare I am never going to wake up from.

Bluebell

Permalink Reply by Theresa on April 15, 2017 at 11:31am

Bluebell you were so lucky to have her until 98, I've been thinking, the closer you are to your mom the harder losing her is.

Its quite interesting when you talk to other people that have lost their mom, I feel like I am the only one who is so effected, some people are just like well what did you want she was 92, it shocks me.

I always tell her I love her at night before bed and I tell her I wish she would come to me in a dream.

I do wonder if they really know what is going on here, we just don't know..I really don't think they see the sadness that we have from them leaving this earth...I just keep holding on to my faith.